We have never got round to making a will, but now I am doing this for me without OH knowing. Our marriage has been rocky for years, he is not a great Dad and I don't trust him to help the children out if I go first. He is likely to blow the lot. I am a few years older so quite likely to go first.
I have seen a solicitor, and said I want to leave a lump sum to each child, so they at least have a bit towards a deposit. They have had no help from us, and deserve some. We both having savings in our own names so this works ok, most of mine is inherited from my parents who I know would want to help the G/C.
The solicitor understood our situation and strongly suggested that as well as the lump sum, I should leave them my share of the house, with proviso that OH lives in it as long as he wants, or a new marriage. Apparently this also means that if OH were needing to go into a home ever, half the house could not be counted when assessing his possessions, as it belongs to the children.
I will leave a letter to OH explaining my reasons why. Has anyone else ever done this type of thing? I feel bad about it, but also relief as I want my children to have some help.
OH will have some of his own money, but has no pension and has chosen not to work for past several years. When I mentioned this to solicitor, he said a clause can be added, saying if he downsizes, my half of the balance can be invested to give him an income for life, but the capital would still go to my children. I feel rather scared and upset at what I've done, but think I've been reasonably fair in the circumstances, although I think OH won't agree.
Also I don't want to make trouble between him and them, but he isn't best at staying in touch anyway. I would explain in letter to him that they have no inkling of all this, which is true.
I have discussed this with a family member who agrees with my actions and will be executor. I suppose I am just looking for reassurance that I'm not being too horrible.
