Tom Daley

I've followed Tom Daley's career with great interest as he lives in Plymouth, my home city when I was young.
His announcement took a lot of courage, and makes no difference whatsoever to how I admire his dedication to diving. Most people feel the same, I expect. But there are bound to be some cyber bullies out there who will probably give him a hard time, sadly.
The best of luck to him. Loads of us will still support him.

He's been bullied and harrased online, so has taken the power back by speaking about his new relationship with a guy - good for him. He will have done himself some good, and some young people who lack the confidence to come out will appreciate what he's done. Speaking as the mum of a son who has dated both boys and girls, and has recently got engaged to a lovely young woman. He has always been open about his sexual attraction to both sexes (we call it greedy in my family!! ) Tom Daley will find life easier by being able to make his own choices without wondering whether someone is going to make hurtful comments. It shouldn't be like that, but there are many small-minded people out there.

I can't say this has come as any surprise to me. I wish him every happiness in his new relationship.

What a refreshing attitude when. Greedy . Wish I had a like emoticon.

Is it really such a hard thing for him to do? I wouldn't have thought anyone cared a jot these days.

I get quite a lot of gay pride type propaganda on my facebook from one gay friend and I want to say, what's the fuss all about? I don't go on about being straight so what is the big issue. No other gay friends go on and on about it.

Agree with NOnnie it is no Biggy these days , if people are gay so what !

nonnie The big issue is that, contrary to you view that nobody cares a jot, there are still vicious attacks (both physical and verbal) on gay people - one indicator of this sort of attitude is the online harrassment.

I'm sure it takes a lot of courage to come out when you have such a high public profile - why do you think so few footballers have felt able to come out?

Eloethan how do we know there are gay footballers who haven't come out?

Certainly none of my friends think it is an issue these days. I think that is rather an outdated idea and I disagree that it is a big issue. I think most gay people are nowadays happy to be 'out' and it would only be a very few small minded people who made any kind of attack. TD said he was bullied at school but it was nothing to do with his sexuality, it was his diving.

In the last 10 years or so such things are of little interest to the majority.

Depends where you live and what social and professional circles you move in, nonnie. It's not a big issue here in Manchester and many other large towns and cities, but in some places and some jobs, it's difficult for gay people to be open. Shouldn't be like that, but sadly.......

I am with the group who feel that it really does not matter these days, where as once of course it was a crime, but we are more enlightened, (or some of us are) and it takes all sorts to make the world go round, none of us have the right to say how people live their lives, provided of course it is within the law, and harms no-one. I felt very sad one time when talking to a very close 'macho' man who has two absolutely lovely 'macho' sons, and he said 'I do not know what I would do if one of my sons told me he was gay'. Although I did not say anything to him at the time, I thought 'how on earth could one of your sons ever tell you?' It obviously takes courage.

www.theguardian.com/world/2013/aug/25/homophobia-uk-survey

Here's an article that reports footballers as being scared to come out because of the backlash from fans.

I'm surprised my 'gaydar' didn't pick this one up. not that I give a jot. It's nobodies business but his.

DD's response was 'did you not see that one coming?' No, I really didn't.

I want to know why there are now so many "gay" people in the world, there are millions of them, it is like an epidemic. Is it because it is fashionable or "cool"? When I was growing up we were vaguely aware that there were people in the world who were "different" and it wasn't talked about, but they were very much in the minority. I know they were afraid to "come out," but surely there weren't that many of them all hiding behind closed doors. Now it seems every other person knows someone who is "gay". I have nothing against them whatsoever, I just don't understand it.

Don't forget homosexuality was illegal in England and Wales until 1967. I think many gay men (and women) stifled their natural instincts in an attempt to have a 'normal' family life and avoid the risk of rejection by society in general.

I think a lot of them married to go with the flow and then lived a pretty miserable life, or became a bachelor aunt or uncle who never married. Men with means joined a gentlemen's club and had their housework and meals looked after for them, and went out from the club in the evening with no wife to worry where they were. They went into show business where attitudes were less critical. Some of the women took up sport or exploring. Then there were the single ladies "left on the shelf" who never married but lived with a friend as spinsters - who knew what their private life was like?

The rich ones did what they wanted and were just considered eccentric, the lives of some aristocrats would make your hair curl. Not so easy for the poor if they needed to be respectable to get work.

There were certainly places where those with different sexual orientation or dress preferences went to meet. When in Brighton I lived in a flat converted from the big house of Kate Merrick, a doctor's wife who in the twenties was called the "nightclub queen". She ran several London nightclubs, and was arrested more than once for the conduct that took place in them. Newspaper reports spoke of cross-dressers and people of various indeterminate sexes, all dancing with one another and "carrying on". That kind of thing was not legal, but it went on.

She had three daughters, all of whom were expensively educated and introduced into the best society. They all married into the peerage. newspaper report

The world of sport and the world in which most of us live are rather different. I don't know much about swimmers and divers, but certainly there are considerable risks of, at the very least, "unpleasantness" in admitting to being gay if you play football, rugby or basketball. Other macho activities – such as the police force – have similar problems.

Words like pooftah, shirtlifter, queer and far nastier terms remain commonplace in some quarters.

I cannot understand why he or any one else felt they had to make such a production number of his choice of partner. My immediate reaction to the announcement was 'So what'

My first reaction to his self-outing was that he might have found out that the tabloids were sniffing around and this was much preferable to being outed by them.

whenim64 you are right about it depending on where you live, people who live in cities are far more used to seeing all sorts of people and cultures and ways of life around them. I have heard more anti-gay remarks in rural villages than in any city or large town, and I have lived in a few. I have a few friends from the past in the hotel industry and find that when they come to visit, I am very careful where I take the more flamboyant ones and their partners, I would hate their outings to be spoilt by ignorant comments. I was also appalled recently by the comments I saw on my son's gay schoolfriend's facebook page, I'm so disappointed in what I had previously thought of as nice boys.

I grew up very closeto the Docks in Woolwich. When I was about 10 a man came to our house and told my Mum that he was in love with my Dad. If you knew my Dad you would know what a joke this was.( he went to prison twice for GBH.
My Mum had a friend who dressed in men's clothes. As children we saw men in makeup. So you see, all through my life I have been confused/ angry at people's attitude to 'gay' people.

My mother and I used to know a chap (seemed like a nice boy!) who lived with his ferocious old mother. My grandmother was complaining about some of the derogatory remarks she had heard about him "I don't know why people are so nasty about him" she said "He was very popular in the Navy!" To which the only answer was "I expect he was!" I wonder if he ever got away from his dreadful mother and made some sort of life for himself.

Looking back I realise that this was when homosexuality was still illegal, but we knew a pair of theatrical agents who lived together openly with their baby (a jack russell) A friend of ours used to look after the dog when they were out -she was a devout catholic but never had any problem with them, they were just a couple like any other as far as we were concerned.

Just remembered a young man I knew a few years ago. He made a disastrous marriage which broke up after a couple of years. Recently I came across him on facebook, living happily with his boyfriend. All his previous unsuccessful relationships were explained in a flash, but what a lot of time he'd wasted trying to prove he was "normal"

At first the reaction to this announcement would be ' so what ' . Most of us wouldn't give it a second thought but unfortunately some parts of the world it's a completely different matter, in fact it's illegal in some countries.
Bearing this in mind does he still compete in his sport of diving?
If he still does how will he be treated in these countries where being gay means that you have to live a life in fear.
To be the winner in a diving competition means getting high points from judges, and if he is in a country with appalling human rights, will the judges from those countries be ' persuaded to score low '?

Well, Clare Balding is off to Russia, and again, so what if a newspaper announces he has a male/female or any other kind of partner.

The best we can do to face down countries who have antidiluvian attitudes is to treat the whole question of partner choice as a purely private decision of no interest to anybody except their friends and family.