Tia

Crimson think you are right about all the flowers and paraphernalia staring with Diana, just remember seeing loads of flowers and teddy bears set out for a shrine for Baby P. One of the most upsetting cases over the past few years, I don't know why people feel they have to set up these shrines. The baby died alone in a filthy cot in immense pain and I doubt whether any of these people knew him. It would be better to send the money spent on flowers, soft toys and the like to the NSPCC

Not at all crimson. We all express emotions in a variety of ways. I do not favour the flowers/soft toys/candles tributes, but can understand why many people feel better for making a public display of their personal grief. I have made it crystal clear to my family, that I wish to go out with a sigh. No big show. No flowers. No mournful attire. Cheapest/simplest coffin on the market. Straightforward cremation, apart from any body parts that may enhance another's life, followed by a gathering of those I've loved on the beach across the road. Scattering of ashes into the sea. Raise a glass of cheer and sing 'Westering Home....'

I agree with your sentiments there, crimson. It's as if they want to soak up the drama of the awful thing that's happened. Years ago I went to a funeral I shouldn't have gone to. It was the funeral of a child that I didn't know and I barely knew the mother. In a way, I think my friend and I went there as a way of supporting the grandmother with whom we worked, but I know (now) I had no right to be there. It wasn't my grief, and my being there did nothing to support the family at all. I still feel quite ashamed of myself for going.

And, yes, I question all these candles and flowers. I know it all started with Diana, but we did all, somehow, feel that we knew her [to me she was the patron saint of dysfunctional women everywhere and I loved her for it]. I somehow feel that a lot of these people get some sort of pleasure out of involving themselves in, what is or should be a private grief. Is it bad of me to think that?

Alison; I've often wondered about that. The police obviously realise pretty quickly when they have a potential murder enquiry on their hands.

It seems from the latest news is that Tia was unfortunately suffocated. As the "step grandfather" has been charged, until the full facts are revealed about this case, it appears ever more likely that he is the guilty party. Obviously it's not fair to make a judgement about what happened and why, but at the moment it does remind me somewhat of the Shannon Matthews case with the over the top declarations by Stuart Hazell something along the lines of "it's not about me and we've got to get her home", as if indeed he had killed her, he would know that that's not a possibility. So sad for her mother to lose her lovely girl in this horrible way, I think all those who have been bereaved and are directly affected in this awful crime should be left to grieve privately without the whole drama fest that surrounds anything like this these days with the ubiquitous heaps of flowers, teddy bears and letters etc.

One paper/news station hears about one murder/missing person and the rest all follow. Perhaps it's staff cuts?!

Ditto some murders.

That worries me too, why are some pushed more in the media.

No need to apologize at all glass

I don't understand why when some children go missing the press take it up but then others go missing and we never hear about it. Can someone explain please? DS3 has a friend who works on a missing children project and apparently many go missing each month but we don't hear about them.

There is good and bad in all levels of society. My apologies for my rant last night it was not the time for ranting, our thoughts should be with Tia and her family.

I wholeheartedly agree with the last two posts.

Absolutely right! Nfk

There are good and bad in all areas. Dysfunctional families are everywhere. It's just that the better off, for whom appearance matters more, are better at hiding it. The media are like geese all running in the same direction and squawking. They are the worst for stereotyping.

merlotgran I did not like your response to my post which felt targeted and personal.

I believe we do all have prejudices & if we think we do not that can compound the problem. Admitting we do respond with prejudice and trying to make ourselves face that is healthier.

I was merely pointing out some of the ones the media promote ..not necessarily my own! Re plumbers I was reflecting attitudes met by my SiL.

I was trying, but not well enough, to point out how the media often respond to crimes differently depending on class of victim/ alleged perpetrator and that this can sometimes harm a trial both for victim and accused.

It is a terrible and shocking tragedy that this young life has been cut so tragically short and, apparently by someone who should have been taking care of her. I know the area she lived in quite well and the schools she attended.. last year I worked in the primary and my younger daughter attended the same high school.

Lessons will be learned? Not again!

A spokesman for the Met said this am that the loft (where poor child was eventually found) had been searched on Day 1 without success because of 'human error'. I expect lessons will be learned. I cannot imagine how that extended family will be dealing with this.

Too bad if the grandmother is innocent; she is already a hate figure for half the country, if not three quarters.

I suppose we will have the usual spectacle of a baying crowd spitting and screaming vitriol at the police vehicle carrying the accused to and from court.

Just heard the Grandmother's boyfriend has been arrested and the grandmother may be released on bail. Exactly where is she going to go? Not home, that's for sure.

DH suggested that the body may have been moved and then replaced. Sound unlikely without help but how on earth did the police fail to find the poor girl if she was there all the time? It's not a very big house after all.

pogs what you mentioned had also crossed my mind over the past day or two as the house would have been searched as soon as the report of this poor child had gone missing or so I understand that is the procedure that the Police take,when my DGD went missing last summer the Police came and went under all the beds and in warderobes and shed in garden as soon as they arrived at my DDs house.*mr g* found her at the swings with some bigger girls and she was too frightened to come home across the Rd by herself so stayed out late until the girls where ready to come home very frightening experience for us all.I find it very hard to comprehend the grandmothers involvement in this and prey that the Police are proved wrong but we will never know what goes on behind closed doors will we ?A very well to do family not far from here a pillar of community so to speak had systematically abused their children for 12 yrs before the eldest reported it in secondary school because the treatment they underwent at home was normal to them ?? beyond belief.RIP Tia may God Bless You x

The photographs of Hazell are shocking. He is younger than either of my sons and looks about 50 - the effect of a drug habit and, I imagine, smoking as well. One addiction is not enough.

Anything's possible, POGS. I hear Hazell has now been charged with murder and grandmother has been released on bail.

Anagram.

Sorry went to bed.

What I meant was, I am very surprised after 4 searches with both humans and canines her body was not found. Could the neighbour have held her body whilst the searches took place?.

They had plenty of time to move her body before they reported her missing, surely it would stupid not to!.

As I say I can wander into fiction so just a thought.