Moral guidance please, should we claim benefits just because we can?

Sorry bout your health problem. Your husband sounds a lovely man. However sone have suggested maybe getting a cleaner in to help him which means he will have a break n be able to spend that extra time with you. Even use it to help with the garden as he’s in his 70s from what you said and it woukd be beneficial for him. Up to you but extremely nice that you are considering not taking the allowance up as well. Hope you keep well n safe in these difficult times

If you don’t need the money fine, but if it would make a difference to making your lives a little easier such as cleaning help, or taxi’s instead relying totally on your husband doing everything. No doubt you’re both proud people but all the extra things your husband is doing may put pressure on his health so it may be worth thinking about claiming, especially if it would give you better quality time together.

I'm sorry you are going through this. . In my recent experience it is lengthy process to sort it out and if you are expected to live longer than 6 months they will not automatically give it you under the special rules. I would apply because if you do need carers at any point social services or the care agency will have been expecting you to have claimed it, if you apply now hopefully it will all sorted out and ready to go. I agree with a previous poster who said use it to pay someone to clean or go shopping for you at the moment, something that will be useful to you and your husband. He may find it reassuring to have someone sit with you whilst he goes out for an hour or so for a walk or just to get out too.

Oh do claim it as it might take some time and you might need more help later

Janet, I am so sorry to read what you are going through. As vampirequeen said above, you could claim it and then donate to your local foodbank or another charity while you feel you don't need it. Then AA is in place should the need arise in the future.

I wish you all the very best with your treatment.

I think you should claim it. Although between you you’re managing the household bits and pieces, you may be looking a many months of “managing”.

I was the sole carer for my husband in his terminal illness and I did get very tired. Not just physically but it would have been so nice not to have to cook a meal, just have one delivered or to have a taxi to the hospital.

Or to feel it as indulgence money and buy a treat. A relative sent us a full box set of a TV programme we enjoyed that gave us hours of pleasure. Something like that would be a good use of attendance allowance too.

And then it is in place if at some point you need some help with personal care.

Best wishes to you both?

Poppyred

Why don’t you use it to pay for a cleaner so that your husband doesn't have to ‘manage the extra household bits and pieces’ and can spend more time with you?

I agree with this, gives you more time together and relieves your husband.

I think if you have to have end of life care with a live in palliative carer it could cost in excess of £700 per week. You may not have to pay for this directly but indirectly the we pay for it in taxes. Why not donate the money back to the NHS.
This is something that I have witnessed by a recently widowed friend.

Deepest sympathy here. I would just say that, having filled in the attendance allowance form years ago for my late mother-in-law and every two years for my sister (in a nursing home), the form is VERY detailed. It has sections on whether you can dress and feed yourself etc. and whether you need care in the night. I think you would find you don't yet qualify.

.Hi ! so sorry to hear of your predicament ..you are doing well to consider the future. My late husband suffered from Parkinson's Disease but luckily he was not diagnosed until he was 80 and had a further 6 years....towards the end he refused all assistance and was unable to do anything for himself so I did claim AA although like you, I felt a bit mean in claiming, as neither he nor I had ever claimed anything and he was in the Navy most of his life and then representing the UK at various exhibitions around the world. The money really helped to make his life better ....and paid for some respite care when I had to be away for several days when my brother sadly died in another city 400 miles away ...and I had to go back and forth sorting his affairs. So yes (even though, ha ha I seem to recall there were about 50 pages of forms to fill in ....of course, this is necessary as proof is needed you are entitled to the money. We were awarded the higher rate of £85 per week and it certainly helped also to buy equipment to help with showering, sleeping, resting etc....so yes, do claim, and claim now .....although having said that, you have to prove you are unable to care for yourself and your level of disability is high enough to qualify ....but ring and ask if you can make a claim now for future consideration. YOu may be entitled to the lower payment at the moment, increasing as you require. Good luck with the chemo ....

I am sorry to learn of your diagnosis and wish you all the very best for the time you do have left! Like you, I was brought up to believe that you should work for everything you get. My husband and I both had good jobs - he as a Procurement Manager and me as a Senior Nurse - and a comfortable lifestyle. However, almost overnight, things changed! I fractured my spine checking a patients BP!!! Tests revealed severe osteoporosis as well as osteoarthritis. So Occupational Health forced me to take early retirement, at just 54! Shortly after that, my husband was made redundant, and then became too ill to ever work again! So we were forced to claim disability benefits, which was not what we wanted, but what we needed, as otherwise we would have ended up destitute! Personally, I would claim AA, but in the end, only you can make that choice!

I am sorry for your cancer diagnosis Janet and deeply admire the way you and your DH are getting on with life and finding enjoyment. I wish you well with future chemo.

The AA benefit is yours to draw, give a little of it to charity, save a little of it for things you may need at a later date. Spoil yourselves now with paid help for chores, buy some ready prepared meals, fresh flowers for your sitting room, DVD’s, CD’s. Most of all I wanted to say “don’t feel guilty” ??

I would definitely claim it and use it to pay for some help with cleaning and laundry etc if you're allowed to have anyone in just now ? You're husband is managing fine but I'm sure he would rather have more time to spend with you

oh for goodness sake claim it, or it will just start yet another multiple page thread (already a similar one)
it will allow you to pay for any extras such as taxis, gsomeone to mow the lawn, shop etc etc all without you having to use your usual income or savings. That is the reason for it!

JanetG - good luck first of all. Secondly, unclaimed benefits amount to hundreds of thousands of pounds, yet we still see people going without - so your thought that by not claiming you are making something available for others is not really logical. Therefore I think you should claim what is there in your name. And finally, as a psychotherapist working in a hospice I know that people have very different needs when they have a terminal illness, and you don't know yet what yours will be. There might be something that will make your life more comfortable/enjoyable - when the lockdown is over, you and hubby might want a night at the theatre
or a weekend away - your allowance is to improve the quality of your life and everyone is entitled to do that, whether or not it's already better than the next person's.

I would be inclined to agree with others that it would be better to put the claim in now, as it all takes time to process, and you could always use the money for larger projects to make both of your lives easier, and donate any excess to you local hospice or McMillan nurses for the support that you will both need later.

Could you claim but set up a direct debit for the money to go to Cancer Research or another charity close to your heart ?

Do you already get PIP?

Could be wrong, but I believe AA is a means tested benefit, and if you have more than £129 pw left after "reasonable" living expenses you won't get it.

PIP is purely based on your condition, and how it impacts on your daily life.

My understanding is that AA does not always have to be used in your care.
As someone else has said, it can be used for employing a cleaner, ironing service , or even a gardener. Any little thing that can make your life easier. There don't seem to be any restrictions on what it can be used for!
Maybe if you feel it isn't the right time to claim it now, wait and see. There might be a few things in the future, if only temporarily that would be nice to have outside help with.

You should claim. Attendance Allowance is extra money you can claim if you’re over State Pension age and need regular help with your personal care. It is non-means tested, so you can claim it whatever your income or savings. You say you are managing quite well at the moment, but that could change in the blink of an eye. If you feel somehow guilty about claiming, which you shouldn’t, perhaps consider making a donation to a charity for the less well off.

Why do people always say "they are entitled to it so they are going to have it " no matter what it is.
My ex sister-in-law is just like that.
No wonder the country is in such a state.

Janet, what a lovely lady you sound, so sorry you have to go through this but your attitude is amazing wishing you all the very best ?????????

So sorry to hear your situation. We had this dilemma when my dad was diagnosed with lung/liver cancer 6 years ago. He didn't want to claim but the home Hospice nurse explained that 'yes, he was perfectly entitled to the money (he had started work aged 14 and worked until 65, never claiming for anything during that time). She said to look upon the money to be used for taxis to hospital visits/anywhere, expensive food that he liked, meals out with my mum, books he might like to read. All to make everyday living more enjoyable, so yes, go ahead and claim and enjoy every penny. You deserve it and your husband deserves to have the benefit of the joint income you have both accrued over the years. x

Am so sorry to hear this and wishing you both well.
You have probably paid taxes for many years. It might help your husband to have some help so you can have more time together, but if you find you don’t need some or all of the money, consider donating it to a charity of your choice?
It is good of you to consider others may need it more, however the govt will have allocated a budget which if not used may be cut in future years.
?

“Will” be paid. Oops.