Talking to your children about finances! [shock]

My kids are all 40+ years old. If they haven’t learned to sort their finances by now, they never will 😂

are you a journalist ?

Who are you Calum?

Why would I need help with something as simple as online banking? Why would you assume my kids are better at online things than I am? You are perhaps not aware that ageism is as unacceptable as any other discrimination?

A journalist I think - see also his thread about avoiding scams.

When my sister and I were kids my mother made us budget for things we wanted. It was the late 1940s/early 1950s so very little spare money around. All the shops that sold fancy goods and toys did "christmas clubs" where you paid off the more expensive things you wanted and couldnt immediately afford. My mother would sometime say if you can save X I will put the rest to it.

Ironically my parents often argued about money - or rather the lack of it. They had some real rows when we were in bed but in a little 2 up 2down terrace you hear every word.

I cant speak for my sister but I enjoyed going into the shop each week and handing over part of my pocket money. I had a little booklet where the shop keeper wrote it down. It was probably a pain in the neck for her but I loved to see the figures add up. That was how we learned about what is now called "deferment of gratification" although my parents would never have used such a phrase.

That was how I learned to manage money. I went immediately into a monthly paid job at 16 so I had to learn how to exist on a 4 weekly cycle.

I dont have children but if I had then I would have taught them the value of saving and budgeting. I would also have made them do chores for pocket money because I believe it prepares them for the world of work. If I was a millionaire I would not "give" my children things. Rather I would give them the opportunity to earn them.

I enjoy sharing my knowledge of saving, budgeting with my grandchildren. Their parents don’t always have the time. My granddaughter now 18 has learnt a lot from me.

Hey - sorry for the confusion! I am definitely not a journalist! For context my grandmother has dementia and I have watched first hand as my dad has progressively looked after her and her finances. The family were quite reserved about talking about where/how they looked after their finances and investments so this was a steep learning curve. Since then we've been thinking about this much more pro-actively around how we can manage that information or potential transition. Personally I work in tech so I wandered whether there were any interesting solutions people use to collaborate with their grown up adult kids before it gets to needing a POA. Definitely don't mean to offend anyone - I just think there aren't many of my peers looking at this type of thing

🤣🤣🤣Good grief most of us have been looking after our own needs for ever
Is this an ageist joke ?

Not at all

I have a fire proof brief case with all my details in for life if unable to manage my own affairs or for after my death…. until then I ll continue to manage them myself
I hope my grandkids don’t worry their pretty heads about my ability to manage in later life ( I m sure they don’t )

How strange for a young man to find an older person chat site to show this concern

My first reaction to this thread was similar to others.

Second reaction, in light of the more recent post, and
I've heard some people recently using shared accounts (with their kids) to get help with online banking and thought it was a cool idea.
Okay? Maybe a good idea?

But going by some family situations on GN, that would certainly not be a suitable arrangement for all.
And some or many GNetters are more than capable of doing online banking themselves.

I’m inclined to think if someone has adult children they should set up a POA. I did it several years ago, a joint one naming my daughter and son . Hopefully it won’t be needed for some time but there’s no use waiting till dementia is an issue then trying to organise it.

They are in their 40s and I hope they will soon organise their own POA’s with their spouses. It’s never too early but sadly for some it’s often too late. Life can be very complicated in the absence of a POA.

I too set up a power of attorney both for health and finances with my eldest daughter the only child who lives near me
That’s good enough for me

Perfectly capable of doing online banking but we don't. Estranged from youngest son and our other living in Aus. we've set up POA just naming one another; sad but true.

We did find some humour in the fact that the only other people we may have considered are our age or in my case older.

"Life can be very complicated in the absence of a POA" that's true Grannynannywanny but not everyone has children, or children they've maintained a relationship with, or children that don't live on the other side of the world.

I trust all my children but a shared account with any of them is a very definate NO !!! Why would anyone do that? AC often have a spouse or partner and with the best will in the world that can complicate the issue. A shared / joint account with my AC is not the way we would go.

My friend not only has separate bank accounts shared with her two adult sons, but also shares one with her brother.
I find it quite odd.

I wouldn’t share a bank account with anyone

When my DM started to become frail, she set up a joint bank a/c with me, which had about £1500 in it for emergencies. I did use it to cover the expense of visiting her when she was in hospital before she died. She hadn't set up a POA,
My AC are my attorneys (POAs for finance and health). But I think I will ask DD if she would like a small emergency fund as her husband is a bit tight financially so she wouldn't have to mention it if she needed an air ticket.

I've heard some people recently using shared accounts (with their kids) to get help with online banking and thought it was a cool idea

😲 My children might not want to share an account with me in case I drew out all their money and went off round the world on a belated gap year.

Callistemon .

My brother's and sisters set up an account to help with caring for parents. This was while they were still living in their own home but not buying things they needed e.g. new clothes, household goods, fresh meat etc. it just improved their quality of life. We all paid in a set amount each month & if anyone bought anything when visiting they paid for it from the account so costs were split fairly across the family. You need a high level of trust with your siblings for this to work.

We have had POAs set up but not implemented for decades.

As a family we have never had any inhibitions about talking money with our children and we all pass on information to each other

The biggest danger from shared accounts - as with POA is Elder financial abuse where a son/daughter family member of an old person has access to the eldely person's money and steals it. With a POA, there is a legal redress, but much less easy when it is a joint account.

I trust my children completely, but I would still be uneasy making them joint account holders on any of my bank accounts.

I wouldn't consider a joint account but do help them out regularly in a small way. My husband helps his children and GC a lot more.