Bad temper!

vissos. I am sorry that you were misled all these years ago regarding HRT. There were plant based preparations available extracted from yams and soya even in those days.
I know this as I was put on estradiol implants 31 years ago and intend to continue on HRT for the rest of my life.

I am 64 and obviously well into menopause, however I swear my personality is still changing and not for the better. I am more combative than I’ve ever been, impatient, aggressive in my thoughts but not my actions [thank goodness], I’m so straight talking these days I’ve lost friends and fallen out with people. I really don’t like it but it seems beyond my control; I’ve done or said something before my reasonable side can step in - if it exists. Would HRT help? Would I even be offered it? I worry that if I continue like this I’ll alienate everyone.

Found this thread through a GN article on the menopause. I've been having symptoms for 22 years and the doctor just said there's nothing I can do. Stupidly, I believed him...
Been vegan 30 years and as, at the time, HRT meant Premarin (pregnant mare's urine) I didn't even give it a thought - after all, it's a natural condition, I was prepared to wait it out. I've recently been asking friends if I was 'always like this' as I can't remember. VERY low self esteem, low mood, irritability, mood swings, hot flushes & night sweats (a recent innovation, am now sleeping on a towel). Luckily, I live alone!
Thanks for this - am now going to see if I can find a menopause - I would say specialist, but more an interested - doctor and/or clinic. And will try some of the (vegan) suggestions here that I haven't already. I already consume a ton of soya - my milk of choice.
And good luck Jenpax.

Hi thanks for replies.
I am already a vegetarian (30+ years) I eat a very healthy balanced diet.
I am not suggesting that it is an illness obviously! but it isn’t nice to feel irritable and moody pretty constantly; this is why I wanted to ask advice

Jenpax

I very much doubt that the doctors will prescribe HRT for you
as your mum and grandmother have had cancer.

I would have continued to take HRT as it does work on most systems but as I have got 3 primary cancers I was told it would no longer be prescribed for me.I am the only one in my family to get it but know from the doctors questions if I had close female relations with a history of cancer
I wouldn’t have been given it in the first place.
You really do need a good chat with your doctor
Hope things go well for you.

HRT is artificial and messing with the female hormones. You can do it naturally, eat a very good diet and include nuts, seeds and soya and be busy. We all have to go through it at some stage. May women do have to change their diet. Those who eat wholefoods and a veggie/vegan diet will likely have an easier transition and it is just that, transition from being a fertile woman to being an older wise woman, unfortunately not respected as such in our society so there are also psychological pressures to stay forever young. Go with it, the other side is good

jenpax, I was bad tempered and irritable for several years in my fifties. I never felt that it was something I had to 'fix' though, just waited it out.

I could warn people, apologise even, but along with a group of other teachers, all going through the same, we'd snap at each other, complain - and often laugh about it.

Only a few, completely debilitated by the 'change', felt the need for HRT. After all, it's a natural process, not an illness!

Hi all thanks for your many supportive comments.
I haven’t been confirmed as menopausal but given that I am in my mid 50’s it seemed a likely cause for my symptoms. If it wasn’t for the ill temper I could cope with the other less debilitating symptom of night waking.
I hadn’t heard of a menopause clinic so I will ask my GP about this and in the meantime take a look at some of the natural remedies suggested
I am worried about HRT and cancer, this is because both my mother and maternal grandmother had breast cancer, this is quite a close connection for me as I am an only child as was my mother and so the usual questions about siblings or aunts doesn’t apply. However I will consider this route again. So far I have just been trying to power through, avoid people when I feel bad tempered or intolerant etc but this is difficult with family and despite explaining I don’t think they really get it.

Have a check up - could be thyroid levels, and nothing to do with menopause, which can make you extremely bad tempered.

I am not angry, but do cry at the drop of a hat over the silliest of things. Reluctant to take HRT as my sister had breast cancer and I was told that this put me at increased risk.

I take Starflower capsules and Soy Isoflavones, both from www.healthspan.co.uk
Didn't fancy HRT: Mum developed breast cancer after taking it and needed a mastectomy.

Lots of things are "natural" that doesn't mean we have to suffer for years or like me decades .If help is available please dont let anyone make you feel that because its"natural" you cant ask for help.The risks are minimal but you do need to speak to a menopause specialist and get the right HRT for you .

I had something like 17 lots of HRT pills, patches, injections etc and my better half told me every time they were failing and I wouldn't have it! The only advice I can give is to speak to a GP and try and find something that suits you - HRT, homeopathic remedies, essential oils etc. Anything (well, anything legal and half-sensible) that can make you feel a bit better and make life easier on your loved ones is worth a try. I was very young for menopause and [apparently] made life hell for everyone around me with sweating, irritability, constant crying (and not always knowing why, or for dumb reasons) etc - like you I snapped a lot. Took a few years and a VERY patient better half but think we either got there, or learned to live with it! Remember this is a fairly common set of symptoms even if it feels isolating at the time - there is help out there and I hope you find a solution and start feeling better soon. Good luck

The hot flushes were the worst thing for me. I took high strength Evening Primrose Oil Capsules. Brilliant!!

I didn't know the menopause had happened to me, felt no change at all. But because of my outdoor life style I wanted to retain my bone strength and my Doctor agreed to put me on HRT. 10 months later I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Now of course I don't know that caused it but I do suspect it pushed me over the edge with oestrogen and my cancer was oestrogen fuelled. So I would think very carefully indeed about HRT. Going through the menopause is natural but putting extra oestrogen into your body isn't. I very much regret my decision to take HRT but at the end of the day I am still alive and kicking but been a horrible journey to get to where I am today.

I have been advised by breast clinic to take 1500 mg starflower oil daily as has more GLA in than evening primrose oil to help regulate hormones. I also take menopause support vitamin tablet each day.seems to work well.The only thing left to solve is no libido whatsoever. Not had intercourse for 3 years but I'm not bothered.OH KEEPS HOPING IT WILL COME BACK!!!!

Jenpax- have you tried any herbal supplements? My friend had all the horrible side effects of menopause and found Pukka menopause capsules helped her greatly. She said you have to take two a day and they really can help with every symptom. You may even take them as well as HRT if you so wish, but I know many women choose not to take HRT if they’ve had a history of cancer. It’s worth a go for three or four months to see if symptoms ease. No harsh chemicals in them either.

Can anyone suggest a way of getting rid of head grease marks from back of sofa please?

Symptoms lessen and worsten, come and go. You can just wait it out, though, and be kind to yourself.

I tried Evening Primrose, Black Cohosh and Red Clover - but was never convinced that they made any difference.

I went through my menopause and didnt know it. I was on the Depo contraceptive injection for many years and apparently had my menopause whilst on it. It was the nurse at my then surgery who refused to give me any more injections and was not very helpful as to other forms of contraception apart from the obvious. I was offered HRT but decided not to take it when I read of the side effects. Since then I have had a prolapse and had a hysterectomy and repair. My Consultant gave me hormonal pessaries to strengthen my walls in preparation. Since then I have discovered that I have another prolapse and have been referred back to my Consultant. (Need to get my current condition sorted out first)

In your position I would research what benefits I could get from natural remedies and maybe chat to your GP again. I have a friend who is going through a terrible menopause and cannot get the HRT she needs. This is an affliction that people dont like to talk about and we should all be better informed.

For those you can't (and those who can) take HRT there are some dietary suggestions that may help

Get an appoinment at a menopause clinic they might speak to you by phone.I had the menopause form hell I would certainly be dicorced and maybe dead if I hadn't got HRT .The gynaecologist I see yearly has said I can stay on it for life.I'm back to my normal laid back self and I am so pleased about that .I have BP problems and have done since I had pre eclampsia 43 years an s 34 years ago but the risk is very small and well worth taking .Good luck with it .I tried everything known to man and HRT is the only thing that worked

As for putting off the inevitable, the answer to that is not to stop the HRT.
I've been on it for over 30 years and compared to my peers I am healthier, younger looking and still able to work a full day on my feet.
My mother, when in her 70's had crippling osteoporosis, and was frankly an old woman.

Menopause symtoms so awful for me I took HRT for 6 years and never really looked back, I guess it all depends on the individual, weighing up pros and cons, underlying conditions etc, last but not least the quality of life.

Oh gosh, I too had got angry and was so confrontational during my surgically induced menopause... the poor hubby couldnt breathe without me yelling at him. I decided to go to the GP and chat about hrt... I have an incurable cancer, heart failure etc so was a bit wary of taking anything. Ot got to the point that I would wake up in an absolute rage!! Decided to take the hrt as I couldnt cope with being that angry all the time and felt the benefit for me outweighed the risk.. two years on I am back to me again, good luck with what you decide x