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Legal, pensions and money

Grandchildren and their money

(62 Posts)
chrisw Wed 04-Jan-17 15:51:14

Help please.

My 16 year old GS has joined the RAF as an apprentice engineer which is great. He is currently undergoing his initial training and seems to be settling in well. He came home at Christmas and we are all optimistic about his future there. He has been given £500 by the RAF during his initial training. His board and lodging are provided so that is pocket money. Despite the advice of his parents he went into town during his leave and spent £100 on a game which he is not allowed take back to base. He said that he could spend his own money as he liked. In a few weeks time when he starts his apprenticeship he will be in receipt of £1000 net per month.

His parents (of course) will do their best to advise him and to find qualified financial advisers to help him use his money sensibly. Have you any useful ideas?

How far (legally and morally) should a sixteen year old be able to spend his own (comparatively large sums of money) unwisely? What is your understanding and what are your views?

Thanks for any help you can offer.

radicalnan Thu 05-Jan-17 10:16:26

OMG lad of 16 has fun, hold the front page.

He is clearly sensible to have got himself an apprenticeship, leave him alone to do his growing up now, part of which is having choices about the stuff he wants to buy and how to spend his own money.

With the RAF, he will probably learn to drive and travel and live independently of home so he will have to have, a little 'risk' in his life, wasting a bit of money on fun won't harm him.

Stansgran Thu 05-Jan-17 10:32:20

Better than drink and drugs don't you think? Suggest he opens a savings isa via parents to aim for his own car if you must.

JS06 Thu 05-Jan-17 10:37:39

I admire your grandson for his achievements so far at this very young age and I also take my hat off to his Mum and Dad and grandparents for wanting the best for him.

Stansgran gives great advice here - a simple transfer to a savings account would be brilliant or maybe a small stakeholder pension pot in addition to anything the RAF may have for the future.

I wish him well, he's made a brilliant start to investing in his own future. All the best!

Jalima Thu 05-Jan-17 10:48:13

Well done to him
Of course he is thrilled to have some money of his own to spend and can afford to spend some a bit frivolously because he now has a steady income. He'll learn (or maybe not!)

Mine had some inheritance from both DGM and spent it on travelling as soon as they got their mitts on it at 18. I made some vague suggestions about it seeing them through their first year at university but it was gone on a gap year.
Part of the learning curve.

Lilylilo Thu 05-Jan-17 10:53:15

He sounds like any normal 16 year old with a bit of money in his pocket. £100 goes nowhere these days - a decent bottle of perfume is £75! Foxie i do hope you are joking!!!

harrysgran Thu 05-Jan-17 10:59:21

He is sixteen we can all rember that first rush of independence our first wage packet gave us I can think of a lot of worse things he could of spent his money on I'm sure given time he will spend his money wisely.

Neversaydie Thu 05-Jan-17 11:01:20

I hope foxiewas joking too
My daughters had their pocket money-half the child benefit each-paid into a bank account when they went to secondary school and we agreed what we would pay for and what they would in future .It taught them money management very young and both are really good with money.
I do think 16 is a bit late and a casual discussion about putting money into pension (!),savings etc might be opportune
But splurging a fifth of your first pay on something you really want us hardly spendthrift

Barmyoldbat Thu 05-Jan-17 11:17:17

As he is 16 he will not run up huge debts as he can't have a credit card until 18 and his debit card will be a baic card meaning he cant't have an overdraft. Let him enjoy it but suggest he puts a bit aside for car of his dreams!

Greyduster Thu 05-Jan-17 12:05:50

He's only just joined - let him get used to his new life and all it's implications. It's a big transition coming out of basic training and going into trade training. He'll probably be too busy to turn round. The good thing about RAF stations is that they are usually bang in the middle of nowhere so, without his own transport, he isn't not going to be running off into town every five minutes living the high life and splurging his wages. He'll be fine, he will learn, and he will have a great career, the same as my lad did, with qualifications and a good pension at the end of it. Please stop worrying about him.

Diddy1 Thu 05-Jan-17 12:37:25

Well done Grandson, the apprenticeship is a wonderful opportunity, and how lovely having so much "pocket money", he will after a while well,when the novelty wears off, spend and save wisely I am sure, he seems a sensible young man entering the RAF, what a future he will have, good luck to him.

Lilyflower Thu 05-Jan-17 12:38:34

A 16 year old is but a child and the young man will be rash and foolish with his first taste of significant earnings. He will also resent being told what to do and might behave worse to get revenge and rile his advisors.

Nevertheless, it is an abdication of parental duty to let the young fellow get the idea that his earnings are merely pocket money. As soon as my children were earning I took an amount of 'keep' from them for two reasons: firstly, to teach them about bills and financial planning and secondly to save it in secret for them for their first house deposits.

Perhaps someone the boy respects could give him a few hints about budgeting. The 50/30/20 rule is a must. Of one's earnings, 50% should go on living expenses (perhaps paid to parents for keep), 20% to savings and 30% to splurge on pleasures.

If he earns £1000 a month it is easy to split up and he can have £300 a month to spend as he desires.

Those who favour liberal parenting and consequence-free indulgence might consider their own finances. Do they have £1000 a month left after all their obligations to waste on whatever they like? Most people decidedly do not so why should a child have this as pocket money and be let off paying their due?

I would consider it an injury done to the young man to start him off with feckless and indulgent financial habits which will only bring him misery over his lifetime.

Legs55 Thu 05-Jan-17 12:42:12

foxie I do hope you weren't serious - suspect any approach to RAF would be shrugged off. At 16 he's done well to get an Apprenticeship & it will give him a good grounding for the future. I'm sure they are told of the risks of getting into debt & first time they overstep the mark they will fully appreciate the "wrath of god"

It's not unreasonable to want to buy something special with your first wage packet - didn't we all do it. Also when he sees fellow Apprentices saving or talking about what they are going to save for it will have an impact on him.

As he will learn to drive with the RAF he is likely to want a car, perhaps if you want to give him some financial advice I would gently point out the cost of buying, insuring & running a car.

Please don't lecture him as this will be counter-productive - "in one ear out of the other"

Ana Thu 05-Jan-17 12:48:54

Lilyflower he isn't living at home, and board and lodgings are already deducted from his pay by the RAF.

I don't think apprentices will get that much spare time that they'll be rushing out to spend, spend, spend in a ridiculous way.

dogsmother Thu 05-Jan-17 13:09:01

Games for £100 are what my daughter spends her money on, along with expensive make up and under wear. She pays board tries to save some but earns .....
She is older but still plays games and is I am delighted to say drug and alcohol ( for the most part) free.
It irks that I can't advise her but she earns it not me!
It's how they learn, he will do it his way and surely we all did?

Lewlew Thu 05-Jan-17 13:34:47

It's the youth culture. mumofmadboys, you are right... they have to learn! Some do and some don't.

Uni students do the same thing. They get their bursaries then blow them on pub crawls and gadgets, then eat beans on toast for the rest of the term.

Too soon we grow old, too late we grow smart!

Jalima Thu 05-Jan-17 14:55:22

It is illegal to give cheques for money you do not have to cover it.
Have I missed something, has he been doing that?
Which, of course, would need a stern chat with mum and dad before he gets into trouble.

He isn't living at home so it would be unfair for his DP to take keep off him (although DH always paid his mother his allotment even though he was scarcely at home).

Do they still have to pay an allotment to anyone these days? Do the RAF take money for keep?
They may well have an induction course with advice on how to manage their money

Ana Thu 05-Jan-17 14:58:51

The OP says that the RAF deducts his board and lodgings, Jalima.

Ana Thu 05-Jan-17 15:00:05

(or rather that it is provided for, so the money he gets is his own)

Jalima Thu 05-Jan-17 15:18:30

Thanks - I wasn't sure if that was just during initial training and whether they deduct keep afterwards when he enters the apprenticeship proper and is earning money monthly.

chrisw Thu 05-Jan-17 15:18:44

Fortunately, he and his parents can discuss such issues and agree to disagree. His parents do not (and could not!) impose their will. I can see your point about buying the game. Fine, he deserves a splurge. As you say, he earned it. I do wonder, though, what you think about the role of parents in their children's lives (in a general sense) when they are still as young as 16? What happened to wise counsel? I would not want to leave any 16 year old to run their own lives without support. Some mistakes are impossible to rectify. I think my GS would feel let down if his parents did that. I still support my children with what I hope is wise counsel and they are in their 40s. They also do they same for me!

Jalima Thu 05-Jan-17 15:20:01

Ah, the £1,000 pm during the apprenticeship is net presumably of normal deductions and of keep if they do take that off.

Jalima Thu 05-Jan-17 15:31:12

His Commanding Officer has a duty of care towards him as he/she has to all recruits particularly those under 18.

He is starting out on a new and important phase of his life and his parents can advise but if they become too heavy-handed or try to interfere too much he may resent that, which will have the opposite effect to what they intend.

Jalima Thu 05-Jan-17 15:31:48

And he won't be able to go out so much spending when he starts his training

jenn Thu 05-Jan-17 15:33:57

oh to be 16 again...

petra Thu 05-Jan-17 18:12:20

Who uses cheques? A 16 yr old wouldn't know what your talking about. There's a 'new' thing now: it's called electronic transfer.