A Skype or zoom meet up

Any road up....

Anyway

Just to let folks know it was me, not Nashville, who put our names by mistake. Not meaning to cause a kerfuffle or set a new trend. But let’s talk by zoom antsy! 😊

Aveline

Our group didn't begin online. We went online during COVID. We were acquaintances to begin with I'd say but became friends as the weeks on Zoom went on.

You made acquaintances here, chatted a little (or a lot) and got to know each other.
Well enough to decide to meet?

You met, became friends, and then chatted online during covid since you couldn't meet up at that point?

The point is, at some time, groups of friends were no more than acquaintances who liked the sound of each other.

Husbands at one time were just people you'd seen around or met once, or even spotted from afar.

Otherwise, we would all exist in a vacuum, permanently.

No Elegan i wasn’t the one suggesting there were cliques on here that came from one of the original posters and I added the comment as it seemed a bit of a strange comment from someone who then suggested former a smaller group 🙃 i ve never seen or been part of a clique on this site. Just because some people have similar thoughts or make similar posts doesn’t make a clique

I also remember that awful situation re the job interview so spiteful and mean

Our group didn't begin online. We went online during COVID. We were acquaintances to begin with I'd say but became friends as the weeks on Zoom went on.

I know what I meant.

So how did groups of friends become a group of friends, if the friendship began its days online?

Only if others are excluded.

Is a group of friends a 'clique'?

Someone who had collected info about a poster almost scuppered a their new job a few years ago. The poster had shared info about her jobhunting experiences, including a bit about an interview she was to go to. A spiteful anonymous person wrote to the boss about her. He showed the poster the letter and tore it up - but it could have lost her the position, which she got and enjoyed working at.

A few of us did a zoom when lockdown started, BlueBelle, and some of us still meet. However, we were never a clique, and still aren't.

Remember too that these posts can and do sometimes appear in daily newspapers.

For me it’s not about being suspicious or scared or anything else it’s about being sensible and careful It is right to be cautious online, surely you have to agree that as you rarely post you could have been absolutely anyone, we have had people purporting to be someone else and causing a lot of trouble and upset in the past so no one knew who you were

Can I ask politely why you feel safer having a zoom meeting with strangers than posting on here with a username and annominity ? If you don’t have time to post here how do you have time to zoom ?

I know a few peoples real names on here but I would never ever put it out for others to see.
I hope those who are happy with this get on and enjoy it but one other thing you spoke about cliques well I guess that a chat room or zoom room is the quickest way to form a clique 😀

Well, we didn't organise it by putting a general invitation on the forum - which someone later told us we should have done. As this was at the beginning of lockdown and there were no face-to-face meetups going on, a general invitation could have been swamped and impossible to run.

I think these ladies would have done better to plan a meeting at a specific place and start a thread asking who would like to join that, rather than invite the whole of Gransnet (several tens of thousands of members) to join a zoom to plan a meeting somewhere vague.

Amazing that we somehow got away with it Elegran!

Sorry, I missed out a word or two. Where I have ". . a zoom meeting, where you and others will be meeting and when. . ." please add in " discussing where and" in between "and" and "when"

Nashville you say ^"
I can’t see that sharing our names can be seen as anything but being open and honest - I really don’t think we are compromising our security this way.^

So we are not suspicious - we are two ladies who choose not to post very often as we are both quite active and busy doing other things and cannot see that sharing our names is compromising any kind of personal security."

I don't know whether you are members also of other social networking groups like Facebook, but as you say you don't have much time, I assume not.

My opinion on this thread is split. On the one hand, I don't believe that there is any great danger in making plans via the Gransnet forum or through a zoom group, You would use your username and Gransnet PMs while everyone was a stranger to everyone else, but once you had met in person a couple of times and assessed each other, it would be almost the same as meeting up with people you had met in any other way.

However, on the other hand I do think that online it is essential to keep as much anonymity as you can, particularly on this OPEN forum, which can be read by anyone at all who can access the internet. True, you need to be a member to post, but no-one has to join GN to read the posts. They are even reproduced from time to time in articles in popular newspapers when a journalist comes across an example of older people saying something they can make sound selfish or stupid.

You are doing two things - inviting anyone reading to join a zoom meeting, where you and others will be meeting and when, perhaps arranging to give someone a lift to a venue, exchanging info about exactly where you live, chatting about your family and so on. At the same time you are quite happy to have your personal names (not just usernames) displayed, which I would never do unless I had met people in person, or corresponded with them enough to have it very clear in my head that I would trust them..

Meanwhile, under your usernames, you might post chatty snippets such as, perhaps, that you live alone, that you have lots of trees in your garden, that your menfolk work away from home all week, that you will be off to the sunshine on a certain date, that your dog is so friendly it would be no use as a guard-dog, that you have just bought a new computer that does everything except make the dinner . . . . and any lowlife who thought you sounded like an easy victim could work out very easily when you will be away and the house empty, or even at home alone in a secluded house with an expensive computer and the friendliest nonguard dog in the country. They could have joined your zoom group under a username, thus getting more useful information from the other members, then "decided" not to come to the meetup after all, and faded back into the crowd.

So be trusting, yes, but also be very aware that not everyone is to be trusted.

It is nothing to do with being mistrustful by default. 😒
My experience and training make me wary and vigilant, especiallý as I am still heavily involved in Safeguarding and GDPR processes.

I have explained my views in a polite manner and hope other will do the same.

Hi there all. The process we are using is to private message and then share contact details etc if it’s what the messages wants eventually using Zoom. We haven’t got to the zoom bit yet.

I have been a member of gransnet for a few years but rarely post. Happily I am still quite physically active so simply wanted to find amenable people to share time and holidays with.

It’s so sad that so many people are mistrustful as default nowadays.

I can’t see that sharing our names can be seen as anything but being open and honest - I really don’t think we are compromising our security this way.

So we are not suspicious - we are two ladies who choose not to post very often as we are both quite active and busy doing other things and cannot see that sharing our names is compromising any kind of personal security.

If anyone wants to be part of the group, which now numbers4, or find out about the group, personal message me and I will get back to you.

SA57

Thank you all for your replies,to be honest you have scared the life out of me, I only wanted to join the zoom as a way of getting to know more people, it's harder to meet new people the older we get, I take on board all the good advice about staying safe, the internet can be a strange place if you are new to it or not very confident, I have been a observer for a long time but never posted as not confident enough, the proposed zoom group just felt like a good way of chatting with new friends

What a shame you've been put off.

I've been in Zoom groups with people I know and also with complete strangers (interest groups like U3A and Probus). I've also done training via Microsoft Teams. They all seemed OK.
I think the OP should 'suck it and see'. I bet everyone will be on their best behaviour to begin with but will relax as they get to know each other. Just like real life I suppose. Good luck.

Thank you all for your replies,to be honest you have scared the life out of me, I only wanted to join the zoom as a way of getting to know more people, it's harder to meet new people the older we get, I take on board all the good advice about staying safe, the internet can be a strange place if you are new to it or not very confident, I have been a observer for a long time but never posted as not confident enough, the proposed zoom group just felt like a good way of chatting with new friends

I totally agree with you, I found the same thing and I did notice when checking back on other postings that it is the usual suspects that are at the bottom of some of the nasty comments. I call them trolls. My thoughts are if you cannot say anything nice then keep your comments to yourselves. But these posters try and defend themselves by saying 'they have a right to their opinion', but even if it is their opinion there are nicer ways of putting your comments across than just being downright nasty.

I'm sure she was an absolute delight, though. (As was her neighbour, who popped in, then out, then back in again)

Someone mentioned a clique It might look like that to some but we have known each other for a long time. I joined in 2011.