I have step-children but their late father, the man I married, had full custody of the children when he divorced as the ex-wife signed a court paper to the effect that " she didn't want her children ", so my situation was plain sailing. At least the children didn't go through a tug-of-war or visiting rights scenario and were pleasantly well-balanced individuals 9 and 7 at the time. They'd preferred their father anyway and the mother completely ignored them for the rest of their lives----no Birthday or Christmas cards.
When you marry in a situation where there are children, you automatically take those children on, be it either with the mother or father. It depends who was granted custody and the type of visiting arrangements that followed.
Under the circumstances I didn't have to apply to look after the children as I'd married their father so became part of their family.
I can understand that there could be hostilities where one parent disagrees an involvement of a new partner but unless there is proof of violence/abuse I can't see a problem.
To be quite honest, I don't know how a woman can abandon her children anyway and this thought stuck in my throat for years and upset me greatly at times especially when I sent them to school I felt as though I was " getting rid of them ". I probably should have had counselling all those years ago but nothing like that existed, you had to get on with things.
They loved their two half-sisters though and still do, nearly 60 years on.
