Cameron Shaming the Country

ALERTS TO THREATS IN EUROPE: BY JOHN CLEESE

by John Cleese ?? British writer, actor and tall person

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from ??Miffed?? to ??Peeved.?? Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to ??Irritated?? or even ??A Bit Cross.?? The English have not been ??A Bit Cross?? since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from ??Tiresome?? to ??A Bloody Nuisance.?? The last time the British issued a ??Bloody Nuisance?? warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from ??Pissed Off?? to ??Let??s get the Bastards.?? They don??t have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from ??Run?? to ??Hide.?? The only two higher levels in France are ??Collaborate?? and ??Surrender.?? The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France ??s white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country??s military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from ??Shout Loudly and Excitedly?? to ??Elaborate Military Posturing.?? Two more levels remain: ??Ineffective Combat Operations?? and ??Change Sides.??

The Germans have increased their alert state from ??Disdainful Arrogance?? to ??Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.?? They also have two higher levels: ??Invade a Neighbour?? and ??Lose.??

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from ??No worries?? to ??She??ll be alright, Mate.?? Two more escalation levels remain: ??Crikey! I think we??ll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!?? and ??The barbie is cancelled.?? So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.

A final thought ?? ?? Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting aggressive, and Rome is in disarray. Welcome back to 430 BC??.

ducks down behind parapet

We moved on several posts ago.Or thought we did.

Ceesnan Could it be that because they were not in agreement with yours they were either ignored or rejected?

No, it is rather that instructing people about what just a few feel they may or many not write is likely to elicit a reply. You have now asked me a fairly irrelevant question which I have had the manners to answer. If you do not want me to reply to such pointless comment don't make them.

You must see GracesGran, that to go on and on and on is simply a bit silly.
move on.

Why say it rosesarered. It is no more "silly" for me to go "on and on" than it is for you to do so. If moving on is what you want the answer is in your own hands.

Oh dear, sorry, you have all moved on whilst I have been gainfully employed elsewhere.
I was only just catching up ..... and you have decided to move on.

saturnvista I am a mother of small children - are you an escapee from Mumsnet? I hear it can be a free-for-all over there.
We were are so civilised in comparison

Hungary seems to have forgotten about the flood of refugees who left their country and were given sanctuary elsewhere.

Are you saying there isn't a group in this country who English people who are xenophobic and/or overly nationalistic and are often what some would term as "ignorant" and "boorish or a press that follows that line and panders to that view. If you believe that these people simply don't exist then we would have to agree to disagree. If you do believe they do then what word/s would you use so that people can easily understand that is the group you are describing?

There may well be such groups Gracesgran, as there are in every country. However, the connotation is often used insultingly by some, whereas, for example, Scottish, Welsh, Irish nationalism is considered a matter of pride.
We have had threads on this before, it's getting [boring] now, it is a weak and lazy retort often used by people who cannot think of a legitimate answer to another's questions and viewpoint.

As you seem to be able to argue your point of view quite eloquently and forcefully, it does seem a pity if you think you need to resort to such jibes and other insults about people's grammar.

Sorry, I stand corrected! But this has turned into a very tedious thread, which is a pity as it would have been nice to have a proper discussion and not a carping one!

Yes my thoughts too, it takes a horrible person to kick a young child, let alone an adult.

Hungary as we know have a nasty far right party who have quite a large following there and the country as a whole can't really disguise how they feel about absorbing migrants who are not white and Christian. I think it's possible that some countries of Europe may see the rise of the far right as a reaction to the mass migration that we are experiencing. I believe I read in The Times today that Marine Le Pen's party now have a much larger percentage of the vote in France and it is not out of the question that her party could win an election. I think it is always regrettable when either a far right or far left party hold the balance of power , extremes rarely work well for the majority of the population.

I saw that. Horrible. Bitch!

I saw the one of the camerawoman, who has now been sacked. What a pathetic excuse for a human being!

Did anyone see that video of the Hungarian cameramen, tripping and kicking
Refugees as they rushed past?

That was to GracesGran of course.

Oh dear, I was under the impression that "thoughtful arguments" had been put forward. Could it be that because they were not in agreement with yours they were either ignored or rejected?

And making comments such as 'your little friends' is really quite...

You must see GracesGran, that to go on and on and on is simply a bit silly.
move on .

It may not have added to the discussion, but I thought it was apt in the circumstances.

Otherwise we would be here all night, what with the iPad changing every other word.

Elrel, we don't go in for correcting another poster's spelling as a rule.

I didn't "offer up" the words ignorant and boorish *POGS it was part of the dictionary definition. Yes, it's true - this expression is in common usage and even appears in the online definitions. So why, please explain, do you think you can tell someone else how they can describe a particular group. Oh yes, it's because you find it xenophobic to call a person from England an Englander ...

Have we discovered what context is the main influence on yet?

rosesarered Give it a rest, GracesGran, it's getting tedious. This from the person who thought Telling teacher? was a comment that added to the discussion.

Ana, having spent quite a few hours yesterday and today with a little clique finding fun in taking my wording apart I really don't think they can complain ... oh no they are no complaining you are joining your little friends in the clique and complaining for them. I know someone decided they could tell me I should not quote from the bible on this thread but I will, one more time - As you sow so shall ye reap. Leave me alone or put forward a thoughtful argument and I will stop doing to each of you exactly what you do to me.

POGS: alluded

I think GG was correcting her own post there, niggly, not actually pulling someone else's post apart for a change...

Lives, not live! Isn't that nit picking gg?!!

Give it a rest, GracesGran, it's getting tedious.

I don't think that it's POGS who needs to apologise

Gracesgran

Of course there are English people who exist who will fit the description xenophic/ignorant and boorish. The same as there are Scots/Welsh/Irish/German/Russian people who fit the same description. It would be ridiculous to assume otherwise would it not.

I eluded to that fact by saying :-

"The term 'Little Englander' can produce many variants as to it's 'use' or meaning, so the 'context ' of how,where and when it is used is the key to understanding how it was meant to be considered, rather than producing dictionary definitions that can be skewed / adapted to suit your criteria for your usage"

What the term 'Little Englander' is obviously used to be sarcastic/belittling of others views then the 'context' is pretty b----y obvious.

If you or another uses the term to make a point of your view or directly say to/about another person using the term 'Little Englander' then to use your own dictionary definition you are accusing them of being ignorant/boorish and xenophobic as those are the terms of reference you have given and consider appropriate.

The sole use of the word Englander is in turn tantamount to xenophobia ironically given the perceived meaning of the term that you have put forward to describe an ignorant/boorish xenophobe. If there was in use the term 'Little Scotlander' to describe an ignorant/boorish xenophobe I would not use it and quite rightly it would fall fowl of use for the reasons I have given.

You proffered up the words ignorant/boorish and xenophobic to make your point. Why not outrightly call a person ignorant, boorish and xenophobic if that's how you see them? Is it because using the term 'Little Englander' is is a faint hearted attempt to maintain a civil tongue , I don't know I wouldn't use the term myself .

Does that answer your question?