Gransnet forums

Menopause

Menopause - what was your experience?

(123 Posts)
LaraGransnet (GNHQ) Wed 24-Jul-19 15:36:56

We've read all your your discussions on the menopause, and been struck by how varied people's experiences have been when you've tried to seek help from medical professionals. We wanted to find out more and, if something needs to change, perhaps base a Gransnet campaign around it.

So, please share your experiences on this thread.
- What happened when you first visited your GP?
- Were you given good advice, and did you feel your GP listened to you?
- Did you feel your GP was clued up about the menopause?
- What were your experiences of being prescribed medication, being referred on to more specialist services, or being given lifestyle advice - did these things happen in a way that you found beneficial?
- Is there anything else about the experience that we've missed?

It would be great to get a sense of what the biggest challenges and issues are.
Thanks smile

lovebeigecardigans1955 Sat 27-Jul-19 14:42:06

I didn't go the GP about the menopause itself - I just toughed it out except when my periods became so heavy they were unbearable. I was put on a tablet which 'made them a non-event', though it wasn't quite as miraculous as that.
The nurse at the surgery said to see them 'if they became a bother' to me.
I found the staff there very nice and supportive. I said I didn't want to go on HRT and this was respected.

HazelG Sat 27-Jul-19 15:06:06

I think I cheated menopause. I had cervical cancer cells diagnosed when I was thirty and this was swiftly followed by a hysterectomy, I was put on HRT because of my age at the time and was on them right up until last year when I weaned off them at my Dr's advice. I have had no menopause symptoms.

harrigran Sat 27-Jul-19 15:11:31

I am another who just happened to have the menopause, no medical intervention. I did once or twice take tablets to delay onset of period because they were heavy and I was going on holiday.
I have never had a hot flush and I was definitely not moody or bad tempered wink

Patticake123 Sat 27-Jul-19 16:35:36

For me menopause was positive. I had extremely heavy periods but resisted seeing anyone about it until one day I stood up in front of a room full of students and bled all over the floor. I requested a speedy referral to see a gynaecologist and as the NHS wait was several months, I opted to pay to see someone quickly. I had an enormous polyp removed from my cervix, the bleeding stopped and that was the end of those horrible days. And so, personally, once I had some minor surgery, it was a good experience.

Wiltshiregrams Sat 27-Jul-19 17:34:06

I used to get dreadful PMT - the I want to kill kind of PMT and very heavy periods. My two daughters were dreading my menopause. Like many others it seems, I had no symptoms at all. My periods tailed of at 50 and life continued but without the dreadful mood swings and feeling uncomfortable. I really do feel for those that suffer badly during menopause, quite a few of my friends have.

Bamm Sat 27-Jul-19 17:55:03

Didn't go to doctor, no HRT. Only symptom was hot flushes and tried changing diet which helped; cut right down on caffiene, alcohol and sugar .

Shizam Sat 27-Jul-19 18:32:53

My symptoms were diagnosed by a spectacularly useless GP as the menopause. Turned out to be appendicitis. Having it removed solved problem. And luckily for me, touch wood etc, menopause has been fine. Needs to spoken about more, though. Why is it so many of things to do with women are taboo subjects?

lizzypopbottle Sat 27-Jul-19 18:33:40

I know some people have a terrible time with menopause but I'm joining the the non-event camp. My periods actually, finally became regular, then less frequent, then stopped altogether. My mother told me she'd had a hot flush but didn't like it so she resolved never to have another! I resolved never to have any!

Legs55 Sat 27-Jul-19 18:46:26

I missed a couple of periods & then they stopped, relief as I'd always had heavy periods & lots of pain. I was glad I didn't need HRT as I'm Epileptic which limits what I could take. I was 53, 11 months after my last period I had a light one, cue visit to GP who checked whether he needed to refer me, luckily as I didn't have any more bleeds I didn't need a referral. Yes I do know I'm lucky & really feel for those who have/are suffering, I'm not smug but of course I can't really understand how bad it is for others. No shame in seeking GP's help.

Hetty58 Sat 27-Jul-19 18:51:27

'Menopause, what was your experience?' was the question. It's followed by an assumption that you'd see the GP.

About one in four women need some help from the GP. Most of us cope without it. It's a natural process - not an illness!

Grandmama Sat 27-Jul-19 19:39:20

I didn't even the notice the menopause! No problems whatsoever. Can't even remember when it occurred.

SunnySusie Sat 27-Jul-19 21:50:59

My symptoms were mainly hot flushes, mostly at night. My sleep was punctuated at all too regular intervals with the dreaded waves of heat and off would come all of the bedclothes, followed by being too cold and having to put them on again. This was age 45. For about two years I barely slept and was struggling to hold down my job. In the end I went to the GP and he immediately put me on HRT. There had been very little publicity about the risks at the time and we didnt discuss them, nor did I ask any questions. I felt like a million dollars on the pills and the hot flushes stopped so I could sleep. I had repeat prescriptions with the occasional check on my blood pressure for 5 years. At one check my regular GP was on holiday and the locum told me straight up that in her opinion I had been on HRT long enough and it wasnt safe for women over 50. I stopped taking it straight away and back came the hot flushes, lack of sleep and constant tiredness. All of a sudden I felt old and worn out. Eventually after another couple of years the hot flushes very gradually tailed off. I have never felt as well as I did on HRT, but I have worked hard on my health and exercise and no longer feel tired all the time. In retrospect and having lost two friends to breast cancer I would not make the same decision if I had my time again. Although the HRT was wonderful I shudder now to think of the risk I was taking and I believe it only delayed the worst of the menopause symtoms and didnt get rid of them.

cassandra264 Sat 27-Jul-19 22:49:56

GPs and local Well Woman clinic extremely helpful. Having been diagnosed with extensive endometriosis in my forties, I was told by several doctors in both places that I had no choice but to have a total hysterectomy. I had to be on HRT as a result for several years thereafter as the advice was at the time that otherwise it would be too much for my body to cope with.
Suspect now that the op and the HRT was in part responsible for an almost instant change in my metabolism - and weight problems I had never ever had before - BUT I missed out on all the other nightmarish aspects of what people then called The Change in hushed and horrified tones....I count myself very lucky to live in the First World and, moreover,to have been able to have this op on the NHS.

Nanna58 Sat 27-Jul-19 23:30:03

Lucky are those who are posting that the menopause caused them no problems. However for those like me who found the flushes, insomnia, mood swings and vaginal discomfort too much and opted for HRT let’s just be thankful for medical help and, hopefully, a sympathetic GP.

Lindsay1234 Sun 28-Jul-19 00:44:01

At 47 years old in 2003, I was experiencing the male menopause. I
I was diagnosed as a bipolar affective disorder sufferer (manic depression was the old diagnosis). I was evidently denied my claim to this. I was discriminated and victimised

discodiva Sun 28-Jul-19 01:50:25

After 10 years I still have hot flushes but only one or two a day.

Whilst I was still working I went to my GP who was brilliant and although initially I had success with HRT to stop the night sweats and hot flushes, the side effects were awful, constant bleeding, tender breasts, insomnia, severe headaches. I then tried over the next 4 years three different types of HRT but none gave me normality, so in the end I decided not to bother.

Funny enough I'm not sleeping at the moment but I think that may be down to the coffee I had 4 hours ago. Big mistake. Never learn

BradfordLass72 Sun 28-Jul-19 02:24:25

I was fortunate not to have any symptoms bad enough to send me to my GP. No hot flushes, mood swings, weigh gain or the like.

But when I was 2 years into it (or so I thought) I was hit with depression and only when I realised I couldn't not shake, cajole or threaten myself out of the situation, did I ask for help.

It took some persuasion by my GP to try Prozac but it gave me myself back within a short time and I took it for the recommended 6 months.

Since then, my research has shown that women never completely get rid of 'the cycle' even if the symptoms reduce to almost un-noticeable.

Every 6 weeks or so, I still get the strong arthritic pain I used to get before a period and then it fades until next time.

I also find I have a few days now and then when my tolerance is very thin grin

glammagran Sun 28-Jul-19 10:40:21

Why do some posters assume that because they haven’t experienced problems that it’s a “natural event” and therefore not worth bothering a gp with. Lucky them! Genetic cancer is a natural event but nobody would assume not having it treated.

I had a terrible peri-menopause - 10 day long periods when I could hardly walk across a room, migraines, hot sweats that felt I would leave a puddle of water on the ground, insomnia, aching joints, the full McCoy. At 49 I went on HRT for 18 months which was an improvement of sorts. Then I stopped taking it to find my periods too had stopped and then shortly after all my symptoms went and I felt very well through my 50’s. Now at 63 some of these symptoms are returning like headaches, sweating and aching joints. Not sure what to do.

Hetty58 Sun 28-Jul-19 10:50:21

Glammagran, I said exactly that but what I meant was that it's not, by definition, a medical matter. Three quarters of us don't need any medical intervention as it's not an illness. Therefore it shouldn't be referred to as one.

I do realise that many women feel very ill with it. At times, I did, with hot flushes, night sweats and insomnia. I tried the Black Cohosh and Red Clover, linen sheets, open windows etc. but never considered HRT as I'd be more worried about taking that than just waiting it out.

vena11 Sun 28-Jul-19 11:15:33

I sailed through the menopause with out much trouble then at 62 I developed breast cancer had chemo the lot, now I am on hormone tabs for 10 years with symptoms of the menopause night sweats the lot but at least I am still here.

M0nica Sun 28-Jul-19 11:37:48

Apart from fibroids, which clear themselves naturally after the menopause, life just continued as normal and then my periods stopped. Only contact with doctor was over fibroids.

Grannyjay Sun 28-Jul-19 13:00:02

I first started to experience a feeling of despair and a moment later I would have a hot flush. It took me a while to connect the two. When I did, I would say you feel really low and a flush is coming. I started to forget what I had done at work as felt overwhelmed with the amount of admin to do and rembering what I had done or said. It was frightening so everything I filed or typed or posted or telephoned I wrote down in a day diary so when colleagues wanted to know anything they could just read it in the book. That took a lot of stress off me with them not constantly bombarding me with questions. Around the 14th day of the month I had an overwhelming depth of depression which passed a few days later. I eventually gave up sugar which I’m sure helped the mood swings and caffeine triggered flushes or anything hot. I ended up on anti depressants for 12 months which helped me get back on track. We have to be kind to ourselves as it isn’t always a pleasant thing for some. I’ve met very professional people who go through the same mix of emotional trauma as the next person. I will add I had a very supportive doctor too.

FlexibleFriend Sun 28-Jul-19 14:45:20

Some of us can't take hrt, I have a blood clotting disorder so suffered constant heavy bleeding resulting in life threatening blood loss and anemia. Twice ending up in hospital having lost half my blood volume on the kitchen floor. So it was a medical issue for me. I still at 64 suffer with one continual hot flush, it never ends and I sweat so much especially my face and head that I drip constantly. I get out of bed and there's a puddle of sweat on the sheet where I've been laying. I have windows open all year round and fans going non stop throughout the year. Two in the bedroom on maximum and two in the lounge doing the same and others placed around the house to keep a constant flow of air. So not only is it a medical issue for me there is also a huge financial cost. Those of you who breezed through it, congratulations. I always thought I too would breeze through it, my periods had always been light and trouble free until the menopause hit and and all hell broke loose. At least the bleeding is under control now but that's because I take medication to control it, never mind that medication puts my life at risk, as it causes clotting something I'm already prone to, but hey you have to weigh up the pros and cons. So just because you've personally never suffered with the menopause don't make out it's no big deal for those that have. Have a little empathy.

newgran2019 Sun 28-Jul-19 18:12:09

I had a partial hysterectomy at 48 while still having regular periods, so don't really know when my menopause happened. I haven't had trouble with the 'traditional' complaints but I did have a series of unusually bad anxiety attacks and was put on Citalopram for a time, but that might just as much be down to moving house, children leaving home, husband retiring, mother moving nearby and relying excessively on us, etc. all in the space of four years.

After 35 years of heavy and painful periods I think I got off quite lightly when it came to menopause - but one never knows when the symptoms might start/come back. I didn't fancy HRT - strokes in my family anyway - but might have tried it if life had got too bad.

paddyann Sun 28-Jul-19 21:41:19

narrowboatnan Thanks for posting about your suicidal thoughts I was exactly the same and its something I never told anyone.Thinking of ways that would look accidental mainly because I didn't want my family to be hurt by believeing its something I chose to do and of course so they would get mu insurances too.I really have thought I was the only person to go through this with menopause ,so thank you once again for sharing .