Do You Wish You'd Spent More When Younger

bluebird243 No. I've always lived within my means, used credit very rarely, never borrowed from anyone and usually saved for what I wanted, furniture etc., even cars. Worth the wait to have no debt to which I have an aversion

We're quite similar, paid the house quickly, no more debt. I also have an aversion to debt, I think many my age are the same.

I do spend on holidays, typically winter in Austria or Germany.

I just wish we had had more to spend!

cornergran

Wer’e both reluctant to spend the far from a fortune we have saved over the past 56 years. We’ve had modest holidays in the past and now mostly short breaks. Our children are encouraging - pressurising - us to just do what we want, no matter the cost. Will we? The jury is out. It’s hard to undo the years of caution.

Cornergran, I'd say if you want to do it ..do it ..NOW ..while you're still able to do it together & enjoy it ! Who knows what's around the corner....you may not be able to do it soon. I've just bought myself a paddleboard for exactly the same reason ! 🥰🤩

I have never been a saver. In my mind life is short and to be lived as best you can so I have spent my salary and any money that I have been lucky enough to inherit on helping out my children and grandchildren, on holidays (as I love travel) and on experiences in general. I have worked mainly for charities so never been a huge earner but have loved my career and do not regret many of the things I have spent my money on. I saw my parents who were not hard up! anxious about spending their money to the point that major house repairs were put off and cost £££ more than would have needed had it been done in a timely way! I am a gen x so I appreciate that the older generations probably had a different approach to mine

We aways made sure we had enough money saved to see us through the ups and downs of life and as these included redundancy and unemployment.

We never had expensive tastes, in the things people often spend money on - holidays, clothes etc - but we do enjoy house restorarion and that, financially is quite an advantagious hobby because it is something that, if you know what you are doing, is generally profitable.

It also meant that we quickly reached the point where, if we had to sell our house because we could no longer afford the mortgage, we had enough equity in it to buy a smaller house for cash - and when you have children, that is a welcome relief.

GrannyGravy13

Monica not sure what holidays you have been on, but that is definitely not our or our children’s experience of foreign countries…

No, nor ours. Far from it.

See pictures of tourist coming off coaches in poorer tropical countries and they are almost without exception white.

I lived in south east Asia as a child and mixed with local people and went to school with them. Our relationship was of equals.

I am sorry but I still think much of the European/American tourism in poorer countries treats the populations of these countries as specimens in a zoo to be looked at and exclaimed at and patronised.

The exception I would make is those younger people travelling independently and cheaply on public transport and by walking or cycling although, now, even young people are going out with much larger budgets and once again are going to places where lots of students like them congregate and using organisations that make it easier for them.

I wish I saved more

M0nica I am not going to list the tropical countries that we as a family and as a couple have visited, I still do not recognise your vision

There has been for at least the last 20 years a movement towards eco tourism which provides employment for locals and investment in the region.

We’re both very impulsive and have always lived on the financial edge! Fortunately it was never a disaster and I regret nothing. We’ve visited all the countries we wanted to and now have no desire to travel so just as well!

ViceVersa

GrannyGravy13

Monica not sure what holidays you have been on, but that is definitely not our or our children’s experience of foreign countries…

No, nor ours. Far from it.

Our children enjoyed skiing in Germany, Austria, Switzerland.

They experienced the areas of the 7 Churches of Paul, Istanbul, Patmos, Izmir, Ankara, the pools of Cleopatra at Pamukkale, Roman ruins.

They'd many happy holidays in Italy, educational, interesting.

Our children loved holidays whilst we enjoyed foreign experiences with them. I'm a saver and happy to spend.

No regrets whatever. Our kids were raised on a shoestring, for a purpose.

Our ambitions for our children were to give them the health, education and skills, to create confident independent adults who could choose any life they wanted. Simultaneoulsy, our ambitions for ourselves (DH and I) were to be debtfree, mortgage free and retire by 53.

Our kids had a pretty simple cheap and active childhood; our domestic priority was good nutrition for health; a lot of fresh air and excercise. Much of our furniture, toys books games and clothes either came from jumble sales or were home made or recycled. Before school age they were always at our elbows "helping" do our real work and learning to use real tools ( cooking, cleaning, building, making and mending, digging, fixing and renovating things). They also were learning to focus attention and be persistent ... when things go wrong, find another solution.

Our holidays were all in Scotland (where we live) and remote, in some rented cottage/ caravan or camping. It usually rained and the children always contrived to incubate an infectious disease within hours of arrival ( measles, mumps and chicken pox).

We were mortgage free by 45, working part time by 50, retired by 55. Our kids went to state schools, top universities,and we had saved enough to cover their undergrad expenses so once they turned 18 we were free. One of them had just graduated from Cambridge when he announced he had decided to do medicine instead; we replied "Sorry, our uni budget has just started on number 4; he's picked a 5 yr course so no spare dosh". He replied "I know, I'm going to live cheap and work part time". Which is what he did.

Having seen our health benefits from working part time, the middle aged kids are also working part time, will be mortgage free in two or 3 years, one has a second home in France. they all plan to retire by late 50s.They have travelled the world, worked abroad, and are very, very canny with money.

Before we married or had kids DH and I had already travelled widely (Africa, Middle East. USA. Europe) and once the kids were off the nest we carried right on. We've had no inheritances. Everything we have we earned or made. We still have pretty much the same old lifestyle priorities we gave our kids; good nutrition, lots of fresh air, good sleep.

This has become a bit of a "look at me" thread. Look how wonderful we are.

Sad really as I'm sure we all did the best we could for our families, within what we had available and as far as we could - given how we perceived our own situation at the time.

The OP was asking should she have spent more on holidays when the children were young.
I expect they remember all the happy times and would say that they were perfectly fine.

Norah yes all ours learned to ski in Austria.

Some of ours wanted to snowboard and DH said when they could beat him safely down a black run then they could have boarding lessons, only one of the five boars and skis, although they all beat him down the mountain.

We have camped in the U.K., done the whole Euro Camp thing in France (boys hated wearing budge smugglers in the onsite pool)

They were very fortunate that my family home (mum) was two minutes from the Mediterranean, and my father’s was around five minutes from the beach in Hampshire.

They were/are all outside children as are the grandchildren, having holidays to far flung places doesn’t mean that they didn’t have what are now called staycations days out, making dens in the woods, all day at the stables, fishing/crabbing etc.

Didn't have much when first married. When children arrived we camped in UK. When they were a but older we had a caravan and took the children 5 year twins 7 year DD to Denmark taking in Legoland. At 11 and 13 years we again did Europe going to several countries. Due to DHs job it became difficult to have holidays in ideal summer holidays as his holidays were in May then progressed monthly up to October. We couldn't afford the holidays offered by companies. All three eventually after Uni travelled the world widely working in some places.Now I find it very difficukt to understand wht anyone woukd want to holiday abroad with very young children. Just back from Spain today and at the airport thought there was no way I'd consider it a holiday having to deal with crying babies and toddlers.My damiky always refer to their foreign travels as fun and fantastic. Didn't have a lot to spend and wouldn't change any of it.

NotSpaghetti you are correct, my last post was not meant to be look at me but an acknowledgement of how fortunate I was in my childhood despite my parents divorce and multiple step-mothers, (only one step-father)

We worked hard to build up our business, pay off debts and subsequently played hard I have never taken anything for granted, as it can disappear in a heartbeat.

I value our family far above material possessions

SueDonim

I wish my mum had spent more of her money. She scrimped and saved all her life, out of necessity, until her later years when she built a small nest egg, and now it’s almost all been taken to pay for her care. I didn’t know until six months ago how much she did have in the bank. If I’d known, I’d have suggested she replaced her kitchen and bathroom and modernised her house, which would maybe have allowed her to stay at home for longer. She doesn’t have dementia, although is frail, so is well aware that she’s been stripped of almost all her assets, while others are getting the same thing for free. She’s never claimed benefits or used the NHS much (appendix 60 years ago, one new hip/knee over 20 years).

I wish she’d have gone to see her wider family where she was born, flown in a plane, had a holiday abroad, bought nicer clothes, gone to see the theatre and music she loves. At 97, it’s too late.

This echoes my own experience SueDonim, only found out how much my Mom had squirrelled away when she was diagnosed with dementia.
She spent so many years not spending she could have moved to a purpose built bungalow if she had spent what she’d saved.

NotSpaghetti

This has become a bit of a "look at me" thread. Look how wonderful we are.

Sad really as I'm sure we all did the best we could for our families, within what we had available and as far as we could - given how we perceived our own situation at the time.

The OP was asking should she have spent more on holidays when the children were young.
I expect they remember all the happy times and would say that they were perfectly fine.

Apologies. You are correct, children remember happy times.

I meant to say I believe children can be sporty, learn quite a bit of history and geology whilst on Foreign holidays, if family budget allows.

NotSpaghetti

This has become a bit of a "look at me" thread. Look how wonderful we are.

Sad really as I'm sure we all did the best we could for our families, within what we had available and as far as we could - given how we perceived our own situation at the time.

The OP was asking should she have spent more on holidays when the children were young.
I expect they remember all the happy times and would say that they were perfectly fine.

Do You Wish You'd Spent More When Younger

No, because we would have lost our home had we spent more on having holidays, ski-ing, in Spain etc

A tent in a damp field in Cornwall progressing to a tent in a dry field in France! But they all had memorable holidays, I think.

NotSpaghetti

This has become a bit of a "look at me" thread. Look how wonderful we are.

Sad really as I'm sure we all did the best we could for our families, within what we had available and as far as we could - given how we perceived our own situation at the time.

The OP was asking should she have spent more on holidays when the children were young.
I expect they remember all the happy times and would say that they were perfectly fine.

Do You Wish You'd Spent More When Younger

Unfortunately, the title of this thread under the heading "Money" did inadvertently cause a bit of look at what we did. I don't think it was anyone's intention to boast, but apologies here too if my post appeared that way.
My inheritance came early through tragic circumstances, and spending it on my children's holidays and education brought some comfort.
We all did the best we could, is very true NotSpaghetti.

melp1
We were comfortably off when we had children in the 90s but we went from 2 full time salaries to 1.2 plus the added ost of children. So I felt like I had to be more frugal than was strictly necessary. They still had good holidays but we didn't spend a lot on toys, didn't run a fancy car. I could have spent more and sometimes regret a bit of penny pinching.
On the other hand they grew up with solid financial attitudes, not materialistic and we've been able to help them with house deposits etc.

No I don’t regret spending more when we were younger. Being hardworking and prudent meant we have a wonderful house and lovely garden and if we ate baked beans so our children could attend prep schools then it was worth every penny.

GrannyGravy13

M0nica I am not going to list the tropical countries that we as a family and as a couple have visited, I still do not recognise your vision

There has been for at least the last 20 years a movement towards eco tourism which provides employment for locals and investment in the region.

I actually think ecotourism is worse. I have a friend who is always off on tradecraft tours, and they always make me feel uneasy. All they do is swap the coaches for minibuses and small groups.

I think currently, when so many countries are facing revolts by the locals because they are overrun and overwhelmed by tourists and where everything in holiday hotspots is geared specifically to meet tourist wants, all you see is a sanitised and developed for tourists picture of local life and culture.

M0nica

GrannyGravy13

M0nica I am not going to list the tropical countries that we as a family and as a couple have visited, I still do not recognise your vision

There has been for at least the last 20 years a movement towards eco tourism which provides employment for locals and investment in the region.

I actually think ecotourism is worse. I have a friend who is always off on tradecraft tours, and they always make me feel uneasy. All they do is swap the coaches for minibuses and small groups.

I think currently, when so many countries are facing revolts by the locals because they are overrun and overwhelmed by tourists and where everything in holiday hotspots is geared specifically to meet tourist wants, all you see is a sanitised and developed for tourists picture of local life and culture.

So do you believe these tourists are all fst Europeans?

Have you ever been the only European on a trip? We have.

Have you tried to get through crowds of Japanese tourists to get to work at a local historic house?
The thing is, everyone seems to want to stop and pose for photos! "Never mind the scenery, the history, here's me, me,
me!"

It's not just Europeans, fat, thin or medium-sized.

No I wish I’d spent less. I wish I hadn’t of bought all the needless shite I’ve accumulated over the years. I would be a millionaire 🥴