Splitting up - managing on State Pension (scared)

I might sound like a " hard-hearted Hannah", but I certainly wouldn't be giving money to my sons. As someone else said, wait a ( long) while till you see how your finances are looking.
It's time to put yourself first. Good luck in your new life. X

Thanks Roses and all others, your advice and support means a lot to me.

I feel very alone, it is me pushing this split forward as I truly feel I can't carry on like we are, my health and happiness are suffering.

OH won't address the issues in any way, and after more than 2 years I have had enough. He agrees with me, but won't take any action. So I am having to take the first step and make it happen, which is scary and not my nature. I have been driven to it. I haven't told all the family yet, not sure whether to leave it until after Christmas.

Lots of good advice on here from people who have done this kind of move before Seacliff I would just like to say good luck to you for the future, because this must be a really difficult and worrying time for you. ?

I have some tips about relocating as we have done it many times, but have settled now and don't intend moving again. It's important to check out the neighbourhood, and at different times of the day - and night - before you commit yourself. It may be obvious but we have discovered this to our cost two or three times in the past. If you are unsure it's best to rent for 6 months first and get a feel for the place, this is costly and unsettling, but better than making a mistake. Draw up a list of pros and cons, there is always a compromise to be made, as anyone who watches "Location" will know! Maintenance and running costs were high on our list as we are retired, but above all, location, location, location! Shops, transport links, doctors, hospitals etc.

When we were moving and retiring ans sorting ourselves out, I did loads of 'back of the envelope' calculations.
I found it a useful exercise as it made me think things through, and salute your courage and foresight.
I would say that as far as possible, use some capital to 'future proof' whatever dwelling you choose: good insulation, accessible bathroom etc.

Thanks everyone, lots of food for thought. Re moving to a much bigger town, it is appealing in a way but - it is over an hour away, I know no one there,so even though there is no doubt a lot going on I would rather be within half hour or closer to good friends, and in a smaller but friendly market town, which as quite a few groups I can join.

Meadowgran thanks for reminder about email frauds, I'd heard about that a while ago. You'd have thought by now they would all have taken steps to guard against this,but will check.

I am off to a third little town today to collect for Cat Protection .I will have a wander and see how it feels. I will check on all three possibles to see how many thriving social clubs they have.One place I have almost discounted as I feel it is quite cliquey and they don't seem very friendly to outsiders!

Please don't waste money on rent, and a rent deposit, the cost of storage and an extra removal plus having your things in store will make you feel rootless. I speak from experience! You have plenty of time to narrow down your search area which is local to you and find one or more ideal properties and to do your research as you are moving in the local area. If the sale and purchase chain falls through a couple of times it isn't the end of the world just steel yourself to expect that it might and even if you are a cash buyer purchases can fall through. Usually the chain works even if there are some stressful and hairy moments.
Hopefully you are aware of the email property funds frauds on solicitors email accounts and you will take steps to prevent this with your solicitor.
if you do have any money left over be very very cautious about who you take financial advice from make sure you use a registered independent adviser lots of advice on line on how to find one.

seacliff I downsized after a divorce, and made sure I moved to a small town with a railway line to a very large town with everything in it. That way, car not needed and railway journey if I meet friends for lunch is lovely.
I would be wary of buying property with rooms to rent out, better to get small 2 bed flat bungalow or house which is smaller and easier to heat, clean. I couldn't believe the difference in heating costs when downsizing from a 3 bed large house to a ground floor modest 2 bed flat.
You might need a solicitor to handle the 'Financial matters' side of your divorce as well as the divorce application itself. Don't sell yourself short - remember its not uncommon to live until we are 90 in the UK - get independent financial advice about investing any capital left over to maximize your income.Good luck.

According to the Age UK website the first £10,000 of savings are ignored for many benefits and for Pension Credit it looks as if you can have more than that.

seacliff I think your son is right. A friend rushed out to buy a house when she needed to downsize, admittedly she chose to move several hundred miles, but everyone advised her to rent for six months first, but she refused for the reasons you state and lived to regret it, she never settled in her new location.

what's coming up!

Yes, I have seen some new lovely builds, 2 bedroom terraced. I have never had a brand new house - must admit would be lovely to think I had the 10 year NHBC. I also hadn't considered stair lift as an answer if needed in future, thanks.

There are 2 possible small towns I'm considering, I have at least 1 friend in each. The cheaper place is not so attractive, but there is enough going on there.

I will now look at a 2 bed in each, and find out difference in council tax, as they are under different councils.My son said maybe I should not buy immediately, but rent for 6 months, to make sure I like it. But then I'd have added expense of storing my possessions. It would mean I'd be a cash buyer.The thought of selling up ours and buying new at same time is daunting, in case one falls through.

I am also finding out about proposed new builds for 2017- may as well see wats coming up.
This is all helping me feel my way,

Lazigirl is spot on. When looking at property to move to do consider houses as well. It may work out better to factor in the cost of a stairlift as an immediate purchase when comparing as bungalows can be very much more expensive than comparable houses.

In relation to the sum you will have once the house is sold. Now is the time to gather money. Make sure that you don't give away or promise any of your capital from your house sale until you have been living on your own for at least two years and you understand exactly what your outgoings are. It is not just house deposits. What contribution would you want to make to your sons' weddings and what about helping future grandchildren? That money can never be replaced again and there could be a lot of calls on it.
Work out various realistic budget scenarios on paper on what you could buy if you had to reduce the sale price of your house by say 10 or 15 percent.
Be very cautious about what you spend on the new house don't be tempted to replace white goods, take the old ones with you and replace them in turn as needed. Take into account that you will have both sale and purchase costs on the move and set a tight budget for those costs , shop around for solicitors, removal and estate agents costs and any decoration, carpets , repairs and replacements needed such as a new boiler and any improvements needed at both properties. Also budget for some abortive costs if your purchase falls through for some reason as can happen such as costs of surveys and solicitors work to date, it mounts up. Make sure you have a proper survey on the house you buy. Get yourself into the market by looking at properties from now on and assess what is value for money and which areas you should buy in.
You can just about live on a state pension of say around £540 per month but it will be very, very tight. Running a car will be difficult to afford. Perhaps you should be wary about giving up your job at this stage until after you have moved and settled in. Start reading the money saving expert forums MSE now there are lots of useful tips there. Hopefully you will be eligible for Council Tax benefit which otherwise will be one of your biggest monthly items. Find out about the savings limits for benefits as up to a certain amount of savings there is a tapering reduction in benefits. Having a pet could also be difficult on a tight budget how would you pay vet's bills? You must also think about the long term future as if the government removes the triple lock on state pensions in 2020 as they are indicating they will, our state pensions will then gradually lose value and will not go as far. By the time you are 75 you could be relatively much worse off than now.
Check what Council tax band your property purchase is in. Oh and don't forget to check broadband speed before you even go and look at the property!
Make sure you get your rightful share of the marriage assets. The temptation is to agree everything in a hurry because you feel guilty and let your husband get away with too much. Go through the proposals for the divorce settlement with a fine toothcomb.
Finally presumably the advice to improve your current home before marketing it has come from an estate agent. If not get the opinion of two or three agents and a current valuation before deciding what to do to the current property.
Lots to think about, a big change in your life, I am sure you can do it, bon courage!

I agree about bungalows having price premium. A new build would be more economical to run, better insulated and less maintenance, which is important for long term, if you can find somewhere to suit you. You can always instal stair lift if knees deteriorate! Seems scary to embark on such a life change but you are obviously approaching it very thoughtfully and you will probably discover a whole new life, interests and friends when you've settled.

Beware of having savings if you have a low income, because you won't be eligible for Pension Credit. You will be expected to spend the money before you can claim any benefits.

I moved to a town from a village with no facilities and poor transport links. I do have a car, but I don't use it that often, because I force myself to walk whenever possible, which I couldn't do in a village. I'm not old enough for a bus pass, but I do have a Senior Railcard, which has paid for itself many times over.

One way or the other you're going to find it a wrench, but it's do-able. When I was married, I lived in a big four bedroom detached house. Over the years I've downsized three times and, quite honestly, I don't miss any of the junk I'd accumulated. I also enjoy cooking just for me, which much of the time means not cooking at all. I eat salads and eggs, cheese or tinned fish during the Summer, which means there's hardly any washing up either and the oven doesn't need cleaning! Work out a strict budget and stick to it - and make sure you don't become isolated - the U3A is great and small towns often have reading groups, knitting circles...whatever floats your boat.

Age UK link info very helpful thanks MOnica. Not done it yet but I will.

Jayanna, your details really helped me too, knowing the actual amounts people are paying in similar housing, very grateful. At the minute we only have oil and elec, and not on mains drainage.I actually get quite a bit of clothing from George at Asda. I have quite a few clothes (just ordinary) and also have lots of shampoo/cleanser etc. Will take me a while to use it all.

I will be making soups and veggie bakes etc, I should lose weight as will be walking more and not being able to afford junk food. Usually a silver lining if you look hard enough!

Now just got to clear the house and barns of 20+ years of junk/old kids toys/OHs several old cars etc etc.Sadly we have 6 cats,some may need rehoming, as they are used to country and have little road sense. Also, I can't afford more than one.

At the moment I have quite an upset tummy because of all this.I think I must start telling everyone whats happening, so it is real, and we do go ahead this time. Just wish I knew where I'd be this time next year.

Just a bit more reassurance. I moved to a newish mid terrace. Sound insulation is excellent. My neighbours are delightful, close but not intrusive. Fuel bills about £50 a month.Water is on a solo tariff about £7. Food because I'm cooking what I want about £25 a week. Clothes are jeans and jumpers from asda or sainsbury. Honestly it's fine as long as you make good choices.

seacliff go and talk to Age UK rather than CAB. They are more clued up on pension matters. There will be a branch locally, you will find its address online of you do not know where it is. In the meanwhile Age UK also publish a lot of Fact Sheets. The following one is called 'More money in your pocket' and will give you a a guide to all benefits available to older people.

www.ageuk.org.uk/Documents/EN-GB/Information-guides/AgeUKIG43_More_Money_In_Your_Pocket_inf.pdf?dtrk=true

Thanks everyone. Apparently I can go to CA and get a benefits check for various scenarios. It cannot be definite of course as we don't know what we'll sell/buy for. And benefits could change. I just want a bit of peace of mind about it all.

I have been working 3 days a week, and just had agreement to reduce to 2. This is partly because the journey is pretty tiring, over an hour each way om a good day.Also driving costs and tax mean going to 2 days, I won't lose too much, I hope I'm doing the right thing.

if your income is low you will be able to have things like pension credit and it seems to me that if you are eligible to one benefit then others open up to you. You are also allowed some savings and still claim help - if you look on your Council website about getting benefits they tell you there how much savings you can have.
If you have spare money maybe you would be better getting yourself a newer small car to give you as much freedom as you wish and also make your new home comfortable so you are not trying to get things replaced etc. After all that then look at any money you may have before giving it to your sons - it is no good if you do that and then need financial help etc a couple of years down the line.

Thanks everyone. It is just reassuring to know it can be done, I have an awful feeling in my stomach at the thought of it all.

Yes I would love to get a more local job. Not sure how easy at 66, but I would give it a try, would help me meet more people too.

Re savings, I doubt if I'll have much. Most of our white goods are pretty old, so will have bit of expense starting up 2 households.

I hadn't thought of a solicitor - we agreed to split it half each. He has no pension, just any future money he may earn if he starts working after we split.

Have you seen a solicitor? You may be entitled to money from your husband after divorce. The CAB should be able to give you a heads up there too. Also you might be able to get a different job once you have moved which will not include driving.

Don't get too far ahead of yourself, seacliff, even when the work's been done on your current house it's still got to sell, and that can take time. The position as regards benefits etc. may have changed by then too.

Keep an eye on property for sale in your area of choice (Zoopla and Rightmove are good) to get a feel for the market. If you're able to buy outright I'm sure you'll be able to manage on your pension - good luck!

Be careful about giving away money and then claiming benefits as you may be treated as having deliberately deprived yourself of the capital and treated as still having it.