Changing a joint Will

Thank you all for your responses.

Firstly I am going to try to explain how I feel to my DH. It is not about the money, more recognition of all they do for us. Also we now have GC and I would like to leave a small piece of jewelry to each of them. I am more of a 'bottom line' person whereas he is very much what will be will be/go with the flow.Opposites attract.

Sunseeker: TBH I haven't seen the Will for years, but from memory I am sure there were two copies, both identical but in different names. If that is so then they would be mirror wills from what you say.

Now just have to find the key to the desk hmm

In over 25 years working in the legal field I have never heard of a joint Will being used, which is why I assumed the OP was referring to mirror Wills. A joint Will or mutual Will can cause many problems, it can only be changed by both parties so a surviving spouse would not be able to change the Will to allow for a change in circumstances. If the OP does indeed have a joint or mutual Will my advice would be to go to a solicitor as soon as possible and get it sorted.

Apparently joint wills and mirror wills are not the same thing. A joint will is one shared document and "The provisions in the will aren't able to be changed without consent from both parties." http://www.simpsonmillar.co.uk/news/is-making-a-joint-will-a-good-idea-3181

When you say you have joint Wills, I am assuming you have "mirror" Wills, meaning you each signed a separate Will but it basically had the same provisions in each.

You can make a new Will, without your husband changing his. You could even write it yourself if is fairly straightforward (although I personally wouldn't recommend it), as long as you get two independent people to witness your signature, they must both see you sign and see each other sign. It shouldn't cost too much to have a Solicitor to draw up a simple Will and it would give you peace of mind.

Athough it is difficult topic to address, I think you are right to revisit your will, the situation has changed and you need to see a solicitor and get your wishes properly recorded. Leaving your half to your children would be a very normal thing to do, It is also possible to leave a letter with your will if you want to explain or make your wishes plain.
If it is not important to your husband, then go head without him and make sure your own share is divided as you wish and your children are properly remembered.

I'd say that you need to consult someone about the legal aspects here - I believe you can get a free short first appointment with a lawyer. Then you will know how to proceed. I have a feeling (but I could be wrong) that any subsequent will that you make will overwrite the previous one, but I don't know what impact that would have on his half of your joint will.

As far as your husband is concerned, could you perhaps say to him that as he doesn't care what happens to himself, you assume he doesn't care what arrangements you make for yourself? A codicil or addition to the original will might be possible, to express your wishes about what happens to your remains. Is he the executor, or is that a third person?