My elderly neighbour gets AA at lower rate. However in the last few years, she has lost her mobility, through arthritis and spinal degeneration, and simply cannot walk more than a few steps without pain and having to stop and sit down. She screams out in pain - even while sitting with her legs up, and is awaiting a knee replacement. She has various other ailments… diabetes, thyroid, high blood pressure, cellulitis, bullus Penphagoid, low immune system, high blood pressure, pressure sores… it goes on.
She has a nurse three times a week to change dressings.
Also we found out last week she has lost the sight in her eye and she didn’t realise. There’s nothing great can be done. She’s 82.
I’ve suggested she should let the DWP know she has got much worse but she won’t. Says she’s been told she may lose her AA if she has to reapply. I was thinking if she got the higher rate she could afford to hire in extra help.
She’s on her own, no-one else in the world and only has a carer for 30 mins twice a day to empty her commode and make her a sandwich. She gets a quick wash a couple of times a week. Hadn’t had a shower in years.
She’s incontinent and has to take water tablets and I’ll be honest the smell is horrendous at times. She has IBS and won’t wear pants as they take too long to get down, so sits on pads in her chair. So you can guess what happens when she doesn’t get to the commode on time. And guess who has to clean that up too when it’s down her legs, up her back and all over the carpet? ?
She needs the extra help, but won’t admit it.
I’m disabled myself and it’s absolutely killing me trying to care for her outside of carer times. I do her shopping, washing, cook meals, do her admin, gardening, take her to hospital appts etc. She had two appts last week and getting her in and out of the car, and pushing her in a wheelchair is causing more damage to me and my own damaged spine, and is impacting on my life. I spent three days in bed after, in absolute agony. It’s so draining on me and my life seems to revolve around her, which upsets my own daughter when I’m ill myself.
But… she doesn’t have anyone else in the world, and I can’t just leave her to it.
Apologies - this probably isn’t the place to spill this, but I’m truly stuck here and am at my wits end with her. She doesn’t have any friends nearby to help, and the young male neighbour who is her ‘next of kin’ (no idea why) truly couldn’t give a monkeys about her. He lives 20 steps away and she’s seen him and his wife twice since last Christmas. Surprisingly, they’ve had Covid four times since last December.. erm.. yeah. If Covid is the new excuse to not speak to her or visit they’ve got it spot on.
Please, any suggestions? No idea who to speak to next. ?