Gifting Money to adult child to buy home: good or bad idea?

Norah

escaped

I think you said it in your OP ..... treat them equally.
Our children all had different qualifications, different means, different requirements, but we gave equally to buy their homes. That was 17 years ago, one was just 20 years old, but now we feel nothing but relief and satisfaction with our decision. There has never been any bitterness.

Agreed.

Whatever you give to one, at the same time give the others equally - make no restrictions on how they may spend their gift. No stipulations.

I do disagree slightly with Norah on this. We made sure that the money was spent on property. When people are young and are given a large amount of money I think that there is a tendency to splurge a little on a nice car, a lovely holiday or some other luxurey which, in our case, was most definitely not the intention.

We have four children and when we sold the family home and downsized we bought properties for them all. When we did our next downsize we either helped them move to the next house up or (in one case) helped to pay for renovations. They've not all had exactly the same amount but I make sure that I am more generous with money to those who originally had less if they need it.
I agree that it makes far more sense to do it whilst you are still alive, people with young families have far more need of it than they will later in life. I honestly don't know if they could have got onto the housing ladder in the UK without help, our housing is so much more expensive than in other countries.

escaped

I think you said it in your OP ..... treat them equally.
Our children all had different qualifications, different means, different requirements, but we gave equally to buy their homes. That was 17 years ago, one was just 20 years old, but now we feel nothing but relief and satisfaction with our decision. There has never been any bitterness.

Agreed.

Whatever you give to one, at the same time give the others equally - make no restrictions on how they may spend their gift. No stipulations.

I have both of mine a large sum to use as house deposit 6 years ago. One bought straight away and the other invested it and is now just buying.
I think it would be a shame to make them wait until we are dead when they need the money far more while in their 20s.
I have always bent over backwards to treat them the same ever since childhood. One is likely to earn more than the other.
They are both very appreciative and say they don't expect everything the other one gets but I wouldn't risk it.

If you can afford it give the 50k to each. If not I would give a smaller sum split 3 ways.

Grammaretto

Petra How do you know it's a bot?

Just my opinion:
1. New name, don't recognise it, a bit concocted.
2. USA, always makes me suspicious, don't know why.
3. Long convoluted verging on boring post. Too much unnecessary information.
4. Perfect punctuation and spelling.
5. Addressing the reader, asking questions, trying to rope them in.
6. Thanking everyone before anyone has contributed to the thread.
etc etc
I may be totally wrong, but just a feeling!

As others had said.. Give them the money and add to your Will a proviso that the others get their cut plus interest before anything else.
But tell them all individually.

Chardy

Totally different circumstances, but have given one child money on the understanding that the other will get the same amount out of my 'estate' before they divide the rest up when I go.

I was going to do what you have done. But my other child said what if all the rest of my money was swallowed up by care fees there would be nothing left to give.

I think GNHQ has a way of sifting them out !

Grammaretto

Petra How do you know it's a bot?

I would like to know this too, and how and why would these things be posted?

Petra How do you know it's a bot?

petra

The op isn’t a real person.
You are replying to an AI ChatBot.

Yes, I agree.
But if it helps a real person reading who is in this position, it's worth a few posters giving advice.

The op isn’t a real person.
You are replying to an AI ChatBot.

I think you said it in your OP ..... treat them equally.
Our children all had different qualifications, different means, different requirements, but we gave equally to buy their homes. That was 17 years ago, one was just 20 years old, but now we feel nothing but relief and satisfaction with our decision. There has never been any bitterness.

One of my adult children is single and lives alone on an average income. I gifted the deposit for a house plus money for floorings, blinds and curtains. My other AC are married and they and their spouses earn high incomes.

Chardy

Totally different circumstances, but have given one child money on the understanding that the other will get the same amount out of my 'estate' before they divide the rest up when I go.

So have we and have written into our will that if we haven’t evened the gift up child 2 (who has an extremely well paid job, no children and 3 houses) will get a bigger % of the value of our house when we die. If we downsize no.2 will be paid then.

I have done the same as Chardy and both DDs are happy with that.

One of my siblings is in a similar situation with one of their 4 DC. He's separated and has come "home" until he can find a place on his own.
It could take years for a single man on a low income with a child to support to find affordable housing.

His parents have decided to downsize themselves, buy a flat to rent to the DS which he can afford.
This way they are not gifting him a large sum but enabling him to live independently and away from them.

Unlike you, they are very happy not to have a grown man under their roof again.
Their other DC do not need financial help now but the idea being when their estate is divided up it will all equal out.

They are both retired economists and I am not so probably haven't explained this correctly.

Totally different circumstances, but have given one child money on the understanding that the other will get the same amount out of my 'estate' before they divide the rest up when I go.

I agree with CrazyH. I was in exactly your situation but with 2 children. I gave the same amount to both of them even though one of them was already wealthier than me.

You should be fair and give each of your 3 children the same amount. I fully agree with you, regarding gifting money while you are alive. I am doing the same, but each of my 3 children, get the same amount, regardless of what their financial status is.
You say they get along well, so please don’t rock the boat. And besides, there should be no secrets.
I am years older than you. The older I get, the more I give away. Btw,I am divorced.