Cannot get him to leave

I am afraid if he can show that was his home, the police will have the power to help him gain entry. That's what they told me.

I don’t understand why you’re being so accommodating?
It’s your house - and he WONT leave and shouts at you?
Of course you should gather his stuff and change the locks, tell him to invoice you for what he believes is owed and if he does this then produce an invoice for rent, and pay the balance - I bet there won’t BE a balance - you also need to deduct an amount, I would suggest 25% for the kitchen and bathroom and fridge as I presume he did use them?
You can’t resolve this unless you get a big tougher.

NB this man had paid nothing towards the household expenses, he had rights simply by it being where he had lived for some time.

Unfortunately the house has become his only home and he does have rights that prevent you just demanding he leaves. There will be a way to go about it, but it's not simple. When I was in a similar situation it took a few large men to stand there while I asked him again to leave, and when later he came back and tried to insist I let him back in, the police only agreed to escort him off the property because by then he'd rented a room and that was now his official residence.

Nicky. Don’t waste money on solicitors, just tell him you’re going to balance board and lodging against the improvements he’s done, change the locks and kick him out.
Let him chase you for any compensation he thinks he is due.

Pretty much the exact same thing happened to m!. In the end my son in law dealt with the situation, not quite physically but ex was not man enough to stand up to him. The whole affair was very distressing and ended up with me having a break down 2 years later. Please make a stand and get your life back!

Yes Nightsky2 its called control.

And i know how much the bills are i sort them each review.

The refits were done in bits and pieces, to several different trades. You know im sure, £100 here, £3k there.

But thanks for your belittling input

Surely you must have a pretty good idea how much your partner has spent on the house, your house. We all know, or have a good idea how much it costs to run a house. Gas, electric, council tax etc.,. It’s a rather strange arrangement you’ve had, your house but partner pays for everything including new bathroom, kitchen, the two most expensive rooms to refit. You working only part time and him full time.

You will need a very good solicitor but it’s my opening that your partner is owed a share in your house and of course he too will get legal advise.

Thank you all for your help and support, it means alot. i will get sorted. and as dramatic as this sounds i have felt the only way to be free of him (and i have told him this) is if i were dead.
So, please, some of you, try and think of your words and tone before you post.

Yes, gone past that stage now... i have previously asked but he wouldnt.
I am sorting bills now, good timing too as annual reviews due

What a horrid situation. I would certainly get legal advice and then, as another poster suggested, change the locks. When you have done that, will it be possible for you to have a night or two away to have a breather and foil him if he calls to make a nuisance. Good Luck.

We have lived together for 3 years. The other 6 was merely ‘dating’ i would class, as i lived 1 and half hours from him up until January 2017

Best advice is to speak to your solicitor. And Id change the bills that he does pay into your name asap. And solicitor will advise on all of that.

Would couple therapy help or has it gone past that stage?

Good luck with all.

The thing is, he says that he has done x y z to the house but let's face it, wasn't as if he did the work and the lived somewhere else - he has had the benefit of the improvements that he did, as well as the use of the utilities he has paid for!
He must put in writing what he thinks he is owed. This you can take to a solicitor.

As others have said advice from a solicitor. Don't threaten to charge him rent if you want him to leave, but get the bills transferred into your name, if necessary by opting to go with new suppliers.. Depending on the length of your relationship and the amount he has spent on your property he may be entitled to something but it probably won't be a huge amount. A solicitor can also advice you on how to remove him from the property if he won't leave voluntarily.

This is a difficult one because depending on how long you have been together . Depending on how long you have been together he could be class as your common law husband . Then you could be in some sticky water . You need to see a solicitor before he does . Good luck .

Many people keep suggesting to pay for half of the bills he has paid over the years, but surely he would have had to pay his bills wherever he was living! I wouldn't think it fair to have to pay for living costs that he would have had even when living by himself. As to the home improvements, that's a different matter altogether.

I left my husband 30 years ago due to abusive behaviour, and the mortgage company came after me for half the mortgage repayments even after the divorce had come through because it was very difficult to get my name off the deeds. I was happy for him to keep the house just to be able to get away from an abusive relationship. Maybe I should have claimed for all sorts of input I made to the house over the years we were married! Instead, I should have carried on contributing to his home. You couldn't make it up, could you!

Don't see it mentioned, but where was he living prior to moving in with you > i.e. did he own his own property/or was he divorced, and therefore with a right to some of the proceeds of the sale of that property ? or was he renting elsewhere or just living with someone prior to you ? If the first case, then he should have money from the sale of that property ….which means he will be able to rent something else (although references might be a problem !). He must produce dated (not backdated) receipts for the amounts he alleges he has spent on your house. You must be able to prove he has never paid you any rent …..he may argue this, but then if so he should show bank statements showing transfers or some proof if he has it (which he won't have !) Not sure about the current law of co habiting and expenses/rights . might be.. in my case some years ago I bought my house outright as I moved from an expensive area to a cheaper one ...my then fiancé said he must have a garage before he could move in and sell his house...so I said sorry, I can't afford that ...so he lent me £8,000 to build it, on the understandin that if we split up (we were intending to get married until he ran off with someone else !) he would be repaid ! However his mistake was to have nothing in writing ...at the time I suggested to him he make a legal declaration through a solicitor that he had lent me this he money so he could be repaid. He didn't. so when he left and asked me for his money he was unable to prove he had ever given it to me …....so he never got it back ! I do hope you can resolve this …...he sounds like he thinks you will simply pay up to be rid of him …..don't !!!! good luck

What about if you looked for the invoices of the bathroom and kitchen refits or contacted the companies and found out how much they cost him. Then you could sit down and work out a fair comparison on what he wants and what you think is fair and you can afford to pay him to get rid of him. Do it without him knowing then when all your ducks are in a line you can say “ right this is the amount I’m prepared to give you but I won’t be transferring it into your bank until your belongings are packed up and your ready to go”.
Off course you must seek legal advise to but please do it all without him knowing until you know where you stand.

You may not have the money, nor did I but I had to find nearly 150k to get rid of him and protesting poverty won't help as you can always raise funds even if it means selling the house. I don't think yours will be that bad as you were not married but 9 years is considered a long marriage so it would certainly constitute a serious relationship.

You owe him nothing for the updating of YOUR house as he has had the benefit of it as much as you have. Unless you signed a document to reimburse him. I've learned that from watching judge rinder on tv. I wish you luck.

Are you saying that apart from what he contributed to house improvements he should just write off the last 9 years of his life? I think most people of either sex would find that hard to swallow. All I know is when I got divorced a couple of years ago my ex claimed half the house and was awarded a quarter even though I had owned it outright for many years before meeting him. I was disabled and unable to work but fully self supporting due to my private pensions. He claimed he paid for everything which I disproved but the way judges look at it is. He lost out financially by living with me rather than getting his own place and building up equity in it. So I can see why he's not budging, he wants compensation and that's not just paying him for the home improvements.

Thankyou, i have an appointment with CAB initially, where they provide 1 half hour session with a solicitor x

Trisher i do not want to kick him out without paying him. I am more than happy to, but as i do not have a pot of money under my mattress these things take time to arrange. And i am unprepared to live in this situation longer than i need to. Thanks for your input though

Good luck Nickysmadhouse - be brave, take a free session at a solicitor where you can check things out.