Gransnet forums

News & politics

Tom Daley

(55 Posts)
sunseeker Tue 03-Dec-13 13:43:53

On local radio this morning there was a long discussion about his statement that he was now in a relationship with a man, although he has said he still likes girls. There has also been a discussion on Radio 2. Why are people so concerned with a persons sexuality? As far as I am concerned it makes no difference to my opinion of him, he seems a pleasant enough chap - but I'm not interested in his sport so don't know that much about him, although I now know more about him that I particularly wanted to!

I have always held the view that you can't help who you fall in love with and if that person is of the same sex - then so what.

Deedaa Thu 05-Dec-13 20:59:05

Some years ago I remember seeing a person who wasn't either sex on a chat show. An absolutely fascinating person, born with out ovaries or testes and therefore not affected by hormones at all. I don't think I've ever seen anyone so obviously happy in their own skin. He/she/it wore a mixture of male and female clothes and at one minute would look like a beautiful girl and then a slight change of expression and there was a handsome young man. It made me realise what a lot of problems are caused by sex - of whatever persuasion. I suppose a world without desire and sexual jealousy and aggression would get boring, but it might be more peaceful.

NfkDumpling Thu 05-Dec-13 12:37:51

I agree Nonnie. Is there still a black policemens union?

Nonnie Thu 05-Dec-13 12:13:47

I agree, why is there a need for 'minorities' these days to 'celebrate' that they are different? Why do we have a black dance company? Why not a white dance company? IMO the arts have long been past any sort of discrimination.

Atqui Thu 05-Dec-13 11:21:01

Perhaps a few years ago it was a good idea, when there were so many more homophobic people about,but most young people are very accepting.

Atqui Thu 05-Dec-13 11:17:45

I agree with Absent.Why the need for a march if you don't want to be defined by your sexuality.

Granny23 Thu 05-Dec-13 04:54:19

I think that day may be a long time coming when the first question about a new born is still 'boy or girl' and expectations of the baby's future role in the world are set from that moment on. It is hard enough to be true to yourself and challenge gender stereotyping in a world where there remains strict demarcation between boys teams and girls teams, boy's clothes and girl's clothes and boy's toys and girl's toys when at least your sexuality conforms to the accepted norm, without having to exist in a world where you will be perpetually in a minority as regards a central part of your being. It must be difficult to accept that you are a whole individual person, the sum of all your parts when society sticks a big label on you and sees that as your defining characteristic. It is like forcing Jews to wear a star of David, such that they are permanently one of 'them' rather than one of 'us'. sad

absent Thu 05-Dec-13 04:17:13

I look forward to the day when people who aren't heterosexual no longer feel that they have to define themselves by their sexuality. It's only one part of anyone's existence. Gay Pride does of course, have a place in our strangely tolerant/intolerant society but can anyone imagine a Straight Pride event? I love my friends because their are clever, charming, kind, generous, fun – whatever. Straight, gay, bi, trans, asexual has nothing to do with it really.

laidback Thu 05-Dec-13 01:51:18

I love sport and I've followed Tom from a young age he's achieved a awful lot for a young man. I think it was obvious from a young age he was gay( I work in the arts.....) ...so what, he's a great sportsman, great bod! I hate splash!!

Ana Wed 04-Dec-13 21:59:35

Oh, that's strange, Granny23 because I hadn't even thought of it until I read the title of this thread the other day, and haven't been able to get that awful song out of my head ever since....!

Granny23 Wed 04-Dec-13 21:55:13

Can't pretend to be interested in Tom Daley's life or 'lifestyle'. I only recognise the name because every time I see or hear it I think of that mournful dirge 'Tom Dooley', much beloved by drunks in my youth, and wonder what his parents were thinking when they named him, (maybe too young to have Tom Dooley on their radar?)

trendygran Wed 04-Dec-13 21:17:22

No problem at all with Tom Daley's announcement,but ,finding out that his partner is 20 years older, just have a slight 'niggle' that he might need more of a father figure . He did seem very close to his Dad . Just a thought!

Ariadne Wed 04-Dec-13 16:42:05

I think his "outing" was to prevent the media doing it first, and putting their own spin on it; better to label himself first, in his own way. The mainstream media are out to attract readers, some in any way they can - vide the gutter press/ red tops.

Aka Wed 04-Dec-13 16:20:20

My thought exactly Hilda ... how on earth does this warrant including in the BBC National News?

Nonnie Wed 04-Dec-13 16:14:54

I've just been told that his boyfriend is in his 40s, is that true?

HildaW Wed 04-Dec-13 15:19:35

Why oh why did the BBC see the need to put this into main news bulletins? Hardly earth shattering and really only fit for the gossip columns if at all. Really its just a matter for those involved.

NfkDumpling Wed 04-Dec-13 14:42:42

Ooooh, we've got Father Christmassss. Welcome Drummerman tchsmile

annodomini Wed 04-Dec-13 13:49:08

Hi, Drummerman, look forward to hearing more from you. tchsmile

whenim64 Wed 04-Dec-13 12:48:46

Welcome Drummerman Good to 'see' a new face smile

Drummerman Wed 04-Dec-13 12:33:10

Brave Man..Admire him for being true to himself.

whenim64 Wed 04-Dec-13 12:01:07

merlot grin I feel your pain!

merlotgran Wed 04-Dec-13 11:59:20

Oh Gawd! Not Splash again sad

whenim64 Wed 04-Dec-13 11:55:15

Poor methodologies have been used by the UK National Office for Statistics when collecting data on the prevalence of lesbian, gay, bi-sexual and transgendered people in the UK. Under-reporting is concluded, as the stats don't fit for global prevalence, which could lead one to conclude that it still isn't a comfortable thing for gay people to be able to disclose personal information to people they don't know well, or at all. As some gay people will feel more confident about disclosure to Stonewall, it isn't surprising that they have data that aligns with global stats where they have been collected with more comprehensive methodologies.

This piece is interesting and informative:

www.outnowconsulting.com/latest-updates/press-centre/request-for-withdrawal-of-misleading-uk-office-for-national-statistics-data.aspx

NfkDumpling Wed 04-Dec-13 11:45:54

We seem to be a very broadminded generation, don't we. My first (and subsequent) reaction was So what? Is this relevant to his diving ability? Do the best divers now have to be bi-sexual? Claire Balwin being gay seems to slipped past me too. I just see her as a good presenter, her private life isn't relevant.

whenim64 Wed 04-Dec-13 11:23:10

nonnie my 33 year old son has faced that very situation, as he has dated girls, then boys and so on, until he just accepted his bi-sexuality for what it is. His fiancée is fully in the picture, a mature woman who understands the nature and range of human sexual orientation. Being bi-sexual doesn't permit lack of commitment to their relationship, nor does being straight ensure either party will be faithful to each other. They both say it's the person they're attracted to and they want to be together. Tom Daley is young yet, so no reason for him to feel he has to be in a committed relationship until he has matured and knows himself better.

Nonnie Wed 04-Dec-13 11:03:39

Eloethan I just read that piece, not really about sports people. It is interesting that it was from Stonewall who have their own agenda. I would like to see such a survey on the population as a whole and see how the general public feel about it.