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Legal, pensions and money

Unfair Will

(120 Posts)
grapefruitpip Thu 03-Oct-19 14:19:06

I can't say too much about the details but lets just say I have been stitched up like the proverbial kipper by my mother and another family member.

Has anybody else any experience of this type of hurt?

H1954 Sat 08-Feb-20 17:11:30

My ex was stitched up by his manipulative sister and his father. At the time I was a tad annoyed but after the way he eventually treated me I now look upon it as karma.

aljocookie Sat 08-Feb-20 17:07:41

I’m an adult, independent and work. However if my mother or father left everything to my sister then I would be very hurt, angry and upset . The parent should know full well what grief and upset this will cause after they have passed and act fairly to each of their children . I can completely understand the shock and upset and the unfair situation .

grapefruitpip Thu 10-Oct-19 08:23:04

My sibling clearly feels very entitled. My parents were not as you described PR.

Peonyrose Thu 10-Oct-19 04:10:41

Without going into detail, I never benefited from my parents will. However, I aways felt loved by them and they loved me and so it never troubled me, it wasn't my money, they had earnt it and could do what they wanted with it. No one should feel entitled.

paddyann Tue 08-Oct-19 12:31:28

that of course is the problemJaxie its not a "rightful inheritance" its only left if the deceased decides to leave it ....No one has the right to anything ,so shouldn't expect it.If you do get something then its a nice surprise and a bonus.You wont be bitter or disappointed if you dont .

Jaxie Tue 08-Oct-19 09:57:08

Money brings the worst out in people; better, as another poster advises, not to have any expectations of inheritance. We all know of the family upsets which were a result of fractured relationships during WW2. My mother- in- law adopted her nephew, a badly neglected 18 month- old, whose mother had been tarting around while her husband served overseas. His father subsequently married again. He and his second wife had no children. He died, leaving no provision for his son in his will. When she died she left nothing at all to her deceased husband's son, nor to the branch of the family who had saved him from a childrens' home: everything went to some wealthy cousins of the son who had spent years sucking up to her. What a way to be remembered. How could these people benefit knowing that their adopted cousin was actually in need of his rightful inheritance? I despise them.

varian Sun 06-Oct-19 12:00:41

Unfortunately it does not seem to be as simple as that. Have any GNetters had to deal with a similar problem?

EllanVannin Sun 06-Oct-19 11:46:56

Get another executor ? Or a solicitor to step in.

varian Sun 06-Oct-19 11:34:45

You cannot move on if an executor refuses to execute the will.

EllanVannin Sun 06-Oct-19 10:05:53

At least with Wills, you can move on ! Whether in your favour or not.

EllanVannin Sun 06-Oct-19 10:04:31

Intestacy is far worse where law has it that blood relatives are the first considered recipients of a deceased person's estate, regardless of whether they ever had anything to do with the deceased in any way, leaving carers, who are still family but not in the order of age/position to the deceased, literally shell-shocked.

EllanVannin Sun 06-Oct-19 09:56:48

The worst time of all is when there isn't a Will !!

varian Sun 06-Oct-19 08:55:53

Has anyone ever succeded in removing an executor who still refuses to allow a will to be settled several years after the grant of probate?

Oopsminty Sat 05-Oct-19 17:46:09

I have to agree that it's not just about being left anything in wills. I always lived my life thinking I'd get nothing and anything would be a bonus.

However a very good friend of mine had come out as gay many years ago. HIs family hadn't taken it particularly well. Not an outright disowning but it was a very tricky time.

When this chap's father died he discovered that he'd been totally written out of the will.

He wasn't concerned about money or property, it was just the utter shock at being written out of his will. I don't think he's ever really got over it

Pinkrinse Sat 05-Oct-19 17:38:55

Yes I was stitched up by mother and sister who was instrumental in getting mum and dad to change their wills and leave everything to her. The worse thing as far as I was concerned is no one had the courage to talk t me about what they were doing and why. I not found out afte both mum and dad died. Needless to say I have nothing to do with my sister now.

MaryFinn Sat 05-Oct-19 15:03:09

My ex was stitched up by his brother and sister. He was supposed to have a legacy out of his mum's estate when she died. He got nothing. They both inherited a house worth a great deal of money which they are now renting out at a high rent. Because of all of this there has been no contact for about 14 years.

TillyWhiz Sat 05-Oct-19 10:25:30

This thread is so sad. It beggars belief that relatives can act despicably at a time of grief. It has happened to me. A relative laid claim to my DH's tool collection despite his will leaving everything to me. When he was ignored, he told others that I am 'too independent and too obstinate'. Yes mate, and I have your worth now!

annsixty Sat 05-Oct-19 10:10:53

When I made my will very recently after my H's death my solicitor advised me to tell the 3 main beneficiaries of my decisions.
She referred to it as managing expectations.
I did and have upset one hugely as he doesn't think one should be left as much.
I have simply said ,my money, my decision.
I will not talk about it again but I feel it is better to know now than later.
I have also pointed out that if I need care the money will go for that, so don't plan to be spending it all.

Shropshirelass Sat 05-Oct-19 09:11:10

If you have not been left anything you can challenge a will if you think something underhand has gone on.

grapefruitpip Sat 05-Oct-19 08:37:21

The point is , if you are comfortably off you can shrug your shoulders and say " it's only money".

Of course nobody here knows me, but I had mentally earmarked some of the funds for my own children.

To find out scheming and plotting has been going on for years and you were trusting, is a blow. Had things been left alone, it would have been a simple 50/50 split, the irony being I would have " donated" some of mine to the sibling .

Anyway Gabriella, you know you are right about all things all the time, so there we have it.

mokryna Sat 05-Oct-19 08:24:11

Here in France, there is a law that you cannot disinherit your blood line. However it can be done, with the person who receives the inheritance having a heavy tax bill on the sum involved.

GabriellaG54 Sat 05-Oct-19 03:49:29

Eloethan
Holier than thou doesn't come into it.
My father died aged 45 and mum then had to find a job as his bank account was frozen for almost 12 months.
We had no help from his relatives.
I earned any money I now have and make it work for me.
Mum left nothing as she had my youngest brother to care for who was 3 when dad died.
No inheritance and I never expected there would be, so put your ideas about my supposed holier than thou attitude where the sun....
Everyone on here is entitled to put their views, regardless of whether they have or have not inherited or feel that they have been cheated out of a bequest.

GabriellaG54 Sat 05-Oct-19 03:35:57

endre123
sadflowers

endre123 Sat 05-Oct-19 01:47:38

GabriellaG54
Absolutely true. It was very hard to recount it again. I was heartbroken and no longer speak to them and don't wish to.

Evie64 Fri 04-Oct-19 23:02:07

Very very sad, and I know from similar experience in my own family. I always say "You can choose your friends, you can't choose your family". So true