My mother in Law is 103, widowed and has a daughter who has lived in Spain for the past 35 years. She also has a granddaughter (in her 50’s) plus my husband and I, 74 and 77 respectively. She has only one living sibling who is 101!
A few years ago my DH and I suggested that MIL appoint one of us as Power of Attorney but SIL said that as MIL was compis mentis she didn’t need one (wrong!) and persuaded her she shouldn’t do it. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. It should have been done then because in the ensuing years I have become very ill and have a terminal diagnosis. I can be treated but sooner or later my options will run out (myeloma).
My DH has been caring for me since I was discharged after nine months in hospital and has been run ragged. His sister is aware of our situation but today she rang DH and said she is in the Uk and wants my DH to apply for POA as she ‘lives in Spain and can’t do it,’ DH is not happy because if this had been sorted a few years ago we wouldn’t have arrived at this situation. DH asked sister if her daughter (MIL,s granddaughter) could involved and apparently she doesn’t want the responsibility.
DH is very stressed about all this. Since our marriage I have sorted all the home finances and admin and, frankly, he is not capable of taking on a POA and possibly being responsible for selling his mothers house.
Should we advise sister in law to put it in the hands of a solicitor. MIL has the means to pay - although I can’t see her wanting to. According to sister in law her mum is almost blind and very frail. I haven’t been able to see MIL for several months due to my ill health but my son went to see her just yesterday and says she is a bit frail (who wouldn’t be at 103.!) but she doesn’t want to go in a home - which I think sister in law wants her to do. She has carers come in every day, meals on wheels and wonderful neighbours who constantly check on her plus quite a few visitors.
Sorry for all the personal details but I am very worried about all this. I had a brain tumour last year and my thinking is not as sharp and maybe not as rational as it was before my illness.
In the circumstances would it be advisable to involve a solicitor if MIL agrees?
Thank you for reading my missive