Happiness

Could u take up something New ? Maybe some activity u have always wanted to try? Know it is hard when one of our kids has some potentially life threatening illness. My son is ill. Outcome uncertain. I am trying to focus on all those good things we have shared in the past. Going to try the joy jar!

I would recommend St. John's Wort (check it's okay for you) and maybe Magnesium too. Worth a try. Fresh air too, although I do know how hard it is to make yourself go out when you are feeling low. Think a lot of us understand how you feel. Hope you soon feel more energised.

I'm so sorry that you feel this way. Your medical conditions, although under control may be having a debilitating affect on your mood.
If I can't get out into the garden I find that doing something creative helps.

Loobs, have you tried a LOW dose of Pregnenolone? Don't use/buy it without reading Ray Sahelian's web page about it though.

I was feeling just like you. I spoke to our local health shop owner who said it was low level depression. I started on vitamin D and Siberian Ginseng. The effect was fantastic I thought I'd never feel happy again.

Thank you all so much for replying - it does seem there are some others out there who suffer the same - just the feeling of never achieving 'joyfulness'. I feel very strongly that it was the menopause plus the Thyroid issue that caused this - it is known that the 2 can often happen at the same time. To put it in context, I have had a worrying 18 months as my 38 year old daughter was diagnosed with cancer 15 months ago. She has had treatment and is in the clear at the moment although we know it will come back. It has been hard for all of us, obviously, but this feeling is separate from that. I am 60 years old and have felt like this (in hindsight) for 5 or 6 years, which is why I don't think it is stress or even depression (which must be the most awful thing to suffer from). It is simply not being quite happy and yet there are so many reasons why I should be and there are so many people suffering in the World.
I do take Magnesium and Vit D - I have learnt a lot in my quest to be healthy - so I think perhaps I just need to exercise!! I will get back to walking every morning (in the countryside so I can sing and dance on my way round without feeling a dipstick) and hopefully it will also get my blood pressure down and I will lose a pound or two. Thanks again for your replies - I'm now off to Halfords to see if they have any sex drives on offer - I really do need a new one.

Don't take the advice of a new man they can often bring so much problems with them a dog, the garden, long walks, plenty of company, all good points but looking for a man to cure your ills is such a recipe for disaster sorry Sarahellen

90% sounds pretty good to me !

I too, know exactly how you feel. It was years before I traced my anxiety and, as you say, lack of joy, back to the menopause. Seven o'clock ish in the morning is my lowest ebb. At that point I have no motivation to keep going and only feel bleak. I have started reading for a while at that time. It takes my mind off the misery, and calms me a little. It's ironic that my OH, who suffers from PD, is getting help from different sources for his 'low mood', after I reported various symptoms. He has medication, referral to psych services, offer of counselling, and this very morning, an app with an Occ Therapist, who is going to do some relaxation therapy with him. I said if he doesn't want this app, I' ll have it!! It's maybe not beneficial to suffer in silence as we often do. Thanks to all posters, as many of us will benefit from your advice.

And check your vit D and magnesium levels. If you are not working, volunteer.

I feel for you Loobs. I feel as if someone flicked a switch when I hit the menopause at 51. That was 10 years ago. As I was already on medication for high blood pressure I was not allowed to take HRT. Can't say that I have suffered with hot flushes as such but the worst thing is vaginal dryness. The Dr gave me cream which didn't do a lot so sex is virtually off the menu now. Also I have been told I am diabetic although I don't need medication yet. Have to wear hearing aids(very unsexy) and have arthritis in my knees. The final straw is having to work until 66 years old. I am a library assistant so lost all of my colleagues through cuts etc. I now work with all new, young enthusiastic staff in a job that I now hate! I often wish that I could turn back the clock and be a young mum again!

I was wondering about vit D too - such a simple fix.

Getting outside seems to be important too, for a bit of mental bounce; and it sounds terribly Pollyanna-ish, but I find a 2Joy jar" really helps - I write myself a note about things that have made my heart lift - like seeing a buzzard on the breeze - and re-read them if I'm feeling flat.

Hope things improve soon for you!

Just wanted to add that I too have underactive thyroid and felt really flat. Had Vit D tested and subsequently prescribed. It made an amazing difference.
Hope you're feeling more on top of the world soon Looks.

I could have written both posts here . . . .from Loobs and TerriBull . . . . . thought it was just me!!! Agree with the "de-sensitised" to life . . . .feeling little to nothing much of the time then thoroughly pee'd off the remainder!!Can't even remember any "happy" times - - - on a positive note - - I agree re walking - - -it does make you feel better but difficult to find motivation when every part of you aches!!

I feel much the same and often feel overwhelmed by a busy life when pre-menopause I relished it. Trying to keep on top of the necessary technology exhausts me, especially as HD leaves it to me.

Dancing is my saviour, it just makes me happy but I do worry about what will take it's place when I can't do it any longer. And friends. I've been lucky enough to make a number of new friends in the last few years (never had a lot due to moving around a fair bit) and spending time with them is always uplifting (some more than others )

Get into the garden asap

Loobs I know how you feel, it's like a darkness, dampening in your brain. The fact it's there stops you from wanting to go for walks etc. I try to remind myself to live in the moment and actually tell myself to enjoy it. People, the sun, children. I go through long periods when I forget but when I remember I definitely feel better. It could be other things in your life need changing. People around you might be negative. I hope this helps.

I agree with previous comments for me it isn't so much not feeling happy its more I don't feel the same enthusiasm or excitement but on the plus side at 60 and not suffering as many symptoms now I feel much calmer and less stressed when I was younger I did have more enthusiasm for life but always felt a little stressed and had a much shorter temper.

I feel pretty much the same so you are not alone.
Since the menopause everything is a little flat, almost as if there's a blanket over my emotions. I used to be full of energy, happy and full of optimism. People used to call me 'perky'!
I don't disagree with what's already been said but I also think that telling you to buck up your ideas isn't exactly going to help that much because it's a physiological thing, it's not in your head - your body has changed.
So I am going to say this......on the plus side, you are a new person! This is a new phase in your life and it might be helpful to think about some of the positives of the new you. Are you more analytical? Thoughtful? Can you see through all the s@#t?

Try new things, don't try to be the old you. Sending you hugs!

(Oh and try to have lots of sex, it's great for the brain)

Loobs
Is there no man in your life?
Not the be all and end all of what makes life interesting, but, and NO not with someone else's man, a new relationship beats a five mile morning run any day.

I sympathise Loobs, I too still have menopausal symptoms, feeling overly hot mainly and have an under active thyroid for which I take Throxine, which has never really been a silver bullet as far as energy levels are concerned. In America they prescribe something call Armour which is derived from pigs' thyroids I believe. From I have read this treats our condition more effectively, but NICE haven't approved it here, it's more expensive to produce than synthetic Throxine. When Hillary Clinton had her fainting episode and made her medical notes available, I did read that she was taking it for her under active thyroid.

I also tried HRT patches which did help, but when one doctor at my practice took my blood pressure recently she told me it was raised and this was probably due to the HRT and advised me to come off it When I went back to see the original doctor who prescribed it she told me that reading was not concerning and when she took my blood pressure again it was perfectly normal and told me I shouldn't have come off it. Conflicting advice so now I am considering going back on HRT, anything to get some more energy and a good night's sleep. It seems for many women the menonpause and an under active thyroid diagnosis arrive simultaneously which doesn't help, and both can affect mood.

I hope you find some solution that lifts your spirits, I agree with others regarding fresh air and nature, particularly on a sunny, warm day.

Dear Loobs,
I feel sorry that you feel this way, but PLEASE try to grab life with both hands. I am quite a lot younger than you, had to have a hysterectomy and they found a cancer. I was plunged into surgical menopause which is violently unpleasant, everything you are feeling in a natural menopause is times ten.Added to that, since my operation I have had several complications and infections that are ongoing and every day is a struggle, but when it all gets too much, I look outside and am so thankful for the chance of more time, seeing my family's faces, seeing the sun, the flowers, nature. Some days I hate myself and am DEFINITELY not who I was before, it is sad, but look at the alternative. I'm not preaching, and I understand we each have our own upsets, who can know what is REALLY going on in another person's life. Just be open to new experiences and happy thoughts, I wish you well, and if you like, I'll happily swap !!!

Would you consider a full medical, just to rule out anything that might be lurking? Do you think you'd benefit from counselling. Sometimes talking helps to sort things out in your head.

I agree with walking being a tonic. I've been through a difficult year and walking most days helps to clear the cobwebs. It doesn't change what's happening, but just seems to ease the anxiety a little bit.

Also I would say take a look at the people you spend time with. Stimulating company always makes a difference!

I started early with peri-menopause at 38 and at 67 am still suffering and take a low dose of HRT, using gel + progesterone tablets. It's helped a lot. Without HRT I would be seriously struggling.

Exercise does really help! Even if just a walk as it releases the endorphins. So even if I start out blah... I end up a lot better. Not dancing a jig, but more relaxed and able to cope.

There are a few books out there. Dr Rosemary Leonard has written a good one, but it won't be published till next year? Why so long from the promo in a magazine to publishing?

Here's the piece in Sunday Express (I only buy it for the magazine, really!!)

www.express.co.uk/life-style/health/774184/menopause-health-tips-hot-flush-sweat-hormones

Anyways, there are some on Amazon UK, and am sure you can find them in the high street bookstores, too. The one at the link below had good reviews. Many offer natural remedies, like St John's Wort (Leonard did too in her promo piece). That is up to you. But they help to get familiar with the symptoms of menopause 'uglies', it's empowering not to be in the dark. And you cannot just snap out of it, so talk to your GP about HRT if it's for you.

Read some of the book descriptions and reviews on menopause books, maybe you will fine one will strike a chord give you some support. I noticed the reviews on this one were very good. I always read reviews and see how many are high vs low stars. Also I look for British authors.

So...That's Why I'm Bonkers!

www.amazon.co.uk/Thats-Why-Bonkers-surviving-menopause/dp/1518801463/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1489397377&sr=1-3&keywords=menopause&tag=gransnetforum-21