Fed up of worrying about money.

Once we had children my Wife was a stay at home Mum. We moderated our consumption to suit.

Her good sense with our money means we're never broke. The credit card company stopped emailing its reminders so we set-up her automated calendar reminders to pay the bill IN FULL on the 18th of each and every month. We did not use this failure in their service to run up CC debts.

Even for our kids she would never borrow money. Instead we taught our kids not to be slaves to labels and fashion.

One of our daughters now has three children and she proudly runs a logo-free household. With her husband she teaches her children how to argue the case for no logos so the would be bullies know how soft in the head they are.

Our sons in law, though, expect their wives to work outside the home so they have more cars and larger homes than us.

Live without logos.

Bopeep, as you are not working is your OH getting tax relief? Would it be possible for you to get a part time job? It would give you something to interest you and might help the cash flow.
Does your OH give you a regular amount or do you have any income of your own e.g. pension? I wonder if some of this worry comes from being totally dependant on your OH.
I must admit I have become really stingy this year. I can't eat lots of Christmas food as am diabetic and am using the old artificial tree that have had for 10 years. Not just a money thing but also an ecology issue. Also what is the New Year going to bring? My DGD needs new boots for school. Etc,etc.

I would never buy a Christmas hamper. Yes, it does spread the cost of Christmas food, but you could buy the same goods much more cheaply in a supermarket. If you don't trust yourself to put the 'hamper' money into a savings account each month why not buy the savings stamps that some shops offer? Putting away a certain amount each month is a much cheaper option than investing in expensive hampers (not to mention the fact them one company went bust, some years ago, and everyone lost the money they had saved)

It's human nature to want nice things and a credit card defers actually having to pay for them, hence credit is very seductive. The temptation is so great, it's what drives people to spend way over their budgets and to accumulate debt.

Like everything else in life, money has to be managed responsibly. Sit down with H and come up with a realistic budget and a spending plan that includes bringing down debt and putting money aside regularly....those two things should be a priority.

Having said that, holidays are a difficult time to stick to a budget, so why not make it a New Year's resolution instead? For now, put a limit on how much you plan to spend on gifts. Consider inexpensive, more thoughtful items such as framed family photos, handmade gifts by you or H, movie tickets, books, music, etc.

Having a plan and sticking to it, can alleviate much of the worry. Hope this helps and my best to you this holiday season

Don’t buy for adults! Kids will not remember what they have been given. But may remember a token gift and then card and promise to take them to cheap showing at cinema/park walk collecting leaves for collage/baking biscuits/creating a story book.
Also. All the tat bought at this time of year is used for a minute and then binned. More plastic in our environment!

Why are people so fixated on how much they spend on presents for their DGC?

I doubt if the children unwrap presents with a calculator at hand to work out how much each present cost. The little ones will neither know nor care, the older ones should be able to understand that you are on a restricted income and appreciate that whatever they receive is given with love.

One of my DGM was on a very tight income. I loved her totally and the last thing I did was tally the cost of her present and compare it with what I received from my other, better off grandparents. I was much more concerned about making my pocket money stretch to a present for her.

sarahellenwhitney, I found your post embarrassing. I am sure Bopeep is already spending carefully. Her problem, from everything she says, is lack of money, not extravagant spending

If you are struggling and making a teabag last two cups, being told to cut back on champagne is not helpful.

Totally understand you worrying I work full time I'm over 60 but feel money is a worry and though I manage to keep my head above water Christmas is a big worry more than half of my wage goes on rent and council tax so after bills I have nothing left for extras I must admit I look at others not working and sometimes think I'm no better off by working

Hi Bopeep.
Go online and look at the Martin Lewis website. It is full of ideas and suggestions for people worrying about the cost of Christmas. I have just read it and it has some absolutely brilliant ideas.

Stella must have gone out to buy ?

TellNo1OK
I use an app called money control. There are quite a few different ones available and most of them are free but give you an option to upgrade which you have to pay for.
Hope this helps

My best suggestion is, if possible, to put £1 a day into a tin and do not touch it for any reason and the by next Christmas you will have at least £365 to put towards Christmas.

Stella1949....what app is that? I’d like to download it!

Bopeep14. Look around to observe where your money goes.What can you do without.? You have made a start with your Tv viewing needs.Does your washing machine do economy wash?Only iron what is necessary What do you spend on food and do you use your own car to go shopping.Look on the internet to see what retailers have on special and some give free delivery on a certain spend. Presents need more thought. Do you not save a small amount throughout the year in a savings account which gives interest ?.Even the smallest amount is better than nothing.Can you save on your gas and electric bills. How many lights do you need on at the same time?.Wear more clothes instead of turning up your heating. Nothing happens overnight, &, instead of worrying use your energy on positive thinking and that you can improve your financial situation with a bit of thought.

Buy books from Amazon and bulk buy light bulbs in 10s/12s from Amazon or eBay, fuses too and sheets of tissue for wrapping presents. There are lots of ways to cut costs.

*missing ? and no 'get.

Tillybelle
Would it be cheaper to buy a senior Rail card. You can get buy them for half price with Tesco Clubcard points. For me to drive my rarely used car to mid Wales costs £150 return (according to the AA and my car manual) and takes about 4.5hrs so I bought a split train ticket using my rail card for £50.18p rtn, with reserved seating and choice of departure times. It took longer but worth the saving and no traffic jams or worry.

When i first married i had a tin that i used to put money in for the bills, in those days we got paid weekly, what was left over we used on food. We had no luxurys then,no car ,mobile phone, sky tv etc i think i was much less stressed about money then i am sure. I know the grandchildren would not be particularly bothered about what we bought them, after all they get lots of things at christmas from other grandparents who are much more better off than us. We spend more on them for there birthdays as this is there day.

If you were over 60 in Sept 2009 you can claim the Winter fuel allowance of £200 and if you have anyone living with you who is over 80, that rises to £300, so there is no need to wear coats indoors.

The most logical idea to me would be to cut Christmas back to an enjoyable event that you can afford.
If everyone has a warm bed, running water and some food then there really isn't anything they need.
Not enough to cause angst, anyway.

Money worries? Yes. I have a very limited income so spend little, if any, money on myself. However, I feel I have all I need so being frugal now so I can put by a little for treats, like Christmas, is sensible planning.

I have friends who spend lots of hair-dos, manicures, pedicures, spa days, new cars etc. I don't even go to the dentist unless I am in pain. I am terrified of getting into debt, so if I don't have the cash to pay for goods or services I wait or go without.

I am splashing out on a lovely family Christmas - it will drain the small savings pot, (and the car needs a service in January) but I am worth it. I have worked hard all my life in very difficult circumstances.

I don't understand people who don't dip into their even meagre savings. You cannot take it with you.

However, being without any sort of back up or safety net is terrifying. I have been there.

I'd suggest examining where your money goes. Mine goes mainly on necessities and bills but I have learnt to cut corners, budget and find alternatives to pricey treats. I do sympathise though. A small income doesn't allow much, if any, wriggle room.

Tillybelle its awful isnt it, so sorry you are in the situation that you have to wear a coat inside. I bought my mum a slanket a couple of years ago she doesnt use her heating a lot and says the slanket is really warm and cosy. She also uses those halogen heaters swears they are more economical than using her heating all the time, not sure if this is right ir not but they are quite reasonably priced.

Tillybelle you sound desperate. Every sympathy
But where on earth are you driving to?
My car is not particularly economical but I can do 2 round trips each of 150 miles to visit DD1 plus an other 50 miles and back again to visit DDs 2 and 3 on a very little more than a tankful about £60 + ish
I reckon I could get to my patents' old home in Scotland on just over a tankful

Bopeep14. Me too. Keeps me awake. Christmas is awful. My children say don't buy us and the GC anything and that makes me feel worse. I have tried to make home made things for them. The DGC are very sweet about having very small presents like inexpensive books. The worst thing now is that to meet up with my DC I have to travel a long way and it's about £200 in petrol. This year my daughters gave me money towards the petrol. Now I'm crying again because of this. I used to give them money. I feel so awful about this situation.
Does anyone else wear their coat indoors like me? I can't afford to put the heating on.

Thanks for all your suggestions i only buy for our grand children and inherited grandchildren but there are a lot of them only spend around £30.00 on each of them but with the birthdays in November and December as well i always find it a very expensive, time of year. We have literally cut our expenses to the bone over the last year, just waiting until january and then i can cancel our only luxury sky tv and change to freeview.

Some years ago when I was a single mum money was really tight. Christmas was always aworry for me but I never let it spoil Christmas for myself or my two girls. So, I used to buy up bits and pieces throughout the year - bargains when I came across them (I have a great eye for a bargain) sales were another good one and charity shops often sell “new” goods too and I also did an Avon round and instead of getting my commission in money I would use it to but up gifts. This was all on top of me working 7 days a week just to keep our head above water.

Come Christmas and Birthdays I always had something in my goodie box that was just right for someone.

I couldn’t have done it any other way