Financial hardship in later life

I am sorry you are tired and sad but to have come this far you are braver than you think you are. Of course the practicalities should be sorted. The CAB is a good idea but there may be a waiting list. Asking people to help is a brave thing to do, asking again and again braver Don’t give up, stand up tall. Refuse to be diminished in spirit
If you are able to work then that surely is a positive? Health is wealth and at 60
You may have another 40 years ahead
Other people’s lives may appear to be like a M and S Xmas ad but many people would envy you your independence If you no longer have dependents then you have a greater freedom to work towards better days When you are low in spirit music and exercise cost nothing. Try walking five miles a day with your playlist on headphones every day, despite the weather Life isn’t fair. No one can have strawberry ice cream forever but this is your precious life so keep your little chin up and fight for your future happiness You deserve some better fortune soon Tell yourself the bad times are over and keep moving forward Good luck

Just a quick comment about your GP. I’m lucky to be able to manage on my income. I was a teacher and never let my situation influence my attitude towards other people’s difficulties. There were many students where I worked from families who suffered with poverty and deprivation. I hope I helped them and understood their issues even though I was in a better position myself. Try speaking to your GP. Just one very important step on the road to dealing with this unfortunate predicament.

songstress60 My career in Civil Service taught me that letters from MPs ensured action was taken and claims ( I worked in redundancy/insolvency payments) went to the top of the queue, so I strongly suggest contacting your MP. You could also contact Christians Against Poverty who help with money problems and get people debt free. I advise sending any letters to HMRC by recorded delivery. As you are doing less mileage with your car, maybe you can lower your premium? I am eagerly awaiting my state pension in a few months and would struggle if I were on my own. Also, 21 years ago I was homeless in a scattered flat so I do have some experience of hardship. Please do not be too proud to accept help or gifts from family and friends. I was given a cooker and fridge-freezer by friends from church who were moving to Germany with RAF, carpets by my parents, furniture by local charity, crockery by my friend etc. I volunteer at a Salvation Army shop. If you don't already, try your local charity shops, when they open again. Often we get donations with shop tickets still on. Post-Christmas there are often unwanted gifts too.

So sorry you have had such misfortune. Life is not fair and we are not always dealt an easy hand. I have suffered desperate poverty in the past and my circumstances have now changed. I learned to value the things in life that are free and my dear cat who gave me so much love. Money can’t buy that. You will feel free if you can let go of resentment. Wishing you all the best.

Hi, I'm retired and have a 30 year old son and 3 grandkids ages 2,5,8. Was heavily involved in raising and babysitting the first two. Son was divorced and now going through another. Apparently he didn't know how to use birth control even though we lectured over and over!!! Now at 30 he moved back in with me and his kids all are here for 5 days every other week and summers and school vacations. I'm just getting really burnt out!! I'm an introvert and like peace and quiet. I thought I would have that in retirement but now here we go again. My son pays child support and acts like he can't afford to buy a house of his own. He has never saved his money. I feel bad wanting him to move out but I feel it would be healthier all around. He only pays $450/mo rent which is nothing for where we live. What do I do to get my sanity and strength back??? Without feeling like the wicked witch!!!

My suggestions are:
Send any further letters to HMRC by recorded delivery.
Contact your MP. In my Civil Service experience MPs letters got results.
Contact Christians Against Poverty who give free help to people with financial problems.
Do not be too proud to accept any help/gifts from family and friends. When I was a single parent 21 years ago, living in council flats, I had furniture from local charity, crockery and blow up mattress from a friend and carpets from my parents. A very kind couple from my church who were moving to Germany gave me their cooker and fridge-freezer.
With lower mileage you might be able to lower your insurance cost.
I am a volunteer at Salvation Army shop and we sometimes get donations still with shop tickets. When charity shops open again you may be surprised what you can find.
I assume you have already looked for the reduced price stickers at your local supermarkets.

HMRC asked me for hundreds of pounds despite being PAYE. I wrote to my MP and she (well her staff) contacted HMRC and I had a letter telling me I didn’t have to pay. It’s well worth a try. Financial Ombudsman is free to use to sort out your loss with the bank and as others have said Stepchange is wonderful with debts and they are free to use. I wish you lots of luck and hope that you can get some solutions to ease your life. Hang in there.

Songstress, are you still there ?
what do you think ?
have a look on MN, there is a whole section on money saving tips ;
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/credit_crunch

For the record, it is possible for someone to be entitled to Pension Credit even if they are in receipt of the full state pension if they have disabilities or caring responsibilities. Please contact Age UK if you are in this position.

In addition, there are a number of benevolent trusts which are able to offer regular pensions for people struggling to manage. The easiest way is to contact Turn2Us and check on their data base alternatively if you have been or your spouse worked in any of the forces even for a day, contact SSAFA,

You say that you were not self employed and that HMRC are taking back tax for that role and if they have made a mistake you need to fight your corner. I also believe that they cannot take money from you that will leave you in hardship. As others have said you may be entitled to some housing relief (if you rent) and also Council Tax support. Contact Citizens Advice, Christians Against Poverty, Stepchange, your local Council may be able to refer you to a local Support Agency that can support you. Don't be too quick to judge your GP, and go and speak to her. If you have been scammed your Bank should be able to help you, so go back and try again. I know all this is tiresome but you do have to try.

I just wanted to say how much I sympathise with your plight. It all sounds so unjust and you do not deserve what life has dealt you. I agree with those who recommend CAB.

There but for the grace of God go we.

I would write to HMRC and tell them that the repayments are causing you Financial Hardship- use these words as they are supposed to react to this phrase. I don't know how much you owe them but it is very unlikely they would take you to court for an unpaid debt if you do not own a property as you have no assets they can reap from you.
They do write debts off, if it is not cost effective for them to follow them up i.e. if you have no assets. They will never tell you they have written it off and you might still get a couple of letters if you stop paying but then correspondance will usually stop.

My partner lost his job due to covid and can’t get ANY benefits because of my state and public sector pensions. He lives off me which isn’t ideal and wom’ get his basic state pension for a couple of years. He went bankrupt and was helped by the Salvation Army. They were wonderful and non/ judgemental. Your situation is different, I know, but they are good , kind, selfless people. Give them a go. They are excellent at application forms, legal rights, etc. In the meantime, try your doctor. You do need help to ‘let go’ and could be referred to a counsellor. Sending you hugs. X

The vast majority of people in this country cannot afford to save, and the vast majority of those people work hard for what they have. Hard work doesn't always equal comfortable living. It reads like you need a change of mindset - Urmstongran put it nicely above. Learning new skills and reading are far more fulfilling than shopping and less harmful to the planet. Maybe change your friends? HMRC is run by humans so mistakes do get made, but mistakes can also be rectified, why should you not pay the tax you owe due to a mistake?

Songstress60- have you appealed HMRC decision? This happened to me when my NHS pension wasn’t taxed at source as the paper work indicated. It took them 2 years to discover even though I was still working and paying tax via PAYE. I only found out when my tax code changed and my take home pay dropped. I found out failure of communication between NHS pensions and HMRC was at fault so appealed and won-£5,000 was written off. Sounds as though you might have a similar situation

samaritans can be such a help. even if its just someone to talk to and listen to you, they can offer practical advice to, it seems like you really need to talk to somebody and at least get it off your chest

What a lovely lot of helpful people you are with great information for Songstress who seems to have disappeared.

oh well, the ideas may help someone too shy to ask.
take care everyone.

songstress60, I really feel for you. There are lots of ladies of (should be) pension age in Facebook groups, of which I am a member. There is lots of help within the groups and it's a good place to comment and ask for advice. Try having a look at the following groups: Pension Reform Alliance, Modern Day Suffragettes, We Paid In You Pay Out. Anyone else with pension issues, have a look on the groups. songstress60, sending my best wishes to you. x

songstress60, contact stepchange.org, a debt charity, for practical help with your finances.

Try to let go of the resentment if you can. Money doesn't make people happy. It may offer some security, that's all.

From what I can see you were self employed at one time, and being on low wages were getting working tax credit, chances are that like me, you were not earning enough to pay tax, which is why they are now saying you were not self employed, so fight them, find old customers, suppliers, adverts, receipts, even bank payments/ PayPal etc for materials, prove to them you were self employed. I got stung for hundreds of pounds tax fines because I didn't send off a tax form saying I owed £0 tax. Once you have gathered the proof that you were self employed, ask for a review from tax office, but get CAB involved too. You might face fines for not filing the right tax forms, and sadly they don't accept ignorance of the rules as a defence. The fines should be less than repaying all the working tax credit. Remind them that if you hadn't been self employed you would have been on unemployment benefit and all the added benefits, so why would I have claimed to be self employed? Surely they have to prove their side, but they do try and bully people into a voluntary repayment schedule. Best wishes

I also had problems with HMRC. The month after I retired from NHS, I noticed they had paid me. I contacted the department, pointed out their mistake and the money was taken back. However, a few years later, HMRC insisted that I had not paid the Income Tax on that payment. No amount of my arguing with them or telling them what happened got me anywhere.

They insisted and in then end I agreed to pay the five pounds a month until this was paid off. Still annoys me - that I paid them tax on money I had NOT been paid!!

Due to my many years as a carer and a foster parent I did not have right to full state pension (although on the plus side - I did start to receive amount I was entitled to as soon as turned 60 yrs, even though I was working then),

When I finally retired, I had to claim Pension Credit. This brings my money up to the same amount as the State Pension - but also opens some doors to other benefit - (Council Tax relief, extra payment to my leccie supplier, free tv licence).

Holidays have never been something I have desired, prefer to go to visit my children for long weekends (in normal years). I run a small car, and find I can live reasonably well within my means.

I really feel for you, not that helps you in any way.
But goodness for the nice kind & helpful people with good advice.
Unlike people like Mooney59 if you have nothing useful to say why be unkind??? It’s cruel mean & not needed in anyway. I know someone who was in a bad financial place & because of cruel things a couple of people said she took her life! Maybe think about that before making an unneeded comment
Good luck songstress60 xx

Contact Age UK. they will have staff who specialise in the dealinbg with problems like yours. They will be able to do a comprehensive benefits check.

You could also contact your MP about the problems with HMRC, but beware he may drive a big car. To decide someone cannot help you because they drive a big car and will npot understand is ludicrous. You have no idea what your GP's background is, she couyld have grown up in grinding poverty. Remember most of the big charities and poverty reformers came from comfortable homes and were quite capable of understanding the problems of those less fortunate than themselves, which is why they did what they did: Florence Nightingale, Elizabeth Fry, Jospehine Butler.

Songstress. I think you need an appointment with your bank about £900, then if that doesn't work Ombusdman. Your cards and bus pass will have been replaced. Regarding tax owed, if it is definitely wrong, you get in touch, setting down the allowances for the years they say you owed them money, then the amount you actually paid, if there us a difference you owe it. They deal with facts and you have to put your case. Perhaps you need to see someone to decide what us correct.
I have had a huge financial loss after the death of my husband years ago, the pension we had died with him for some reason. Then I was mugged whilst shopping everything stolen, cards cash the lot. I couldn't alter any of it, so as no ones fault, I put it in the past, it's no good harbouring resentment of what others have, life isn't fair. Life is short and you enjoy the now although it's not what you expected. Everyvday there are injustices around us. Why do some of us live to a great age and children and young people die?
To hear someone say they wished their mil dead to payoff debts, that poor mil, she should change her will and leave it to charity. No one owes us. Life is as it us. I feel gratefeful to have my home and my pastimes cost little.