Father's widow lying about the existence of a will

I recently obtained a copy of my SiL's will.
She and her H , my H's brother had no children.
She had told me when we were on holiday together that the nephews and nieces were all included.
After she died when nothing had been heard I requested a copy.
She left large sums to 4 friends and the child of one couple and all the rest to her niece and 2 nephews and just one of her H's nephews, not even a token amount to his brother.
This seemed so unfair to me as her H had contributed the bulk of the estate.
Such is life, have no expectations and you won't disappointed

My husband and I made identical wills (not mirror wills). We were advised to put the house in trust to reduce death duties. Unfortunately, the solicitor went bankrupt and the will was taken over by another company. We were never informed that the tax laws had changed and the trust was no longer necessary. We should have kept up-to-date ourselves, I know.

The letter of wishes stated that everything was to come to me and on my death to be split between our two daughters.. I made a new will immediately, leaving everything to be split between my daughter and his. My step-daughter refused to sign off the trust until she had received a third of the inheritance. It meant that I had to take out equity on the house to pay her off.

There is no letter of wishes with my will now. These are not legally enforceable like the will. I made yet another will leaving everything to my own daughter. My step-daughter had to sign an agreement that she would have no interest in what I leave.

It was all nasty and hurtful at a time when I should have been grieving and took over 18 months and a lot of solicitors' bills to sort out. We had been together for 35 years.

By the way, witnesses do not witness the will, only the signature.

A thorny subject even if there hasn't been a second marriage!
I can see why it is easier if someone dies intestate.

Unfortunately some people refuse to face up to the fact that they might die one day so they won't make a will.
Others are control freaks or very secretive or like to play others along about what they will leave them.

I thought wills become a public document after probate so anyone can read one? Years ago, my FIL managed to obtain a copy of my late father's will he couldn't believe nothing was left to my siblings and I) and my mother would never have provided us with a copy.

Some people are foolish enough to make their solicitor their executor, but executors have also been known to help themselves to the deceased's bank accounts because they can rely on the beneficiaries not knowing about all the bank accounts. One even sold the deceased's house to himself at a very low price until the beneficiaries queried it!

The law in other European countries requires people to leave their property/assets to their children. Perhaps that should happen here unless the person making the will leaves it to a charity and says why, in the will they do not wish to leave their money to their own children.

Our Solicitor gave us copies of our Wills and LPAs but the originals are held by them. Our family know which legal firm we use. Solicitors retain original signed Wills - maybe so they Execute the Wills. We are content for our Solicitor to act as our Executor

Some people register their Wills so they can be found.
We keep our Wills updated and have LPAs in place.
We’ve not registered our Wills, but many people do, so maybe worth a try?

I'm glad the will issue has been clarified, all you have to do is get your share, the value of the estate should be declared at probate, just take her to court to get your share. Because a lot of the value is likely tied up in the house, it may have to be sold which she will not like one bit.

Mirror Wills
Are entirely appropriate for young couples, you have no idea what the financial position will be in 20 40 or 60 yrs time. On the first death the surviving spouse gets the lot TAX FREE. They can decide what to do according to circumstances, if possible some should be distributed to any children by varying the will.

In my case, my husbands business was wound up and most of his half was shared by our daughters. My own share was the house, which I downsized, a life insurance payout and pension income, my costs are modest so when I go the house will go to the kids.

I do have a relationship with a man but I have no intention of marriage or even living with him because that would really upset the rest of the family and make them insecure.
Other women would want the security of marriage, her husbands first family will be very cautious if not hostile, however good her intentions, that hostility will make her dislike them.
ALL the second wives that I know have a poor relationship with his family even if they know that provision has been made in his will they still don't trust it.

AC=Adult Child. You can find a link to Acronyms at the bottom of the page. They are confusing, some people use them others don't. A bit of an alphabet soup. Welcome to Gransnet.

Excuse my ignorance but what does AC stand for. Someone said they were leaving some of their assets to AC

Coincidently there was an article in our newspapers today noting that nearly half of Australians die without a valid will according to the government body the Australian Investments and Securities Commission (ASIC). Clearly a large number of Aussies are also avoiding this issue.

If executors from siblings are instructed but will not agree on selling the house and releasing estate to be shared two years after death what can you do

Melanie the solicitor has said the will has been revoked as they got married after the will was made. Thank you for your comment

I am not any kind of expert so please disregard what I am going to write in next sentence if I am wrong.

If the Solicitors have a copy of the Will (and they are not likely to have destroyed it), surely the contents of it will have to be obeyed.

Perhaps I am naive or have completely missed something.

I wish you the very best of luck.

I think there are many fraud cases to do with wills. I know someone who produced a very old will made by her father and destroyed the later will. This meant she inherited his house completely. I know there was a huge argument but nothing was done.

My solicitor gave me a copy of my will. So it will be found, among my papers, even if the solicitor has lost their copy.
Don't all solicitors do that?

Over the years I have had this happen. We made a will and after 10 years we went back to the solicitor to change it. They had no trace of our will even though we had the receipt to prove we had made a will with them. They just said no worry just make a new one.

An elderly man neighbour who we looked after, after his wife died told us that he had left us £5000 in his will. For 5 years we had done his shopping for him looked after his garden took him to hospital appointments and looked after him in general cooking him a daily meal all for no payment. Then out of the blue he had his house painted the painter was working on his house for 3 weeks. Two years after his house was painted he died leaving his house and money £4092000 to.....you’ve guessed the man who painted his house!!!! Whom he never knew before he painted his house. Nothing to his sisters or anyone else. One of his sisters tried to contest the will and lost £2500 in legal fees.

My siblings and I never expected a penny as his wife was many years younger than him with AC and GC of her own. The only reason we enquired was because she won't answer any of our calls and messages, generally avoiding us. This made us suspicious but it seems we're better off now. All we ever wanted were some momentos/personal effects.

My parents used a will kit it was a complete disaster,my brother was a trustee and took everything.So please everyone make a will and TELL everyone you have made one,where it is,solicitors name etc.

It depends on the individuals involved, like everything else. Some people would dispute it if they got the best palace in heaven, they would want a holiday villa in hell as well.

Executors do not always follow the instructions in a will either. I have had experience of that too. As I said earlier, essentially a will is nothing more than a final wish list.

Yes, I agree kathyd, a lot of acrimony seems to result from wills and they get contested and all manner of things.

Abbey Your signature on your will can be witnessed by people in the solicitor's office when you go there to sign it. They are accustomed to dealing confidentially with clients' affairs. They will not gossip even about the fact that you have just signed, let alone what is in the will. They don't know what is in it anyway, only the solicitor who drew it up will know that, and if he/she gossips about it they should be struck off. Leave a note somewhere that it will be found, saying that the will is lodged with the solicitor and give contact details. It won't be read until after you have gone through the pearly gates, so if they want to make a fight of it, they can do it without you. You won't care by then.

Whenever wills come up I think of Lynda Bellingham, (the OXO advert lady). She had teenage sons she adored but married for the second time. She died not many years later leaving everything to her husband as she said she trusted him to look after the boys.
There has been acrimony ever since.

Your executors don’t need to be made aware of the contents of your will, at least in Scotland.

I am the executor for a number of relatives, and I have no idea of the contents of any of their wills.

I will carry out those duties to the letter, nevertheless.

Your solicitor and their staff may witness the wills.

Wills are never entirely confidential. People have to be told that they are written and people have to witness them. Executors have to be appointed and somewhere in all that then information leaks out.

Then those who do not like it complain or become bitter and nasty.

Wills are entirely confidential Abbey unless you choose to disclose their content. So I don’t understand your post.

People need to face up to the prospect of dying, leave a proper will or whatever legal instrument they decide on and stop hiding their head in the sand

Is it really facing up to the problem of dying that causes these issue ? In my own case I am aware of my mortality and it doesn't concern me that much. However, the reason I do not write a will ( aside of all the waste of times I have seen wills ignored) is that I don't want face up to "living" or rather all the problems writing any will by definition may bring with it - in other words, all the arguments and nasty words and actions that will ensue from anything I do that does not please everyone else!

That's the real problem. I don't want to spend my life having had words with those who don't like what I have decided to do because it doesn't suit them.