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Legal & money

Unfair Will

(119 Posts)
grapefruitpip Thu 03-Oct-19 14:19:06

I can't say too much about the details but lets just say I have been stitched up like the proverbial kipper by my mother and another family member.

Has anybody else any experience of this type of hurt?

love0c Thu 03-Oct-19 14:39:49

Yes. My sister and mother treated my father in a vile way. Sister got parents to sign their house over to her whilst still alive. My dad was manipulated into doing this. He was a very vulnerable and sensitive man. He got cancer and needed an operation. My mother and sister talked him out of it so he then had to let nature take its course. My sister just wanted the money and my mother didn't want to have to look after him The doctor actually took me aside on a rare time I was able to sneak into see my dad. They asked why my mother and sister didn't want him to have the operation. My dad knew the end was coming and informed me what my mother and sister had done. He told me he had only one daughter and that was me. He said I had to get on with my life and that he loved me very much. My dad said my mother threatened to kill herself if he told me and then he wouldn't have anybody to look after him. Dad told me he was no longer bothered what happened to him. He just wanted me to know before he died. H died three weeks later. It took years to get over but the scars are still there and will be there till the day I die. When I see the wicked and evil things people do to strangers, I am no longer surprised. I have witnessed first hand what one's own flesh and blood can do to each other.

gillybob Thu 03-Oct-19 14:46:56

Oh crikey yes with bells on grapefruitpip well not me but my DH who was well and truly stitched up by his brother and witch of a sister.

That's awful love0c sad

Namsnanny Thu 03-Oct-19 14:51:51

Love0c ....The situation you have described is so similar to my own!
I’ve feared to repeat it to anyone except my husband who witnessed the behaviour also...and saw the truth for himself.
It was more covert than you describe, but equally as deadly.
I’m so glad you posted but sad that you and your dad went through thisflowers

Namsnanny Thu 03-Oct-19 14:54:53

Grapefruitpip ...I’m sorry your going through this. I have no real advice...people are sh1ts sometimes! flowers

Hetty58 Thu 03-Oct-19 15:02:49

grapefruitpip, a will can sometimes be challenged. If it seems that the will writer was unduly influenced by a potential beneficiary and/or if somebody is left out there may be a case:

phoenix Thu 03-Oct-19 15:21:34


As mentioned in previous posts, my mother really did the dirty on me.

love0c that is so, so sad. flowers

GabriellaG54 Thu 03-Oct-19 15:25:35

Look after yourself and make your own provision for later life.
Don't expect to be the beneficiary of anyone's will, it causes anger, hate, and deep divisions between family members, hurts that never heal.

Let them have it and enjoy your own life.

grapefruitpip Thu 03-Oct-19 15:56:50

Thank you all for your advice. Yes Gabriella, indeed it is a person's responsibility to look after themselves and any good fortune is a bonus.

It is rather galling to see someone else conive and scheme to claim what was intended for myself and my family.

love0c Thu 03-Oct-19 16:07:18

It was never about the money for me. It was about the utter betrayal of my mother and sister. Finding out at 40 years of age that your whole life has been based on a lie.

gillybob Thu 03-Oct-19 16:11:05

Same here love0c my DH was taken advantage of by his brother and sister when he was very ill, he had not seen either of them for many years, but they sniffed the money out from miles away.

grapefruitpip Thu 03-Oct-19 16:11:57

Yes love and gilly. It's not about greed or grasping for funds, it's about betrayal.

HildaW Thu 03-Oct-19 16:12:36

Yup, pooped on from a great height by Father - but at least it was all of his children. We were upset that he could not even think of his grandchildren - just wanted to make a point from beyond the grave.

Hetty58 Thu 03-Oct-19 16:12:45

Gabriella, I see your point but it gets complicated when your children don't receive what they were meant to and others get 'extra' instead.

GabriellaG54 Thu 03-Oct-19 16:28:10

I understand some GNers frustrations, anger and feelings of betrayal within their respective families.
What I don't understand is people letting it colour their lives for decades.
If my parents had left my sister and brothers gold, silver and jewels galore but nothing to me (none of us were left anything anyway) it wouldn't have bothered me in the slightest.
I'm an adult and able to earn my own money.
Too little and too much can be corrosive.
Jealousy, over one getting more than the other, sounds the death knell over a relationship which can never be resurrected.

wicklowwinnie Thu 03-Oct-19 16:28:12

Worst enemies seem to be close blood relations. A sister had a lover for almost her entire marriage. Her husband predeceased her and when she became terminally ill she told her children and grandchildren absolutely dreadful lies about her brothers and sisters, plus her own father. This was to make sure nothing got back to her family about her past. This was many years ago and we have all been cut out their lives completely.

Hetty58 Thu 03-Oct-19 16:34:03

It's truly shocking when you finally see your beloved family members for who they really are (usually when someone's ill, elderly or dying). Spoilt, entitled, lazy, scheming, lying, self-indulgent, money-grabbing, deceitful, spiteful etc. (I could go on and on)!

By contrast, thank Heavens, your friends love you just for who you are - and not because they want your money!

Hetty58 Thu 03-Oct-19 16:42:18

Gabriella, for me, it's not about who was left what. I really couldn't care a fig and anyway, officially, it was fair shares. It's about principles and somebody plotting to grab extra and deceiving/manipulating/brainwashing a frail, needy, confused and elderly relative to gain just that. Unforgivable behaviour! Actions really do speak louder than words.

moggie57 Thu 03-Oct-19 16:50:39

you cant choose your family .but you can choose friends. know any finger sign language?

gillybob Thu 03-Oct-19 17:31:07

I agree with you Hetti it is about the deceit more than anything . In the end my DH signed away his rights to everything . He has never regretted his decision but it broke his relationships with his family .

grapefruitpip Thu 03-Oct-19 17:33:20

The money is a legacy , something for future generations.

or not.

sodapop Thu 03-Oct-19 17:47:03

Any inheritance is thoughtful gift to be treasured or spent as you wish. The hurt comes as others have said when there is deceit and manipulation amongst family members.
When I was nursing I saw many cases of relatives coming out of the woodwork in the hope of gaining. I have seen wedding rings removed and even dentures ( many years ago) so sad.

GillT57 Thu 03-Oct-19 18:53:00

Such sad stories. It is not about financial gain, about money, it is about witnessing disgusting behaviour from family, from people who share your DNA, who are supposed to love you, but love money instead. It is a chilling discovery.

gillybob Thu 03-Oct-19 18:55:40

It is indeed GillT57 sad

How could anyone even begin to enjoy an inheritance knowing they had cheated a member of their own family out of their fair share ? It’s beyond me .

Coolgran65 Thu 03-Oct-19 19:04:09

Exactly what GillT57 has said.

Gabriell54 Jewels and riches don't come ito it. It's about realising that those you thought cared for you, did not care. Or were manipulated during their last days.