Taking control and responsibility for one's finances

Im not saying this flippantly....im 58 now I don't get 'advice from anyone....don't feel I need it....me and partner pay a share of the bills each month.....mortgage paid off 10 years ago ( over 22 years)..... saved since then .....got 2 ISAs...... got a couple of small inheritances to add to saving.....took nhs pension last year so got my lump sum.....but still do around 2 bank shifts a week ....got £5k of premium bonds .... never think about ' keeping on top of things' .........pay for gas and electric usage monthly exactly what we use.....have a joint will with partner and a family trust for my home set up .... think my finances are very very simple....they don't need much thought....I imagine its different if you have private pensions and stocks and share....then I would need to be more on the ball

I have a set amount per week for food and don't go over it and also shop for bargains if on offer. I keep heating to a minimum, subscribe only to associations I get anything out of i.e. U3A, use my bus pass whenever possible, try not to buy unnecessary clothing and mix and match what I have, borrow books from the library, cook from scratch with set meal plan, put washing machine on eco and only wash on a full load, and so it goes on. It is also well worth popping into your high street bank/building society to find the best interest rates on savings accounts, going out with friends who accept you as being thrifty and don't laugh at you because you don't eat/drink heavily, not smoke etc. It is a lifestyle rather than a penance for me as it feeds into my good health and is also good for the planet.

Well done suninthewest - you have come such a long way.
Worrying about bills is not nice so knowing what the situation is will be liberating. Something to cheer.

I find direct debits (if you know you will be able to afford them) takes a lot of the worry out of keeping on top of finance. Hasn’t been so easy of course lately as they’ve needed to be increased for gas/elec. Definitely worth signing up for Martin Lewis’ weekly e mails at MoneySavingExpert.com

LOUISA1523, you have a partner so I imagine you talk about small every day things, not getting advice but just having someone there to mull things over with makes a difference I think.

NotSpaghetti thank you, living alone I know that if anything happens to me - for example I lose my job or I become unable to work due to health there is not another person there to fall back on so it is important to watch what I am doing

Juliet27, thank you that sounds useful, I will sign up for them now

As I have been single most of my life (except for a very brief marriage) I have always had control of my own finances and never allowed anyone to interfere ot tell me what to do. Even as a very young woman (16 +) I was paid monthly by bank transfer so I never allowed my parents to know what I earned.

The woman next door has dementia and I wonder how she manages as she belongs to an ethnic group where the male usually controls the finances. She has never had a job in the last 20 years Ive lived here. Her husband died december 2021 and her children only seem to visit about every 2 weeks. In the meantime she is on her own in a 5 bedroomed house and wanders about the area in (what appear to be) her pajamas. I wonder how shes coping with the cost of living crisis and shopping, bills etc.

LRavenscroft thank you, I agree about the environment and ones own health, it sounds like you are really organised and that is how I want to be

As a child I grew up to be aware of money, it did not grow on trees and bills had to be paid before eg clothes were bought.

When married I took charge of the mortgage and all bills and have been on my own since 1988 it continues. I look around for the best saving rates for any spare money I have and I always plan ahead.

I never ignore brown envelopes and sort out problems in the house as they occur. I suppose I am interested in finance and even though I say it myself, I am good at it.

I've had 2 marriages and its just turned out so its been me managing finances. But in a regular income situation and DD's and enough to cope with present increases its not troublesome.
Never borrowed except house mortgage, cars always brought from savings.

Had a steep learning curve last year as last DH was abusive and started robbing joint accounts when the writing started being on the wall as to us ending: I encountered a great deal of surprising kindness from credit card people and banks nipping it in the bud when I 'fessed up..... Like when he used a credit card at 3am in a morning to buy loads of booze...

Lesson...dont be disempowered by not knowing enough about finances. Mind you, stuff like choosing investments (apart from ISA's, and finding ethical ones) has never been something had to manage.

Well done suninthewest. Everyone needs to get a handle on their finances, especially these days .
I well remember in my early days at Citizens Advice, an elderly lady came in, at her son’s suggestion, for help to sort out a tax refund. She brought a carrier bag of paperwork, so the first thing to do was to sort it out, by year, month, type etc, to get a proper picture. She honestly hadn’t a clue, as she had left it all to her husband but was now a widow.
A bank or building society advisor ‘s job is to make money for their organisation . Their advice is not impartial. I second the suggestion to look at Money Saving Expert website, a mine of information.

thanks Wyllow3, it is easy to get bogged down and feel overwhelmed when there are other things going on too

Cabbie21, thank you, yes thats the problem with financial advisors, I have signed up for MoneySavingExpert

I use direct debits for paying almost everything. I'm not bad at controlling my finances but do sometimes wonder if I could do better.

suninthewest Well done.
I have a lovely friend and neighbour who is a complete ostrich.
She doesn’t open post, spends money on ridiculous things then has many sleepless nights regarding her finances.
I have created spreadsheets for her (at her request) for income and outgoings but she hasn’t used it.
She unplugged her smart meter because she hated seeing the expenditure, then got a shock when her payments went up.
She won’t learn how to use the internet, will not open bank statements and the biggest sin was she didn’t bother to claim her late husbands pension!
My husband did it for her 4 years after his death.
When 6 weeks had passed after my husband claimed for her and nothing was said he asked if she had heard from the company, she announced there was an envelope sent registered post a fortnight earlier but she hadn’t opened it😬.
She was 30k better off in a lump sum and a nice monthly amount on top.
I will no longer help her as she has to take responsibility and quite frankly I’ve given up.
So I think it’s fantastic that you have taken responsibility, it’s a good feeling to be in control.
👏👏👏👏

I hadn’t a clue about my finances when married to my first husband he took charge of it as I wasn’t earning and at home with my children but after we divorced I made a promise to myself to always keep my finances in order even after my second marriage. Now I’m mortgage free and have a good grip on my finances. I search for better deals on my bills and insurances and do my best to enhance what money I have. Thankfully I don’t have money worries so many.

You’ve done well and learnt as you’ve gone along suninthewest so well done.

henetha, since paying more attention to it I have saved quite a bit of money every month by changing my house insurance company and other such things and I won’t let things just automatically renew very year now. . Was surprised at the difference

Thanks tanith, accepting the limits of what you have and making the most of what you have is much better than what I was doing before

Always sensible never to accept insurance renewals. Our building and contents renewal was £500 this year. I went into a comparison site and found Saga at £145. That is quite a saving. Loyalty these days definutely does not pay.

About 20 odd years ago a colleague taught me to use Excel spreadsheets and we already had internet banking and I have been in control of money ever since looking at my accounts daily. I do like a spend and we live well with as much heating as we need to be warm and what we need weekly from Ocado. A few extras from Waitrose a couple of times a month but not much in the way of going out. I think our golf takes up quite a bit of disposable income but it keeps us fit.

Bigbertha1 I have been wanting to get familiar with spreadsheets for a while now. Someone I know whose mother is an accountant said she told her to use them and found them good

Bigbertha1 I think anything that improves health is in the long run the best investment as illhealth potentially costs alot of money and good health brings independence for longer.