school children in nappies

I was a trained mum, I held out my DD from 6 weeks and didn't get dirty nappies. She was out of nappies at about 15 months and was dry at night too. DS was a different story, even though the terry nappy use to sag down to his knees, he would not stop play to go to the toilet.
I moved to a new estate when I was about to give birth to second baby and there was a baby in every house in my street. We used to see who could get the nappies on the line first on a morning and I would have felt shame if they were less than snow white.

Grannyknot I'm only speaking from my own experience, not saying it's never a factor. I think there definitely has to be encouragement for children to give up their nappies, whatever kind they are. Even with encouragement, my sons were not very quick to get out of their terries. Reading mumsnet and other forums, today's mums seem just as eager to get their children out of nappies as we were, so I'm not sure why it seems to be happening later.

I can't remember when my two were potty trained. I only know that it did happen and I think it had something to do with letting them run around the garden in summer with nothing on - not even a nappy!

Night owl, I've observed my friend's five year old be well aware that he is weeing in his disposable "pull ups". I'm not so sure he'd be doing that if he was weeing in his pants or clothing. The pull ups stay dry.

White nappies Ana? Something I could only aspire to. I've had pink, blue and a rather fetching shade of pale yellow in the past.

My sons were not potty trained until they were past 3. Both wore terry nappies. My daughter (between the two) managed it earlier but they just couldn't get the hang of it. I don't think I 'trained' any of them really, just watched out for when they were ready and it was as easy as pie. But based on my experience I'm not convinced that disposable nappies are the culprit here.

LOL that was funny, thanks.

On a Forum full of younger expats- all the younger mums said us fron a previous generation are deluded and lying about having our kids dry and out of nappies by 2. Impossible they say, kids are not ready till 3, and we have rose tinted glasses on, and have lost our memories and marbles- or words to that effect ;)

Oh, Ana, flashback!

I went out for the day with my sister and as we turned into my street I saw a line full of horrible stained nappies flapping in the wind. My dozy OH had wrung them out and hung them up directly from the nappy bucket where they'd been soaking, before being put into a boil wash. I leapt out of the car so that I could sprint down the street, and had them all ripped off the line before the car was parked up. My sister laughed till she cried.

We had to potty-train round here in the 1980s before our children were allowed into playgroup at two and a half. My MIL was very keen for me to hold the babies over a potty from birth, but I just left my three till they were two and potty trained in a couple of weeks - I can't remember it being difficult. Why would anyone want to leave it much longer than that?

My sil loved his granny deeply, but said she was horrible about potty training. I reminded him that if he had had to wash terry nappies by hand and use a mangle, and dry on radiator in winter and rain- he would have potty trained his kids a lot earlier (mind you, both were dry during the day by 2, but took quite a bit longer to be dry at night- especially grand-son, which is normal as boys tend to be a bit later).

This reminds of the Baby Burco boiler days steaming the kitchen windows up, but like Ana pride took precedent.

And oh, the shame if the nappies on the line were...a bit less-than-white!

The hassle of having to wash terry nappies made me keen to toilet train my two as soon as was possible.I can still see the washing line full of terrys blowing in the breeze.This was in the 1980s. Disposable nappies and pull ups may make modern mums delay trying to potty train.

Never mind the money- but the environmental consequences. Producing the white pulp for their production is hugely energy and environmentally damaging (loads of bleach and other whitening agents and water and trees)- because of bulk, transport is enormous- and then in the UK it all goes into landfill- m3 x vast numbers- each day or month when toilet training is delayed = tons more waste and landfill taken up.

I was horrified when I learnt from a young mother at work, that every year in reception there is at least one child in nappies. I don't know about hormones or stay-dry nappies , I think it is just plain laziness. Think of the money these lazy people are wasting - those nappies are not cheap.
It is hard work potty training, my two year old granddaughter is being trained at the moment. It's only for a few weeks though.

I worked full time (went back when DD was 6 weeks as was the norm then if you wanted to hold on to your job) and I supposed I was sort of middle class but both mine were out of nappies by 18 months and dry at night before 2. In fact it was the parents who slobbered around at home, fags hanging from their mouths, hair in curlers, still in their dressing gowns at lunch time, who still had big toddlers in soggy nappies with snot hanging from both nostrils.

(Hides under duvet)

purple that is shocking.

I think bonkers is the word Grannyknot. We were also not allowed to check children's hair for headlice and nits because it could be classed as assault. I had one poor little mite who used to eat them as they ran down her face and all I could do was ask the office to call her dad who was a widower and struggling to cope. He would promise to shampoo her, but never did.

Surely the 'no touch' policy could have adverse effects if a child feels rejected by his or her spontaneous display of affection not being welcomed? And surely there are fewer latent pedophiles or child molesters etc. than normal loving human beings who like hugging children and receiving hugs in return? Bonkers.

I read that it is mainly middle class parents who work full time who have this problem. it must be sooo hard for them having to go out to work every day and bring back all that money to have luxury holidays etc . They should be thinking about putting their kids first and maybe not going back full time until the youngest is at school. Before anyone berates me about the rising cost of living, I will say that Ive been there and I did not work full time till my girl was 13 and we managed, we didn't have lots of fancy holidays abroad and never got new furniture but we were happy and kept out of debt. This obsession of keeping up with living standards is ruining many families. Many years ago it was called keeping up with the Joneses.

I agree that the longer parents leave potty training the harder it is. Kids just get used to doing it in their pants and then resist for longer. I think a combo of full time working mums and disposables is probably the cause. I remember spending an intensive 2 or 3 weeks of staying in and letting the kids run around with no pants on and popping them on the potty every 30 minutes or so and they eventually got the message, this was around 2 years old for the girls and a couple of months later for the boys. My DD has had big problems with her 6 year old DD who just holds on all day and has had a succession of urinary infections for the last couple of years. Although I do think late potty training is behind this kind of problem.

I remember when my older son was 2 and a half he did two mornings a week at a private nursery which was considered very unorthodox as the "laid back" lady who ran it would accept children in nappies, usually boys, as she maintained they would just copy the children who had mastered the art of using the toilet. My son initially wore nappies there for a week or two and was probably dry by 2 and three quarters, which was considered late then, but in retrospect I think I mixed with too many competitive mothers with daughters who were all dry day and night by 2ish. By the time both my children entered the nursery attached to their school at 3 and a quarter, it was expected that all children were completely toilet trained they wouldn't have been allowed to attend in nappies. That was some 20 odd years ago and I imagine that would have been pretty standard around the country then.

Undoubtedly toilet training some children can be tedious and time consuming but I think most people get there in the end, albeit with the odd accident. Taking disabilities out of the equation, I wonder why some parents are finding it so hard to follow through on such a basic task it seems to suggest that this is a new phenomenon, I wonder whether we had less distractions can't help noticing how many mothers seem more involved with their phone than their child.

Just don't get this- surely a child without disability or severe special needs should not be in nappies by the age of 4? Here children also begin school aged 4, and all parents know that it is their 'duty' to ensure they take every step possible to ensure kids can be toilet automnomous by school start.

Is there any GN member here who can remember any of their children to be in nappies by age 4 (with above proviso for SN)? I think modern nappies are to blame as they keep kids so comfortable and dry, and not having to wash (and even worse, dry them before we had dryers) not encouraging parents to toilet train. (bah humbug- I know, but ...)

Schools may be legally obliged to take children (with no disabilities) who are still in nappies, but are they legally obliged to change them?

I think the 'hug' thing is a huge problem now for teachers. If I was a teacher now, I would hug back [otherwise it's rejection] but not instigate any hugs.

Yes Nina I think that is true, schools do have to accept them.Again, when our children were 5 years old [the term after their 5th birthday,] they started school, and were all old enough to take themselves to the loo.That extra year makes a tremendous difference to children.