Cannot get him to leave

Don’t start charging him rent, just move him out and change the locks. Then tell him to send you a bill for his expenses and you can pay him if you feel you want to.

Esspee said that there is no free half hour from solicitors. I have found that most will give helpful advice over the phone. Citizens Advice is mentioned a lot and I wonder if it has changed, as in the past, they would only give a list of local solicitors for legal advice and would also only help people on a low income.

A friend of mine saw a solicitor about her now ex husband who wouldn't leave and was told she couldn't change the locks or do anything to obstruct his access to their house even though she'd had the police remove him from the house when he was threatening. She decided to move into rented accommodation when he came home and wait for the divorce courts to make their decision. He promptly changed the locks denying her access and the legal beagles all just shrugged their shoulders, said he shouldn't have done it and that was that!
There is no such thing as a "Common Law" wife or husband. Please see the following link: www.porterdodson.co.uk/blog/the-myth-of-common-law-marriage
My advice would be to get a letter from a solicitor asking your partner to leave. You will probably find that will do the trick as it sounds like this man is a bully who will try to cow you but can't do that to the legal system! If you ask him to leave and he cuts up rough, just ring the police and they will suggest he goes elsewhere.
As the sole owner, you are entitled to change the locks on your house without recourse to anyone else. If he tries to break back in, he is committing an offence. The most he could do is take you to court to prove right of implied ownership in that he has paid for improvements but HE HAS TO PROVE THAT WAS YOUR INTENTION. Presumably, you agreed to him paying the bills in return for housekeeping, not ownership of the house. Similarly, you would both enjoy the benefits of the improvements whilst you were living there, not because you were implying ownership. The distinction is absolutely critical so I would not cloud the issue with offers of repayment at this stage but if you do see a solicitor, ensure that you make it quite clear what your intentions were.

Give yourself a Christmas present and sort it all out as soon as possible ( though I know nothing in the legal profession moves very fast!). Tell him you are seeking legal advice. As soon as you officially start the ball rolling he will see you mean it and start realising he has to find alternative accommodation and tell you the amount of money he thinks you owe him. He’ll probably need it for deposit on a rented accommodation. Love yourself and set yourself a date in the very near future when you want this to be over with. I am always prevaricating with decisions but if I set myself a date I find things move forward faster.

Have you any large young male friends with a van? Kick him out he is being abusive.

Only one thing to do and asap! Get legal advice and take action..

Please can all those who have posted about chucking him out and changing the locks say if they would be saying the same if Nickysmadhouse was a man who owned the house? I know I woud be saying exactly the same.

You're not going to get him out by asking nicely, he is too happy where he is with you looking after him. You are not married and his name is not on the deeds.
Being nice will get you nowhere believe me I know.
Just bag up his stuff and leave it outside then change the locks - not forgetting the back door.
It is then up to him what he does.
I agree that finding out where you legally stand id important, I was advised to say I felt threatened so that is why I changed the locks.
You owe him nothing.
Alternatively you could sell the house without telling him then move out, that would be another solution.
Good luck and don't let yourself be bullied by anyone.
S

Unfortunately Stella14 he would have a legal right to gain entry by force if that is classed as his residence. I find it very odd that someone in such distress isn't prepared to take a financial hit to get rid of someone. Surely you can't put a price on peace of mind and if it costs you a bit to get your life back wouldn't you just pay up?

Hi Nicky. I have been in exactly the same situation as you. I owned my home outright and he refused to leave. He was sleeping in the spare room and just ignored the situation between us. I ended up completely ignoring him and stopped doing anything for him, i.e. meals, laundry etc. and started charging him rent. He eventually got the message and left, but it was a very stressful time. Looking back, I think I should have just packed his bags and changed the locks while he was at work. It would have been a lot quicker and for the price of a bit of ranting, it would all have been over in a quarter of the time. By the way, all his threats of taking me to court for a share of the property came to nothing - all just hot air and bluff.
Good luck

I wish people would read the thread through.
Most replies have advised getting advice from a solicitor who offers a free half- hour initial consultation (not saying this is universal) and/or CAB, but recognising that service is overstretched so may involve a wait.
It probably is not advisable at this stage to change the locks/put his belongings on the doorstep/involve the police as this will almost certainly prejudice OP’s position as well as (possibly) making her personal situation vis-à-vis the BF much more difficult.
If OP want to do it properly she needs to know where she stands.
Putting in writing that she wants him to leave and asking (in writing) for his figure for money he has put into the house eg for the bathroom etc gives her solicitor something to start with.
Keeping calm is only going to help her to achieve what she wants.

Solicitors advice ASAP as others have said!

I would put something in writing, email it if you can, so there is a record, and state that he must pay rent from 1st December. You can make it high end of reasonable for your area. You can state that the bills will be shared, or included, up to you. That way he has to decide whether to stay as your lodger or leave. I would also provide a tenancy agreement that states that you live in the house, you are renting him a room only and that you are entitled to give him 30 days notice.
At least that way you will have some money coming in (if he pays) that you can offset against what you owe him for the bathroom and kitchen. Of course, he would have to provide proof that he did buy stuff, did the work, improved it and more specifically that you asked him to. If he just wanted his lodgings to be nicer for his own benefit, then that is nothing to do with you.
From a sensible viewpoint I think it would be fair to pay something towards the costs, perhaps you pay for the materials as he did the labour for free.
He was gaining as well as you by putting a new bathroom and kitchen in, and seeing as he was paying no rent, I think it was fair that he bought and fitted those items in return.
You each paid half the bills, which is fair if you both live there.
But from now on I would formalise it.

You MUST get legal advice. Many solicitors will give a 30 minutes free consultation, which would help you initially. It’s your house, so I would imagine the law would (should) be on your side.

Unfortunately, the Police will not remove him unless there is a breach of the peace (if you call them in a row and say you are being verbally abused, they would usually find that enough). Otherwise, you have to get an injunction from court If it was me, I’d take a short cut. When he is out, whether the Police have removed him or for any other reason, I would get the locks changed (pay extra for a rapid service), quickly throw his stuff into black bags and/or any suitcases he owns, put them outside the house and simply don’t let him back in. Job done!

nanamac77 i have an appointment with the CAB with half hour solicitor so should be more informed then, thank you.

And thank you all, i really want to sort things as calmly and maturely and cost effectively as possible, i honestly dont think i have a battle in me!

I really do wish id have spoken to myself 3 years ago!

Not good advice there Davidhs Legal advice is a necessity, whatever we feel are the moral rights and wrongs this is not the law. Talk to a solicitor Nickysmadhouse spending some money on advice now may save you a whole lot of trouble and money later.
I hope you get things sorted out without too much hassle. Good luck.

I admit to fast forwarding to the end of all the messages - but of the ones I read, I saw no mention of the Citizen's Advice Bureau. They should be able to advise you what steps to take, and maybe recommend a solicitor too.
Apologies if I'm repeating what has already been said.

There is a difference between rights to an interest in the property and rights to live in a place. Even a couple who own the house in equal shares sometimes one of them will be ordered by court to leave and the other will have the sole right to live there. This is definitely a legal situation that needs to have good legal advice.

Hasn't this been on before?? i think we all advised to see a solicitor?

As soon as he’s hollering at the door - call the police and tell them you’re scared of him - which isn’t unfair - you wouldn’t want to be alone with him in the house after that!
It is Your house and he’s trying to get ££from you - he’s playing dirty, you need to do the same.

As others have said, you need legal advice as soon as possible. There have been cases where work carried out by someone living in the property has been enough for them to acquire an equitable interest in the property but it will vary on a case by case basis depending on how much work was done, what the understanding was, how long the relationship etc.
Be careful that you are not inadvertently agreeing to something that gives him more rights.

As far as his ‘rights’ once he legally gets those you’re in more trouble if he’s still there - if you don’t want him claiming half of your home (esp because you let him have bills in his name in your home) then get him out before you are legally told you can’t!
Change the locks and all the bills as soon as he’s next out - do it!
He will have a harder time claiming if he’s not living there.

Until you get your face to face advice - this link is to the CAB online advice guide - I would start with the family tab. All my sympathy for the horrible position you are in. www.citizensadvice.org.uk/

Davidhs. That’s not how it works.