Cannot get him to leave

But work out half the bills you should have paid and the amount the renovations have added to the value of your property and add a bit more if you want to be fair. If as it seems you just want to kick him out without paying, well you will just have to put up with him.

Then make him a generous offer and he'll be gone.

Working part time to take care of every household chore no, i could not afford it in my own, however i could if i worked full time, but that was not the agreement initially, i guess i could argue loss of earnings!
However thats not why i am here, i want him to have back what he’s put in, i just want an end to the nightmare we are living in - and fast, its toxic and unlivable.

Wtf?

The free half hour in not a myth. It's not an entitlement either.

THE MYTH OF THE FREE HALF HOUR

Time and time again I read threads where the advice is to see a solicitor for the free half hour of legal advice.

It is true that some solicitors/lawyers offer this but there is no requirement so please gransnetters don't offer this advice in the future.

But if the cohabitee has made any contribution to the maintenance of the property he will have a claim. You didn't answer about if you could have afforded to live there without his money Nickysmadhouse. It may be wrong to ask for a share of a property bought through an inheritance but it is equally wrong to dismiss someone who has paid the bills for you for 3 years.

There is no such thing as a common law husband. Or wife.

Please get proper advice.

He does not have a share of the property. I am more than willing to give him what he is owed for works he has paid for etc, but if i lived in a house that was primarily paid for by Inheritance i would not dream of asking for a share, whether i be a woman or man. Thank you for your input though x

I agree that he may have rights as far as a share of the house is concerned after all if you only worked part time and he was paying most of the bills could you have afforded to live there without him? I also wonder why you don't simply look at the situation and offer him a financial settlement that you consider fair? If you have lived in the house for 3 years perhaps work out half the bills for the years, add an amount for the work he has done and a small amount for his share of the property.
All those posting about throwing him out, how would you feel if this was a man posting about a woman he wanted rid of?

Just trying to see it from both sides, doesn't mean I don't sympathise.

With the upmost respect you sound just like my mum, she would have said that and more! So thank you. I know i need to just do it and follow it through x

I'm guessing he'll claim he considered himself your common law husband and therefore wouldn't be expected to pay rent. We all know common law means nothing but if he claims to all intents and purpose he considered himself married and on the surface the way bills etc were paid he might have a good argument.
Put the boot on the other foot how would us women feel after living together for 9 years just to be told it's over, thanks for your input, now leave. Dunno about you but I wouldn't be impressed.

As others have suggested, I think you should take proper advice - Citizens Advice would be a good start because, if they don't know the answers, they will point you in the right direction.

Good luck.

He has no tenancy agreement, pays no rent and has no rights. He rants because he knows that you will back down. It's time to get tough, say what you mean and get on with it!

Don't take any rent from him until you have spoken to a solicitor. If you do he could claim he is a tenant and that gives him rights to stay.

You will need to get the original receipts for his expenses and not just accept any figure he may give you.
He may well inflate his actual costs out of spite.

Grannyknot
You hit the nail on the head! Denial completely, and head burying, its sad but i myself need to get some quality of life and i really want the same for him.
I wouldnt go for back rent etc, i just say it out of frustration when he says hes paid for a new fridge after the old one packed up or the weekly shop; this is the depths we have stooped to!
Thank you x

Hi Nicky I'm not sure that he owes you "back pay" in rent, seeing that when he moved in he was not moving in as a lodger. I don't think you can go back and change that arrangement. It is clear though that you now need to draw a line at this point - seeing as that the relationship is over - and come to a new arrangement.

You seem like a reasonable person, I would just calmly tell him that the deal from now on is that he pays rent (because the relationship has broken down), and that as soon as he tells you how much the "major works" e.g. bathroom and kitchen refit cost (preferably with receipts or bank statements provided), you will come to some arrangements to reimburse him for improvements to your property and that he needs to move out.

I also think that by not giving you that figure, he is stalling, because he is in denial and can't to face up to the fact that he has to leave your house.

But of course, get legal advice. Good luck.

Thank you so much for all this info x

Link is Citizens Advice/relationships and family.

A solicitor may well suggest mediation first.

You may qualify for legal aid if there's abuse.

Women's Aid is also a good source of information.

Surely, doing a few jobs wouldn't count as he didn't pay you rent- so it was just an exchange, and still very much in his favour.

This is the situation as I understand it.

If you are not married, he would need to prove that he has contributed to the house if he wants to claim anything from you. So if he has paid to refit the bathroom, he has to prove that he has (bills etc).

If the house is in your sole name, I don't believe he has any rights to remain, unless you've agreed formally between you that he can (it doesn't sound like it).

Get a free half hour with a solicitor, or pay for one (shouldn't be that expensive).

Do some research first - CAB have good information on their public website - so that you're armed with some information before seeing someone.

I think you may be able to get some sort of injunction to get him out and to stop him coming back (although this may not be necessary - he may go of his own free will).

Awwww thank you, i too had an ex that sent me the other womans texts! We do go through it dont we!
I will try again to get him to sit down and sort things maturely.... we’ll see what happens.
Thank you again x

Actually the fact that the majority of the purchase price came from your mum as an inheritance might go in your favour. Judges are very reluctant to take away anyone's inheritance. So make sure you stress that to the solicitor. See if you can get him to sit down and draw up a realistic account of what he's spent. It's not great living with someone once you've decided to split, luckily my ex packed and left in a day but still behaved like a moron, denying their was anyone else but accidentally sending texts meant for her to me. It's short lived you'll feel a whole lot better once it's all resolved.

We’ve been together for 9 years and lived together (in this house) for three in January, it probably doesnt matter a jot, but the majority of the money for the purchase was inheritance from my Mum, so of course i do not want to hand any of that over to him.
I perhaps didnt make it clear that i am happy to give him what he’s put it - if he ever tells me how much he’s spent! by either selling up or taking on a very small mortgage, but obviously these things take time and i cant live like this until then, it has to be said that whilst he is being uncooperative i have little mind or spirit to offer a shilling!
I shall get legal advice asap and see how in the immediate future i get something drawn up and him out!
Thank you all x