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Menopause

Menopause - what was your experience?

(123 Posts)
LaraGransnet (GNHQ) Wed 24-Jul-19 15:36:56

We've read all your your discussions on the menopause, and been struck by how varied people's experiences have been when you've tried to seek help from medical professionals. We wanted to find out more and, if something needs to change, perhaps base a Gransnet campaign around it.

So, please share your experiences on this thread.
- What happened when you first visited your GP?
- Were you given good advice, and did you feel your GP listened to you?
- Did you feel your GP was clued up about the menopause?
- What were your experiences of being prescribed medication, being referred on to more specialist services, or being given lifestyle advice - did these things happen in a way that you found beneficial?
- Is there anything else about the experience that we've missed?

It would be great to get a sense of what the biggest challenges and issues are.
Thanks smile

Gonegirl Thu 25-Jul-19 11:25:32

I became lazy after menopause. Never have got out of it completely. I think the nesting instinct (which I may have had too much of anyway) went completely out of the window.

Anyone else?

oldgimmer1 Thu 25-Jul-19 12:57:50

I also became much lazier and tired ( I was no human dynamo before).

I went to the Doc about hot flushes and he wouldn't give me any treatment.

I gave in and just got on with it, ate better and got more exercise.

I feel better now, thankfully.

Hilarybee Thu 25-Jul-19 13:10:25

I have had hot flushes and night sweats for ten years now. At least four during the day and about the same each night, especially after about 4 am. I can't take HRT as I have had a blood clot many years ago. It does get me down at times but there's not a lot I can do. I know that alcohol, coffee,tea and various foods make them happen and I do avoid them most of the time.

SparklyGrandma Thu 25-Jul-19 13:11:54

The peri menopause and menopause released a surge of energy for me so that I had more stamina at work, and could work longer and effectively than staff half my age.

I did go to the GP when night sweats affected my sleep. She referred me to a consultant but I resented paying 2 prescription charges monthly for HRT.

That was the last time I sought medical for my menopause. I am now 11 years post menopause, no more symptoms and I am glad life is quiet and less swingy without the cycle of monthly hormones affecting my life.

All in all, I am glad the menopause gave me more energy at work, it enabled me to forge ahead career wise, before retirement.

watermeadow Thu 25-Jul-19 15:29:12

I’m another who had no trouble at all. My periods just stopped (thank God) at 52, no hot flushes or depression or other symptoms.
I hoped I’d passed this down to my daughters but the eldest is already having problems at 47.

GabriellaG54 Thu 25-Jul-19 16:47:37

Aged 51 my periods just ceased. No tailing off, no flushes, no dancing hormones, weight gain, excessive hair growth in unwanted areas or thinning head hair. No osteoporosis or sleepmess nights.
Not everyone needs a discussion with their doctor at menopause.

GabriellaG54 Thu 25-Jul-19 16:48:29

sleepmess sleepless smile

Sara65 Thu 25-Jul-19 17:10:23

The menopause itself gave me no problems, but I admit I’ve struggled with weight since

BlueSky Thu 25-Jul-19 17:47:08

Grannyqueenie of course you are not a wimp or a moaning Minnie just like those of us who were lucky are not show offs! It's the same with periods and labour not two women are the same!

Shizam Thu 25-Jul-19 20:01:38

I had what Gp thought were menopausal symptoms. Cold sweats in the night. Very high white blood count. Gp put me on hrt. Led to heavy bleeding. Luckily a better Gp went meh to her colleague Turned out I had I appendicitis. Could have killed me!

FarNorth Thu 25-Jul-19 23:25:10

I was a lucky one who had very little disruption except for a bit of absent mindedness and general foggy brain.
I thought it was just because of getting old.
I only realised later on, after it had cleared up, that the menopause must have caused it.

whywhywhy Fri 26-Jul-19 00:29:06

I had a terrible time going through the menopause. Anyone who sailed through it without even a trip to the drs is lucky. I didnt have the hot flushes or night sweats. I did have the massive blood loss and had to go into hospital to have a "flush out" which made things worse. I picked up a major infection in the hospital and was rushed straight back in. The blood loss was worse until they put me on some medication to slow it down. I passed out several times from low blood pressure only to discover that I was on the wrong medication. Back to hospital as I became so anaemic. Life was hell and I had a 9 year old to look after on my own as a single parent. My other son and daughter stepped in and looked after my youngest son. I am sure that the mood swings sent his dad packing and I can honestly say - good riddance to him. I eventually came out of it aftr 5 years of hell. Also I had spent most of my life at 8st and once through the change I am battled with my weight. My boobs are massive and I cannot take HRT as it makes me so ill. I am pleased for anyone who sails through the change - not so for me. We are all different. Seek advice if you need to but please do not suffer it on your own. Take care and remember there is a light at the end of the tunnel - a bloody great train!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Willow500 Fri 26-Jul-19 06:52:36

At 41 I had continuous heavy bleeding for 6 weeks and eventually went to see the woman doctor who no one got on with - she was extremely annoyed at being kept back late but then became kindness itself when she examined me. She sent me straight to the hospital where they diagnosed fibroids and an ovarian cyst, gave me some tablets to stop the bleeding and sent me home. I never saw anything else after that and had no other symptoms. The next ultrasound showed the fibroids and cyst had disappeared or shrunk. I had had numerous blood tests over the preceding months to try and determine if I was in the change but finally they said it was an under active thyroid so I was put on thyroxine.

I did go on HRT for a couple of months but my feet and ankles swelled so much it scared me so I stopped taking them and never really had any problems after that.

I feel so sorry for all those suffering badly. My DIL who is 48 is having similar issues to those I had and they are still saying she's not going through the menopause yet. They finally fitted her with a coil which has helped with the bleeding but not the profuse sweating and weight gain she's got. For some it's a total nightmare.

FarNorth Fri 26-Jul-19 10:40:36

I am so sorry to hear of the appalling experiences some women have with menopause. sad

goldengirl Fri 26-Jul-19 11:07:10

Compared to some women I had it easy. A couple of hot flushes; grumpiness and that was it. I certainly didn't consider visiting a doctor. The worse bit was not knowing when my period would come - or not - having been very regular.

ninathenana Fri 26-Jul-19 13:00:16

My periods had always been erratic (I now think that I had PCOS)
My periods stopped abruptly 15 yrs ago and apart from a few hot flushes, I had no symptoms of menopause.
I never needed to consult my GP

Daddima Fri 26-Jul-19 15:31:59

Same as calendargirl and Sarah65, just stopped, no effects whatever.

paddyann Fri 26-Jul-19 20:36:58

hot flushes during the day night sweats so bad I had to change sheets sometimes 3 times in the night ,,a husband who moved to a spare room because of the sweats.Migraines that lasted days ,joint pain,weeping for nothing ,losing my usually non existent temper over the stupidest of things .In fact if you can find a list of meopause symptoms where theres one I didn't have I'll be shocked.My GP first put me on HRT in my late 40's for the night sweats ..then another GP decided I should be taken off it .Back on in my mid fifties after being sent to the menopause clinic and yearly visits since .I am 65 .I will stay on HRT for life .My gynaecologist is brilliant ,if it wasn't for him I'd be divorced or dead

Ngaio1 Fri 26-Jul-19 21:17:34

I had a test to see if I had had the menopause! I had. No problems at all. I think I may have had one hot flush.

BlueBelle Fri 26-Jul-19 22:27:10

I had no problems either, they just stopped, no flushes no pains, just no periods, wonderful one day here next day gone
I would have avoided HRT even if I d had any symptoms I d have tried natural products but didn’t need to, lucky lady

paddyann Fri 26-Jul-19 23:56:11

Bluebelle I tried every natural remedy ,sage leaf tea ,black cohosh,evening primrose oil,magnets inside my knickers etc etc etc .My GP found out about more natural remedies than she knew existed .Hrt has been my saviour.I'm always sad when women who were lucky to sail through menopause make we who had it more difficult feel inferior because we needed help.I include my own mother in that group ,she had her last period at 42 ,thought she was pregnant and panicked as both my older sisters were pregnant .She was so relieved it was menopause not a baby.I'd love to have had her luck !

TerriBull Sat 27-Jul-19 07:54:01

I don't think the menopause can be referred to "as something that just happens" and asking to see a doctor would probably be unnecessary. All women will have a different story to tell and some emerge from this time in their life pretty unscathed by it, but as many have posted here it can be the most debilitating of time in a woman's life. My menopausal symptoms started relatively late, I felt a bit of a freak still having intermittent periods as late as 57. I'd already been diagnosed with an underactive thyroid some years before, a condition that often kicks in for a lot of women around the time of the menopause and the symptoms are pretty similar. Mid 60s now I still get hot flushes and don't sleep well at all. My doctor advised me to try Evorel Conti patches a while back but that produced a heavy period like bleeding so I ditched them. The menopause for many women is a wretched period in their life and I sympathise with anyone who is having a bad time of it and would say to those who have sailed through it, you are the lucky ones!

leh08 Sat 27-Jul-19 09:21:00

Many of the women who breeze through the menopause cannot understand what it is like for the ones who suffer. I had to change my clothes up to ten times a day because of hot flushes. I couldn't sleep at night. I had all the symptoms plus a few extra, it seemed. The worst for me was losing my words. I couldn't name people or things. As I was 38 at the time it took a long time to be diagnosed. I was put on tablets but they stopped working so I had patches. Eventually, the only thing that worked was an implant. Forty years on I still need HRT impants but now they are not available on the NHS so it costs me £400+ each time. Sometimes I only need one every eighteen months, other times I need one every six months, depending on hormone levels. If I drop below 400 then I get all the symptoms back. I asked a specialist if he thought some women were diagnosed as having dementia when all they needed was HRT. His answer was yes.

sue01 Sat 27-Jul-19 09:22:11

Why do you assume we would visit the Doctor about the menopause ?? I had no idea when I went through the menopause as I was plumbed in with an IUD which took away my periods. Few hot flushes... I've always been a hot bod... so no drama... and moved on.

Jayelld Sat 27-Jul-19 09:30:17

Unlike a lot of post here, my menopause lasted 6 months with 3 'flushes' and 3 mild periods. I went to my doctor, of 30 years, and was told that not everyone suffered. My mother and all 3 sisters suffered badly so I thought something was wrong.
My doctor was very understanding and reassuring, took some blood, which all came back clear, and I was relieved and very happy.