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Legal, pensions and money

Will making

(30 Posts)
PoshGran Mon 06-Feb-17 17:44:05

Does anyone have any experience in successfully persuading a family member into making a will?

My brother is nearly 80 & has not made a will. He owns outright a small property (some 200 miles away from me) & has two offspring from his first marriage, one of whom he has been estranged from for 40-plus years. He lost his second wife three years ago, there were no children.

We have only really become close in the last five years or so & I have gently raised the issue as he has increasingly problematic health issues. His spoken wishes are that only his son benefits, but despite my pointing out that legally "Wishes are not Wills" he still has not done anything.

I think that my nephew (who lives even further away) & I need to start the difficult conversation between us, but I would welcome your suggestions as to what course we could consider. Has anyone been persuaded to make a will after resisting for a long time?
What do you reckon?

TriciaF Mon 03-Apr-17 11:21:23

Thanks starlady, that's a good idea, but we don't have actual money. We do have 2 houses, one in England and one in France.Different rules for each country. We should sell this one (France) but houses like ours aren't selling at the moment, too many on the market.

Starlady Sun 02-Apr-17 23:35:23

Trish, have you thought about giving your children some money NOW, while you're still alive? That way, dh doesn't have to think about them if he doesn't want to and you won't have to worry about resentment in the family after you're gone. Make sense?

TriciaF Tue 28-Mar-17 18:02:11

Thanks Iain I thought that would be the case.
As I'm older than my husband I'm likely to die first. He says he would spend it all, but ultimately his daughter would inherit anything left. We haven't so much, btw. It just seems a bit unfair on my 3.
Not that they're very materialistic, but I've seen the discord in families about things like this, and wouldn't want it to happen to our family.
Husband won't think about it.

iaincam Tue 28-Mar-17 14:18:55

Tricia, assuming you haven't made Wills, DO IT NOW! If you made old wills before you married, they were revoked by the marriage so you don't have Wills

Any assets you own jointly will pass to the survivor the survivor and then by their Will or their intestacy to their family. Any assets in your sole name will pass to your spouse and then under their will etc.

You should take advice from a specialist Solicitor (member of Society of Trust and Estate Practitioners, STEP, and/or Solicitors Forth the Elderly, SFE)

You need wills with trusts.

TriciaF Tue 28-Mar-17 13:59:25

Does anyone know the english inheritance law if, like us, we're married and each has children from a previous marriage?

Charleygirl Tue 28-Mar-17 12:21:48

I updated my will recently and I also have Lasting Power of Attorney, so I am sorted, even making provision for my cat if I should die first. It is so much easier for those left behind, in my case only cousins and they have not been included.

iaincam Tue 28-Mar-17 12:05:33

To Hilda, a will can also be contested if certain people; surviving spouse/CP, children,persons treated as children of the family (step-children) or anyone supported by the deceased feel the will has not made "reasonable financial provision" for them. This was confirmed last week by the Supreme Court in a case called Illott v Mitson. It also means they won't necessarily succeed.

MAKE A WILL

iaincam Tue 28-Mar-17 11:59:22

The rules of intestacy depend upon when a person died. For deaths after 2 October 2014 if one died with a spouse/civil partner and children the spouse gets the personal chattels (which does not include any interest in property) and the first £250,000 of the net estate.

If the estate is more than that, anything over £250,000 is split half to the spouse and half to children equally, in trust until age 18.

If there are no children, or grandchildren the surviving spouse gets everything (it used to be split with parents and siblings.

Anya Sat 18-Mar-17 06:17:55

That exactly true Yorkshireman99 - about it being best to go to a solicitor and get them to draw up a will. It's that kind of legal advice that's included in the cost of the will, which is in fact very reasonable.

Yorkshireman99 Sat 18-Mar-17 02:48:12

The nearest thing to a cast iron guarantee is to make a will using a solicitor i.e. not DIY or using a will writer. They will tell you what the options are and take notes to explain why you want to do. Unless there are exceptional circumstnces that will prevent a challenge to your will. Remember that even if you die intestate the distribution can be challenged. Having said that challenging a will is an expensive and uncertain process.

Elegran Tue 14-Mar-17 19:13:09

abbey try this clickbox explanation - step by step questions that lead you through it. Very clear.
www.gov.uk/inherits-someone-dies-without-will/y

abbey Tue 14-Mar-17 18:41:53

Elegran - I am assuming that if my husband pre deceases me then the situation will change. Right now I want a cast iron means of ensuring he gets my worldly goods and monies.

This is why I was so interested in another thread which commented that rules concerning how much a spouse could get were changed in 2011. However the poster only mentioned spouses and children. I need to know what happens when there are no children. the old intestacy rules used to leave all to a spouse in those circumstances.

It may well require that I juggle some accounts so that we fall inside the limits or we have both names on all accounts ( which isnt quite the case right now as I have some accounts in my own name only because they came from my aunt)

Elegran Tue 14-Mar-17 18:34:21

So how can she make sure that her husband is still alive when she dies?

Ana Tue 14-Mar-17 18:11:59

(unless of course she is a Very Rich Person...)

Ana Tue 14-Mar-17 18:11:20

HildaW, surely if abbey's husband is still alive when she dies, her half-brother would not be entitled to claim anything from her estate - it would all go to the surviving spouse.

Anya Tue 14-Mar-17 17:57:24

My co-grandparents are estranged from their son and want only their daughter (my DiL) to inherit. We've told them till we're blue in the face that both estranged son and their daughter will have equal claim on their estate. But they just don't get it and refuse to make wills saying 'everyone knows what we want' hmm

But then, they're from Yorkshire!!

HildaW Tue 14-Mar-17 17:34:40

Having consulted a solicitor it is....the only exception is when a dependent can prove the deceased was providing for them financially and failed to make a provision in the will. Cases that get into the press are statistically rare - they just get covered because it makes for a good story.
abbey....you state you have a half brother that you choose to have nothing to do with. If you die intestate and there is no one to prove otherwise....he could make a claim on your estate.

abbey Tue 14-Mar-17 16:32:17

That isnt the case though is it Hilda, given the number of examples in the press.

It seems that too often a persons last wishes are completely ignored by the courts. I would rather the lot went in taxes than give my only relatives anything ( they have never given me anything - and I have often been on the disadvantaged side when I was young). My aunt came through for me.

HildaW Tue 14-Mar-17 15:17:21

Contesting a Will is not an easy matter. So worrying about that is short sighted. There are only two reasons (for which you have to provide documentary evidence) one is mental incapacity the other is coercion (and that's just not someone nagging you)

HildaW Tue 14-Mar-17 15:14:21

The best incentive for making a Will is to keep fees and tax down. If this gentleman is leaving a decent estate and he dies intestate then the real winners will be the lawyers and tax office. If you make your own will....you can choose executors, by whom and how you are buried etc and even make some provision to offset tax.....its enough of an incentive for me.

abbey Tue 14-Mar-17 12:48:26

When my aunt died (childless) and I inherited as her sole relation I had absolutely no difficulty getting letters of administration. So it is often a falacy to say it is difficult.

I have no children. ( I have one half brother but I do not speak to him) . I am only interested in seeing my DH getting all the money if I die ( to help him survive until he dies - after that, I dont give a flying pig what happens.

I dont want anyone trying to contest anything, so I have not and will not write a will unless anything has changed in that 2011 rules change to make my DH's inheritance of anything I have in my own name his and his alone.

I get sick of people trying to persuade me otherwise - maybe your relative is the same?

PoshGran Thu 16-Feb-17 15:06:09

Thanks Starlady.
One of the reasons I find it hard to let go the issue of his not having a will (& please, don't get me wrong, I'm not nagging him every time we speak on the phone - those conversations are only ever face-to-face) is because following our mother's very sudden death 30 years ago, we went through all the legal rigmarole at that time.

I recall him saying that he wouldn't want his kids to have to do what we did - but it's possible he's forgotten - so, I agree that the issue is mine. Even though we are siblings, we don't really know each other well & have totally different outlooks on life. There's a 15 year gap between us, we have totally different memories of our parents, but we get on like a house on fire!

Thanks for your time. smile

Starlady Wed 15-Feb-17 11:15:20

So sorry about his health issues, PoshGran. I think it's wonderful that you go and visit him and, I guess, help him out when he needs it.

But I don't know why you have to get out of "watch & see mode" at those times. What's the point of bringing the issue up again? He obviously has no intention of making a will or is going to try to do it at the last minute. Nothing you say will change that. Let it go.

PoshGran Fri 10-Feb-17 11:53:37

Thank you all for your responses.

Ana - The death of my SiL three years ago prompted exactly that conversation.
Cunco - The article you mentioned is indeed very similar to one on the Government's website which I initially shared with him. Additionally, at different visits, so as not to overload, we have also discussed the free will-writing service carried out by some solicitors (each September, I think), professional Will Writers & DIY options! Each discussion elicits a positive response - but he needs to think about it!
Starlady - You are absolutely right in what you say about it not being my business - but thanks for understanding.

I will return to watch & see mode, until the next big problem or a request to come & "give him a break". He is currently awaiting results of bone marrow sampling to determine cause of recent severe anaemia.

smile

Starlady Thu 09-Feb-17 12:55:03

It's not really your business, PoshGran, but I understand that you care. Maybe try showing your brother the article that Cunco linked or show it to nephew and let him show it to his dad. Other than that, I don't think there's anything you can do.

Could be there's a reason brother only pays lip service to wanting property to go only to this one son? Maybe a part of him isn't fully against his estranged child sharing in the inheritance? So he says one thing but is just going to let the chips fall where they may? Aggravating but his choice.