Menopause - what was your experience?

I had a hysterectomy when I was 45 to resolve permanent periods due to large fibroids (the largest weighed 10 lbs) but my ovaries were left intact. Obviously I had no more periods......result! I presume I went through a menopause but to be honest I never ever thought about it at all, over the moon to be rid of the misery of permanent periods, never took HRT! Every woman is different.

All different for sure. I have every sympathy for women who have a terrible time with either menopause or pregnancy- but I do find it a shame that it is now expected to be the norm- as though they are both illnesses.

What happened when you first visited your GP?

I was pretty much ignored and made to feel like I was wasting her time. "the menopause is a natural part of aging, you know" I was given "advice" on lifestyle changes.

Were you given good advice, and did you feel your GP listened to you?

In short, No.

Did you feel your GP was clued up about the
menopause?

Absolutely not. As a younger woman I think she thought I was exaggerating my symptoms.

What were your experiences of being prescribed medication, being referred on to more specialist services, or being given lifestyle advice - did these things happen in a way that you found beneficial?

After several visits and being continually put off, I felt that I wasn't being taken seriously. I literally begged for be prescribed HRT but was refused as my mum had been diagnosed with breast cancer at 61. My younger sister (with a different practise) had been offered HRT without even asking for it. On one particular visit I was very upset and feeling quite poorly due lack of sleep and on/off bleeding . I was eventually referred to a gynaecologist for further investigation who said he could see no reason whatsoever for me not to have a low dose HRT.

Is there anything else about the experience that we've missed?

I think that its clear that some GP's are more aware and clued up on menopause than others. I don't think its a case of male/female GP's either. I was made to feel like a bit of a weakling for admitting I could not cope with the symptoms .

I had my third daughter at 38, so never had a period after she was conceived in the March (born in October): at first I didn't realise that I was peri-menopausal, according to my French doctor. No HRT was offered or even discussed and I just carried on with life. Never noticed any problems, though osteoporosis did show up later on!

I’m going through it at the moment at 50. I went to theGP because I was barely functioning - I had bad depression, my memory was so bad I’d been referred to a neuropsychologist, I was having night sweats and periods which were so heavy I was anaemic. My GP (a woman of the same age) was brilliant and talked through the various options with me. She didn’t push one over the option but was very supportive of my decision to go onto HRT. I had tried various supplements but nothing really worked.

I’m still having a few problems so I’m going back to see the GP this week to see about tweaking my HRT. No point in ploughing on with unpleasant symptoms when there is help to be had.

Oh - I forgot the insomnia!

I feel very sorry for everyone who’s suffered a bad menopause. I hope research is being done on why there are such differences.

I also hope I don’t sound smug when I say my only symptom was that my periods just stopped. I was 56. For a couple of years afterwards I expected something else to change, but nothing did. I count myself very lucky.

SirChenjin ask for a referral to the menopause clinic.Gp's however sympathetic they are, aren't specialists in menopause.I see a fantastic Gynae doctor at my local hospital yearly .He has offered me a hysterectomy at any time within a week of asking .I'm happy on my HRT ,back to myself after a long time when I thought I'd be better off dead .

I had a partial hysterectomy ovaries and cervix left in my 20s.

Started having hot flushes in my late 40s went to my GP but was told i wouldn't go through the menopause as ovaries die over time.

Still having the hot flushes and other symptoms years later but no help from GP because of the hysterectomy.

Oh paddy ann, that's awful, your last words there.

I had an OK menopause but I woke up one day with a completely different body and huge chesticles.

paddyann that's a good idea, I didn't think of asking if that is available locally. I have a GP appointment tomorrow so will mention it to her - I'm now on my 10th day of a period (with cramps) that shows no sign of stopping. I've been on HRT for a year now and have never had it this bad since I've been on it, so I need to find out what's happening - I'm trying to work f/t and it's exhausting.

I can completely sympathise with your feelings about being better off dead - I felt exactly the same and fortunately I didn't do anything silly, although for a long time I thought that my family would be better off without me and it certainly seemed like a good option.

Since my last post on 27th July I have put myself back on my HRT patches.
FAN - BLOODY - TASTIC - I'm human again.
I can sleep again whoop whoop.
I am not exhausted all the time
I don't feel really 'down' all the time
I am full of energy and enthusiasm again
I am happy - not Mrs Grump any more!
I can make decisions again
No more headaches
No hot flushes and night sweats are significantly reduced

I am hoping that the hooded eyelids which appeared virtually overnight will recede too - and the turkey skin neck lol

I wish mine "just came on, and life continued" but no. I have been back and forth to my Doctor as she tries to help with a solution for a number of issues. (seems if there is no family history available, it is very hit and miss on what I am dealing with, thanks to my mom and her family, I am the first female in 3 generations to not have a full hysterectomy and I am the pioneer)
I honestly have every symptom out there, hot and yes cold flashes, dry hair, nails, skin, eyes and mouth. (won't elaborate on the vag). Bleeding gums, absolute brain fog, forgetfulness, aching joints and heightened arthritis pain in my hands. Lack of sexual interest, mood swings, crap sleep which I now medicate with Cannabis which has saved my life.
I go to the doctor only to be told Oh that is menopause grrrr great and what do I do about it... not too much because mom had breast cancer twice HRT is out of the question, but we can prescribe anti-depressants... OH NO YOU DON'T. I tried and they make me loopy, I can't go to work like this. So I just endure and pray most of these symptoms will pass over time. I think I liked my periods better than this cluster of crap.

Daizy - what anti depressant did you try? There are lots of different kinds and it may be worth trying a few at different doses. They shouldn't make you loopy if you're on the right one at the right level. I've just come off trazadone and it was wonderful while I was on it - it gave me my life back. I've been on others where I was rendered a zombie, and never again. Awful things.

Erratic periods and hot flushes for a few years, but other than that little discomfort. I can't even remember what age I was, possibly mid fifties. Too busy earning my living, paying the mortgage and coping with teenagers/ students to indulge in all the palava that seems to be expected nowadays.

Too busy earning my living, paying the mortgage and coping with teenagers/ students to indulge in all the palava that seems to be expected nowadays

I have all that and unfortunately all that 'palava' is affecting my life to the extent that I've had to go to the GP. If you didn't have anything more than erratic periods and hot flushes then be thankful - many women don't get away so lightly, and it's not an indulgence. Come on - try a bit of empathy, understanding and kindness.

lessismore Not said lightly ,there was a long time where I went to bed praying to not wake up ,or thinking about sliding under the water in the bath and finding ways of committing suicide so my family wouldn't think I wanted to leave them ..so they wouldn't hurt as much.A horrible time and I'm glad its over

I have joined here mainly for some help understanding what is happening to me.I am 52with a long history of eating disorders and hardly any regular spells of periods.For the last year I have had terrible nausea reflux anxiety anger sadness a really hot face sore lumpy breasts feeling faint and a few periods.It is hard to see a GP in my area then all I got was an endescope(clear)and PPI for acid.How long does this go on for?

I'm wondering if those of you who sailed through the menopause had light/ easy periods when you were menstruating? I'm almost 50 and peri-menopausal and dreading it as the women in my family have all had terrible heavy periods, then menopauses described as hideous and lasting up to ten years! Is there a link between menstrual cycle severity and worse menopauses?

Janus as I said in my earlier comment. I had horrendously heavy and erratic periods. Some days I couldn't leave the house. I had no cycle and could go a week or 9-10 wks between periods which lasted up to 12-14 days.
I had my last period on 27.10.05 I know as it was DD 18th birthday that was it finished I had one or two hot flushes after that's all
I have always said that my easy menopause was compensation for the previous 45 yrs.

I'm 49 and it seems as though I have been experiencing perimenopausal symptons for about a year now when it comes to weight. In 2016 I weighed about 158 and I'm 5'7. I decided to work hard and lose weight because I had always averaged about 130 to 145. I started counting my calories and working out with light weights about three days a week and lost quite a bit of weight. By the end of 2019 I was maintaining a weight of 118 - 120. Now, doing the same thing, I have been struggling to maintain an average of 130. So basically I am averaging an extra 10 lbs of weight but working even harder than before. I feel so bloated 20 days out if 30 days in the month. I feel like every day and every minute soneone is squeezing my waist as hard as they can and only feel relieve a few days out of the month. I have tried gas x and that doesn't help at all. I feel like I could pop. And that's almost 24 7. I do intermittent fasting too and still have the symptoms so I know it's not what I'm eating. Anyone dealing with the same?

I think I was lucky - periods stopped gradually until I was 55.
The only problem that followed was dry vagina and UTIs.
My GP at the time put me straight onto Vagifem - he was very against antibiotics (neededfor UTIs).