Financial Disaster

Yes good to hear your update...thanks

Thanks for the update though!

ButterandJam, my family were not lying to me and as this thread is many years old, the rules may not have been the same. However, they were totally up front with the Housing Society with their circumstances and as my daughter was disabled, they qualified. For a short while my SIL ran his own business to work around my daughter's needs but that was a disaster but he did learn some useful tradesman skills. My SIL got a labouring job with a company through his friend and they were impressed enough with his work ethic that they offered to train him to get his "ticket" so he could work as a subcontractor if he wanted to. However, he quickly got promotion and went on to a salaried job which changed their circumstances entirely.
My daughter was never in mortgage arrears so this was not a problem. They had run up expensive credit cards and they paid these off with the sale of their home. For all her recklessness with money, she would not or could not find it in herself to come to an arrangement with the credit card companies so they could stay in their own home. They sold their home very quickly and lived with me for 6 months whilst their new one was being built. This gave them breathing space.

Eight years on they are thinking about buying their own house again but the properties they live in take an age to sell and their are quite high costs associated with the Housing Association (HA) to do so. It helped them out when they were in a hole but it is still a very one sided agreement and as a New Build, it has had it's share of problems which the HA haven't always been helpful with. On the whole though, they are doing well and I hope they have learned a valuable lesson.

Thank you for all your replies but I probably won't return to this post as it is now history.

Back in the real world;

"Who is eligible for Shared Ownership?

The eligibility criteria for Shared Ownership will differ depending on the housing association, and there are also different rules for England, Wales, Scotland, and Northern Ireland.

However, generally you must:

Be 18 or over

Earn an annual income of less than £80,000 (£90,000 if you live in London)

Not already own a home (you can be an existing shared owner looking to move)

Be unable to afford to buy a suitable home on the open market

Not be in mortgage or rent arrears

Be able to prove you’ll be able to afford the monthly rent and mortgage payments, and have a good credit score"

op's dd and sil do not qualify . Based on her posts.

Either, they are lying through their teeth to OP.

Or......

I think seeing OP's reply triggered it for me. Sometimes it can be a poster's name, sometimes just the subject matter itself.
I do try to be vigilant!

Ooops, once again I didn’t check the date of OP!

MissAdventure

I think the citizens advice would help them to contact every company they owe money to, and offer a very small payment, regularly. Whilst on benefits, obviously, they would remain small, but at least they would all stabilise for now. They need some breathing space to work out the best way forward.

Yes they will, failing this there are other debt advice companies (free not the “dodgy” ones)

Below are link to those we used in the job centre (who should also be able to advise and help)

Christians Against Poverty (CAP)
capuk.org/get-help/cap-debt-help#:~:text=Tanya%3A%20To%20start%20your%20journey,0006%20to%20book%20an%20appointment.

nationaldebtline.org/

www.gov.uk/debt-advice

They can also consider applying for debt control orders, it does affect their credit rating but that’s probably already skewed.

Selling their home really should be an absolute last resort

Eight years is a long time!

This is a very old post but I hope this family have now sorted out all their issues.

here is a link to a government site that lists all the agencies that provide free debt advice.

I would suggest given their complex situation that they do nothing until they have signed up with one of these groups and they act on the best professional advice available www.gov.uk/debt-advice

Reported

Hang on to that optimism, sometimes that's all you've got.

Nonnie, expanding families, families with special needs, etc can join the scheme. It isn't an easy option as there are many onerous terms on the lease which are best avoided if you possibly can but, in this case, it is the best of a bad job. My DD didn't ever expect to need the benefit system but becoming dramatically disabled in a flash meant she had no choice. For them, it was never going to be a forever option but as my DD's condition can worsen considerably overnight with no end in sight, they need to have a way of paying to keep a roof over their head should those circumstances befall them again. They could have asked for a repayment plan but it would have impacted on my SIL starting up a business and he would need too much time off to satisfy an employer for my DD's hospital appointments. The new house is more suitable for my DD's needs too. I am optimistic it will give them a fresh start and at least they will have consistent tenure.

Can you have a shared ownership property if you have been a home owner?

Isn't there a free debt management service? I think they contact all the companies you owe and get them to agree not to add interest and arrange a repayment plan.

What a convoluted tale.

If it were me I would be very wary of posting on this site.

Good luck to you for doing so.

Its not a situation I have ever encountered, Sadly I have never ever to have any dealings with Govt Agencies.

Look at the mess Oxfam is in. money poured into it from the public purse

Good to hear that they seem to have found a way forward. I wish them luck and also better health for you all.

I just wanted to report back on how things are going. My DD and SIL have sold their house without even putting it on the market stc. Once my daughter calmed down with me, she rang me to tell me they were going to investigate all the options they possibly could. After much research by us all, she and her husband applied to buy a shared ownership property. This will protect her equity but mean the rent can be paid by the public purse if necessary. However, all this has jolted her husband into action and he has now set up his own business in the hope they can pay their own rent and she has changed her carer so she has someone she can rely on a little more. So far all is going quite well so it gives me a bit more hope for the future. Of course, there is a long way to go before the whole thing is settled but at least we are currently heading in the right direction.

Oh dear, I think your DD and her DH are probably too stressed out to consider other options, now that they have decided on one.
I hope bridges can be mended soon.

And boy, were ATOS incompetent. They stretched the whole process out by losing paperwork on a number of occasions. It was only when the MP got on the case that things got sorted out.
Thank you Luckygirl, for the moment I am keeping my head down and hoping my DD will regain her equilibrium. Unfortunately, with all the stress, she seems to take all my suggestions as criticisms rather than a desire to see her out of the frying pan into the fire.
Tomorrow I am having coffee with my son and I hope he will have an uplifting effect!

They used to run the work capability tests before they were sacked for incompetence.
I think it's Maximus now, unless they have been sacked for incompetence, too.

Who are ATOS, please?

I have no answers, but just wanted to send greetings and hope that there will be a way around this complex and unfortunate situation.

Does anyone have a good word to say for ATOS? - what a shambles.

Thank you FarNorth, my DD does get the benefit now but waiting so long for it to be sorted out was the start of the rot. Right now, my DD won't talk to me. She rang to ask my advice about estate agents which I gave willingly but the subject turned to what her options were again. I made the mistake of suggesting that we look at other options and although I believed that we had ended the call as friends, it appears not. Her DH rang this morning to cancel me baby sitting tomorrow, cancelled my DGD coming to the theatre with her cousin at the weekend and told me that my DD wants nothing to do with me. I am beginning to wonder if they have told us the whole story or whether this is a way of getting me out of the way. Meanwhile, I have DM giving me earache because I did as she asked me in making the suggestions to my DD. I think I could be in a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation here!

That all sounds terrible, icanhandthemback, especially your SiL's comment about breaking up.
I'm sorry I have no helpful advice. Could your daughter reapply now for the benefit that was turned down before?

Thank you for all your replies. They are currently getting all the benefits they are entitled to. The initial problem started 6 years ago. My DD was working and had taken time out to have her baby when her company didn't pay her maternity pay having promised her it. Neither did they pay the state element because the boss was pocketing the money. She was the main earner and she had to live off the money she had put aside to have a year out. The trouble was her company was wound up and so by the time she was due to go back to work (even if she had been able to) she couldn't. To compound it all, her husband was working for peanuts but because she had technically earned good money or was on maternity leave in the financial year previously, they couldn't claim tax or child tax credits. As soon as she was able she tried to claim sick pay but ATOS turned her down. By this time she was completely depressed and just stuck her head in the sand so wouldn't appeal even though by this time she had an official diagnosis and MRI scans which should have overturned the judgement. They were sharing a house with his DB but he wanted to move out and so they had to give him his share of the equity from their mortgage overdraft. CAB then gave them really bad advice that SIL should leave work to care for my DD and their DD as they would be entitled to a Carers Allowance, ESA etc. Unfortunately, you couldn't do this without my DD having a PIP so DWP wouldn't pay them anything. After nearly a year of fighting, eventually getting our MP involved, things were resolved but by that time the credit cards had been used. Since then, they have been struggling to get back on their feet. This means that they are loathe to go back to CAB to get any advice as they feel they were partly responsible for the mess they were in but, to be honest, I think ATOS were the real villains.
My SIL has no "trade" to get a job and has never done an office job. He is a labourer mainly (albeit an intelligent one who works hard when he's able to) but the moment he works, they not only lose benefits but also the other carer my daughter needs. They were hoping if he worked for himself he would be able to still pop into help as needed and also go to the hospital appointments with her as they are about 70 miles away each time. Whilst there were times they threw caution to the winds, most of the time it has just been a struggle.
My DM is completely disabled and I am disabled too. We all have the family congenital condition. We didn't know this before we had children but with each generation it seems to get bad earlier. My mother was in her 60's before it affected her to the extreme, I am in my 50's and some of the things that happened to me in my teens weren't attributed to it. My daughter was in her 20's and had her daughter before she knew. The problems we all had when we were younger were just thought to be one of those things.
There is no way they can live with my DM. She is narcissistic and will undermine their parenting and marriage every step of the way. She did it with me and my DD which is partly why our relationship has been strained but that it another story.
They seem to think that all will be solved by selling and renting. They will pay more rent than they ever would mortgage, they will have no security of tenure which is not going to be much fun if they have to keep moving and they will need a particular type of accommodation to suit her needs. Their life is going to be going from tough financially to tough in so many ways but I guess I have to stand back and let them make their choice.
Willow500 call me a cynic but I am really worried that the moment they sell, my DIL will take off with their daughter. My Mum paid for him to do a trade's course online with a couple of week's Practical. This was a year ago and he hasn't done it because a couple of month's ago he said he was worried he would build a good business and then their marriage would break up and my DD would get half of it. He has always said that he would take their DD away even if he couldn't have the house because they would have to pay back the grant for the disability adaptions. I am so worried for my DGD, I can barely breathe.