Divorce costs

My husband left me, there was no money or help. As he was disabled, he was not earning any money. Although none of the children were under 18 yrs at that time, there was still ten grand from an original mortgage of 14 and half grand outstanding.
I managed at the age of 61 yrs to find a job - first one for 20 years, paid off that mortgage, sold the house, to downsize.

We were still joint owners and, at the last minute, he refused to sign the papers to sell (just to be awkward). I was desperate, did not want to lose the purchasers or the smaller house I wished to purchase. So, I made an agreement to give him 50% of the new property and also 50% of the extra cash which was the difference of the sale price and the purchase price of the new property.

I moved into the new home, and over the next sixteen years spent a lot of money updating and extending it.
He then stated he wanted the his half of it in cash - forcing me to sell it.

I did go to a solicitor at this point and was told that I had a very good case to be entitled to far more than the fifty percent equity in the house. He had never lived there, never paid one penny towards its upkeep, etc. She suggested that I list what I had spent on it since I had been there on improvements (about £60,000 over the years and ask for that - she said I had a good chance of getting it BUT it would take over a year and could cost tens of thousands of pounds!!!
I decided it was not worth the stress and problems in the family it would cause - just to really give the lawyers so much of this money. So did not proceed.
Sold the house, and used just my half to purchase a flat owned entirely by me.
I just hope that he will not squander his half of that house, but have it so that when he dies (he is in late 70's), that money will go to the children and g,children,.

My divorce was 5 years ago and dragged on for 2 years, we were each responsible for our own costs. He wanted half of everything and I fought that because I owned my house outright in my sole name long before I met him. we ended up with his pension split 50/50, I kept my pensions and he got 25% of the house. I kept the house and bought him out. My legal fees were £21,000 and his were £50,000. Mine went on my credit card once I'd used up my savings and was transferred to a 0% credit card asap and I'm halfway through paying them off, just keep transferring from one 0% to another 0%. Hope that helps.

It isn't a case that you have to accept his settlement offer or go to court. The case will need to be concluded with a court order in any event as if you keep the case entirely out of court either of you could apply at some time in the future.
If you both instruct solicitors and make the required "Form E" declarations concerning your finances the solicitors will know roughly how the case will be resolved if it does go to court and encourage both parties to settle. If you don't settle there is always mediation and if the case did go to a full court determination the judge would probably try sending you out of court for one last attempt. OP, your daughter should instruct a solicitor for advice as soon as possible.

A number of factors can affect the cost of a divorce. Depending on your circumstances you can even go through a divorce without instructing a solicitor - DIY divorces are a lot more common than they used to be.

A decent article here outlining all the costs involved when going through the divorce process: www.elitelawsolicitors.co.uk/cost-of-a-divorce

Both parties have to agree the mediation. DD'S ex wouldn't go, I suspect because he would have found they thought he was an idiot as well!

Money comes and goes it is the other type of cost you want to be concerned about and that's the emotional cost.

Divorce can happen to anyone Getting over it is about accepting acknowledging learning from any mistakes and then moving on

18 years ago, our divorce cost about £30000...he had to pay £25000 and the rest £5000 I had to. He was being difficult and trying to hide his finances....I was not working. So maybe that's why I had to pay the lesser. I had to pay it out of my settlement

Have you thought about mediation? You can hopefully reach a mutual agreement you’re both happy with that gets written up into a financial/parental agreement by the mediator. This can then be turned into a consent order at a solicitors for a much lower fee than if the solicitor had drawn it up. I work for a firm of mediators and it works for lots of couples and believe me, it’s thousands of pounds cheaper than doing it through a solicitor! Saves battling it out in court and the couple, not the court, are the deciders. It doesn’t work for everyone I must add but it’s worth a chat with a mediator.

Definitely find a good family law lawyer. Most offer a free half hour initial consultation. Yes, lawyers don’t come cheap but your daughter really needs proper advice and someone to fight her corner to get the best settlement if her ex is being difficult. Most firms will let you pay in instalments and again, a good lawyer will keep costs down as much as possible.

I know someone who went to court in her divorce case to sort out finances for childcare , she had 2 young children and she was awarded 5p per week . This was in the 1990's . We thought she was joking until she showed us paperwork.

valeriej43 That happened with me too. I wasn't told I could keep the house and found out later that I could have stayed there until my youngest left fulltime education (this was back in the mid 80s). My solicitor was useless!!

I believe you can represent yourself in court if the costs of a solicitor are beyond your reach ( and they usually are it seems!) A work colleague did this and said the judge was helpful and understanding, going a long way towards calming her nerves.

I went to court with a friend of mine and she got a very good deal. However, several years on, when the ex started to mess about with the maintenance, it would have cost too much to take him back to court so she had to let it go.

As you have already used the expensive route make sure that your solicitor is careful to ask the court that his costs are not added on to your bill in the event that you are unsuccessful?a solicitor can also ask for a separate costs assessment hearing.
I often see problems because the costs are not clarified at the outset and you need to check over the original client care letter to see what the quoted costs for court attendance will be.
Barrister fees and court time will be considerably higher

Thanks. We are well down the divorce route with solicitors involved on both sides - have already spent many £1000 - our money because DD obviously can’t afford it. Just wondered if anyone had experience of pursuing this through to court proceedings and the costs of that. Several posters have given quite alarming figures. Anyway about to take further solicitor’s advice and spend more money!

The cost will depend on how long it takes! If the solicitor charges £200 ph the cost will spiral rapidly

CSA did help me to get £55 for one child under 18 for me. They told ex they would confiscate his driving licence unless he paid and he did pay up albeit grudgingly. He needed his driving licence for work. I did have to go to a tribunal though to demonstrate lifestyle inconsistent with declared income.

My exh offered me to keep house with small mortgage on it but he keep his pension and our joint business in which I had equal shares all for himself. I chose to seek advice form solicitor and she advised to get all assets valued before deciding. It was good advice as business alone was over four times the value of house. In effect my ex was offering me about 22% and proposing he kept 78% for himself when his pension was put into pot. I refused his offer and insisted on 50/50 split and had to go to court. Ex was so angry and did not turn up in court on 2 occasions. Judge annoyed as ex making things more difficult than need be and so judge awarded me 55% and ex only 45% as children living with me. We had to sell house though to release equity and I bought new house for me and kids. She should not settle for less than 50/50.

I agree the CSA are useless. My daughter has been trying to get support for their 9 year old daughter for years and she just gets letters from them saying they are chasing him but cannot prove he works. They say he owes thousands but she will never see it. He does lots of cash in hand jobs and spends all his money going to raves. His daughter does not even get birthday/Xmas cards.

My daughter went to what used to be the CSA to try to get my ex son in law to contribute towards the children - she asked for nothing for herself as she works full time. In the four years since he went off with his new partner he has only paid a year's worth of support money although he is a teacher and in full time employment. He keeps telling my grandchildren he has no money but he had gone on to have two more children with his current partner who doesn't work. The GC spent half term with their other GP's and he spent some time with them, still moaning he had no money to 'treat' them. When the GC came home my eldest GD asked when my DD was going to divorce him!! Apparently he wants to get married again but hasn't the money to get a divorce, even once the five years are up. My DD is furious he expects her to pay for the divorce and is quite content to stay as separated rather than divorced. He threatens now and then to take it to court but nothing happens - my daughter is trying to get the CSA to pursue the missing payments but they are, quite frankly, about as much use as a chocolate teapot, but she doesn't see why she should have to go to court to get him to pay for his own children, £60 per week to cover all three was what was set - he would be paying much more if he was still living with them!

A friend told me recently of someone she knows had been to court for a settlement and it cost them something like £75k - he has to pay two-thirds of that and she has to pay one-third.

#1 daughter's ex was not reasonable and she had one child by him and an older one to support. She did pursue it and the offer was improved. I do know it did cost money she struggled to manage, but I am not sure how much. I think you should get legal advice. CAB perhaps first?

youngagain
Legal aid is not granted for civil cases and divorce is a civil matter.

Has your DD's ex-husband got a solicitor? Does your DD have a solicitor? If not, I would suggest that your daughter gets one. The law requires the cleanest break and the starting point is a 50% split at the date of the declaration of assets and liabilities.
How far as your DD got with the divorce? Your DD can ask for a complete financial picture and your ex_SIL's solicitor should help him realise what is expected of him and how much it will cost him to defend a case launched by your DD.

My solicitor said my ex would have to be reasonable as a court case would be costly