What would you do? Do you think this is fair.

Advice from our solicitor has always been to split any legacy equally between AC regardless of any variations in their financial or family circumstances.
My Mum has made it clear that she expects us to 'look after' her Gchn and GGchn but neither they nor SIL or DIL are named in her will.

Germanshepherdsmum

Presumably your daughters might still have more children. Personally I would split the estate equally between the three daughters and leave them to pass on whatever they wish to their children - if anything. That is fair.

That’s precisely the advice our solicitor gave us when we made our wills and we followed it.

I really don’t understand why any adult child would expect a different share of the inheritance just because they chose to more or fewer children than their siblings.

Had we not followed the solicitor’s advice and left money to both children and grandchildren we would have had to frequently revise the Will as more grand children kept coming along. And then great grand children.

We haven’t discussed the terms of our Will with any of our children because really it’s none of their business as it does and should reflect our wishes rather than theirs. But I hope they trust us to be fair.

My sister in law and husband made the mistake of agreeing the terms of their will with their only child and in doing so caused themselves needless stress and hassle right up until the point of death.

I agree with the posters who say that the fairest thing would be to divide the estate equally between your three daughters. Each daughter can then make their individual choice as to what they leave to their children. Leaving more of the estate to one daughter because they happen to have produced more children is rewarding them for their prowess as a breeder.

My own parents disadvantaged me because I was childfree. In my 20s when my sister had 2 young children they made a will divided into thirds. One third each to my sister and I and the remaining third to be divided between the grandchildren.

Their argument was that their grandchildren gave them a lot of pleasure so they were "rewarding" my sister by giving birth to them. When I pointed out that 2 thirds of the estate was going to my sister's side of the family my parents response was that if I had children (in the future) then they also would benefit. It was, in effect, my decision to discriminate against myself. My sister had always been the "golden princess" when we were younger and this merely confirmed the fact that she was worth more in their eyes.

Needless to say this led to a lot of animosity and was part of the reason why I stepped back from my family and went low contact when I left my home city.

Discriminating between children can lead to a lot of anger and bitterness. Not only between the children and parents but also between the siblings.

My grandmother, with whom I had a very special relationship, deliberately left me more in her will "to compensate".

Your children made their own decisions about how many children they had. It is nothing to do with you.

You do not have any control over how your daughter's choose to spend their money once they get it, so it is possible that either of your daughters, when they receive their inheritance, will fritter it all on expensive clothes and expensive cruises so that their children will not benefit from it at all.

You leave your money equally to your own children, you have no reason to be remotely concerned with what happens further down the family line.

To those of you who say that an adult child has no right to query how their parents will leave their money - it would not have occured to me to raise the matter with them. It was my parents who "announced" that they had made their will. Of course my sister was delighted that two thirds was going to her side of the family. Whereas I was made to feel like the ugly sister.

It was with a clear conscience that I later gradually stepped back from so called family life and eventually moved to another city. I was only minimally involved when both parents died and left the arrangements to my sister.

If you treat your offspring unequally then you reap what you have sown.

I believe any inheritance goes to next generation. Which means if they don’t need it they can pass it on to their children. Maybe leave a piece of jewellery to grandchildren.

Eugh. My parents asked us (myself and three younger siblings ) years ago to decide what we wanted from a list of things. I was in NO position to make a decision ( as I had neither the room in a house or the headspace to make such decisions for their stuff!) so said "I'd rather have you and if you're going to leave me something then I'll have this "thing" which was my grandma's. I don't regret my decision and was made fun of by my siblings. I haven't made a will as yet but I have no idea as yet what I'm leaving to whom. Might even just put it in a big pile and tell folk to do what they want with it as most of possessions are "things". Lucky for my kids whatever happens, due to family circumstances, they will never go short.

Split it three ways and dish it out accordingly. That's what I'd do. Your decision to make and only yours.

It wouldn't have occurred to me to ask my mother and step father about their wills, nor would it have occurred to me to disclose the content of our wills to our sons.

My mother wanted to give to her grandchildren but my sister is childless….so my family would receive more….the solicitor suggested a 50/50 split and we agreed that was fair. It was up to me to give my children something…..my sister will leave anything she has to them anyway.

The love of money is the root of all evil. Give each of your granddaughters the same specific amount, what's wrong with that? Your daughter is being totally unreasonable and selfish.

I have 4 children and 9 grandchildren, I wanted my grandchildren to know they were in my thoughts, and have left them £1000.00 each. The remainder will be split equally between my 4 kids. It’s getting a wee bit complicated now as great grandchildren are starting to arrive, but so far haven’t gotten into that but wills can always be updated at any point. However I’m stubborn and if anyone of them started telling me what to do with my money they would probably find themselves taken out my will completely

You do what you would like to do! You may not even want to discuss it with them. Your choice to give to each gc individually seems great to me!

Firstly it is completely your choice who you leave your money to but I realise you really don’t need family stress as you get older. Technically you are leaving it to the children and not the parents so as they grow older they may want money for a car or University and so I believe it should be left equally to each grandchild. I am the same as most others that have posted and have left mine to my estate equally between my children knowing it will likely trickle down to grandchildren eventually. I already have a great grandchild so I believe it would become too complicated if I tried any other way. Lots of things can change in the future so I believe it’s the fairest way.

I'd say to your middle daughter that its MY will and MY money. She will get what she is given and if she doesn't like it that's tough.

My thoughts too greenlady.

I just split my assets in 3 -a portion for each son . The one without children probably will leave it to nephews and neice and the others to their own kids . If a child predecesses me ( which sincerely hope will not happen) their part goes to their own kids . That would solve the problem . Typical in a family for one to complain . You’re not going for a long time anyway hopefully !

Definitely just split an equal percentage to each daughter. They can then split what they want with their offspring's
I have a child without children and one child with children. My will is to my children and grandchildren will be dealt with by their parents. I feel this is fair.

As an afterthought you could point out that perhaps the family with more kids could need the money more than the parents ones who have an only child! Because obviously they would have to pay for more children to get through university or whatever. It’s just another side of the argument! Families can be so exasperating!!!

It's difficult because you don't know if your 2 DD's with 1 DC each might have another DC later. You could specify a token amount £1k for each DGC and the rest to be split equally between your 3 DC however if any of your DC should pass away before you then their share to pass to their DC to be split equally. My will is complicated because I've given younger DC £55 deposit so he could add to his savings to buy a 2 bedroom terraced house. He doesn't earn a big wage and he doesn't have a partner so it was the only way he could buy a house. I gave older 2 DC £7k towards their deposits but they both earn more and have a partner. I've told younger son he will get £50k less in my will which he is happy with. My older 2 DC were also happy for me to help youngest. I've got 2 DGC and I'm leaving them a house between them with their Mum having lifetime enjoyment/income. That way it protects the inheritance for my DGS's. I've got several btl houses which will be split up between husband and DC. Ultimately my DC will get more inheritance when the last of either DH or I die as will inherit family home and holiday home if there is any left after care home fees. Also have shares in Ltd company to be split so DH has 51 percent but DC share the rest. I want the holiday home to be used by my sister's and nieces and nephews too and if it's let out for 4 weeks a year it will more than cover it's own running costs. I might have to put it in a trust.

Yes that's what happens in our family. My will is divided equally between my daughters. My eldest has no family and my youngest 1 and a stepson, who I adore and call my grandson. My youngest knows she has to see both of them are ok.

I have 2 children and 6 grandchildren. 4 are my son's and the other 2 my daughter's. All the grandchildren will receive the same gift of money and the rest will be split equally between my children. It's your will and your money to do as you like with. I wouldn't let either of my children tell me what to do to be honest. I've done what I think is right.

I have a son and a daughter. Son has one child and daughter has none and is now in her fifties and never wanted children. In our will we stated 15% to be left to any grandchildren and the remainder divided equally between my son and daughter. My daughter and her partner have been incandescent with rage over this and have virtually cut us off. My son and daughter in law have always been supportive, loving and considerate whereas my daughter and her partner have been distant, tried to be controlling and have always taken offence where none was intended. Many friends have told me that I should cut my daughter out of my Will but I won't do that as in spite of her behaviour towards us, she's still my daughter and I love her even if I don't like her very much.

The point is that nobody can see into the future, so you can't plan for it.
People are born, they die, thay fall out, they make up, they have complicated life situations.

It's pointless to try and cover all eventualities.

My late DH before Alzheimer’s took hold, wanted any wills to favour my DS who has health problems and DD had already been helped financially.
When it came to my own will I am splitting it equally between the two. DS had one child.
I think it’s wise to disregard our DCs’ circumstances or suggestions if any (shameful) and keep it simple.

yes I'd make legacies to the grandchildren...and then divide the estate equally between three daughters.