lending children house deposit

I do understand you PamelaJ.
Of course there is no perfect way of doing things - in the spirit of sharing ideas I'll add that we actually have no intention of waiting 30 years to even up!
That was written in so that if we unexpectedly go under the proverbial bus together, the finances can be formally evened up. In fact we intend to gift the youngest their 'share' this summer, 8 years after the oldest had theirs. Theoretically, in your situation, had you died in those intervening 3 years, and your estate split evenly, there would have been an imbalance'.
We'll leave the clause in our wills, as it means that any other gifts for various reasons can be taken account of.
Of course, we and I'm sure you, expect them to be fair to each other; but occasionally, if anything like benefits, divorces, care costs get involved, then the 'letter' not the 'spirit' of the will is what matters.

And yes, partners can be a very different kettle of fish!

I had some capital/savings from a divorce settlement. I don't have much of an income, just state pension and interest from savings. So I gave my 3 children a total of £30000 each on the understanding that they will pay me back @ £150 each per month.....an interest free loan so to speak. Two of them are paying me back regularly. I have just noticed that one of them has stopped his standing order to me. He has always been the difficult child. I don't know whether I should question him about this....there will be a big row if I do. And yet, it's not fair to the other two, because they are paying me back regularly.

I would take legal advice. Helped one child with the purchase only to lose the lot in the case of divorce as we thought the relationship solid, all done informally. He lost out big time, ex-wife in a lovely house.

Christalbee, there is no limit on how much you can give anybody, but if it is over £2,000 in any year it will be liable for inheritance tax for the next seven years. should you die in that period. I think the amount of inheritance tax due diminishes with each year.

Here is a link to the government site that explains it all. The £325,000 they refer to in the first paragraphs refers to the value your probate estate has to exceed to start paying inheritance tax. www.gov.uk/inheritance-tax/gifts

I don't treat all my children the same and never have because their circumstances are all different. Financially we have given, or lent to them, as our circumstances allowed and they have had need. Three of our four children are settled in their relationships and careers and are on a sound financial footing, the fourth is at the start of a promising career, but has struggled with mental health problems. One has never received more than a contribution to wedding expenses, another was lent a large sum towards a house purchase (since repaid). A third was lent a small amount towards a house deposit and the fourth has had substantial amounts in a combination of gifts and long-term loans. My children are very accepting of the way we help them according to need and are also generous towards each other with time, talents and money.