Is it offensive to tell a woman that she looks nice?

I agree that she could be in a lose lose situation.

I was trying to think what I would have advised my daughter to do.

To be fair, it seems that she approached him in the first instance on LinkedIn, not the other way round.

I think I would have advised DD to not reply to his remarks. And to try and steer clear of him professionally if that was possible.

To my mind they are both at fault!

He is intelligent enough to know how others have found themselves hung drawn and quartered by a kangaroo court/jury and he also knew that his words were subject to be being offensive to the recipient hence he stated "I appreciate this is possibly horrendously politically incorrect". Well fool, listen to yourself and zip it.

She is intelligent enough to know how others have found themselves hung drawn and quartered by a kangaroo court/jury and she knew by putting this message into the public domain she had the intention of doing him harm.

On a personal note I would not have behaved as she has as I would consider the repercussion to his family if he has one. I would consider it a personal matter and certainly not put it into the public domain. Why do that unless you have a strong desire to publicly humiliate him and I consider that to be a reason to dislike both of their behaviour.

I agree with Bellanonna and POGS on this, it wasn't the right forum for compliments, but a private comment, or ignoring it would have been better.

When she gets to my age she will be glad of a compliment !!! Goodness me - what a pompous young miss. Seems to me people like her are looking for something to air their misguided politically correct views. She had obviously taken great pains to make sure her photo was attractive enough to encourage comment. Why can't people just laugh nowadays. Where has all this sensitivity come from. I hope he gets lots of new clients out of this.

Let's look at this situation off-line. She sends her CV to a person within a firm who may have work for her. As is often the case, these days, her photo is on it. He replies with comments about her photo. Yes she can ignore it and never contact him again but this may, in itself, cut her off from some jobs. She could, as she has done, made the point that this is unacceptable from someone in a position to influence her future employment. I imagine she knew she could have problems doing this but why should she be the only one to be affected by his inappropriate behaviour. If anyone should be thinking about the repercussions on his family surely it should be him. He is an intelligent, well educated man and he knows the law and the influences of the law. He is a fool and an unacceptable fool.

As for how you would advise your daughter, as I have said my sons is on LinkedIn. If I suddenly became aware that he had replied to someone, who had contacted him because he had the power to help work-wise (as they might well do) in the way this man had done, I would be mortified by his view of women in the workplace, his view of his marriage, and many other things besides, and he would deserve all the opprobrium that came his way.

Is she seeking fame?
Next stop, I'm a celebrity, get me out of here.

but why should she be the only one to be affected by his inappropriate behaviour
is an interesting question.

"Charlotte, delighted to connect, I appreciate that this is probably horrendously politically incorrect but that is a stunning picture!!!
You definitely win the prize for the best Linked in picture I have ever seen.
Always interest to understant people's skills and how we might work together."

To reply in that way to someone sending a CV is completely inappropriate. He was obviously not complimenting just the photograph and its presentation, as he now claims.
Possibly Charlotte Proud has had previous "compliments" of that type and had had enough.
This guy is over twice her age, and is in a senior position in his profession. He is misusing a professional situation to try it on with a young woman.
He deserved to be outed.

If it's not a big deal, only a harmless compliment, why should anyone be concerned about the man being outed?
There would be no repercussions on his family or career because he did nothing wrong, in that case.

The fact that he prefaced it with "I appreciate that this is probably horrendously politically incorrect but..." is telling IMO.

Would he have said that to a male solicitor on the same site? Likely not. Yes, it was offensive. It was not necessary, and I think she was right to say something.

Story in the DM. He remarked on FB that his own daughter was hot!!!!

Just why did she put her photograph on her LinkedIn profile? There are huge numbers of people on there who don't do so (me included).

She doesn't sound very clever, despite the fact she is supposedly doing a PhD.

Whatever happened to the sharp retort eg 'I'm glad you think it's a stunning photograph - I can let you have the name of the photographer, perhaps she/he could make
even you look good'

Ps I should have added that I think he was completely stupid!!

Hope his wife is giving him a bollocking hard time

Icyalittle - perhaps it's because of the self-absorbed culture these days. Post a selfie? It's just asking for trouble.

It's a fine line between being charming and being sleazy

Some men don't know where the line is.

Why shouldn't she include her photo, if it's a normal thing to do on LinkedIn? I expect people want to give the impression of looking business-like etc.
I wonder if men on there are often troubled by unlooked-for sleaze?

I think the man's comments were creepy and totally inappropriate. If a woman had sent her such a message, wouldn't it be thought a bit strange?

I feel it was unprofessional and presumptuous of him to assume that comments re her appearance would be welcomed. In response he said "... my comment was aimed at the professional quality of the presentation, which was unfortunately misinterpreted". Why did he feel it necessary to comment at all and would he send a similar comment to a male barrister?

It is very unlikely that this man had a professional reason for contacting her since he is a senior partner in a law firm with a predominantly corporate focus and she is a human rights barrister, so it's not even as if he would have any reason to instruct her in the future.

I note his wife "declined to comment". I bet she had plenty to say to him - I would.

It is fairly common practice for big city law firms and barristers's chambers to put their solicitors'/barristers' photographs on their websites.

I expected to think she overreacted but having read the link I don't. This was his first contact with her. Nothing wrong with complimenting someone you actually know. A lot wrong with commenting on the photo of someone you don't know. He makes it clear he KNEW it was inappropriate anyway.

I wonder if she would have put that particular photograph on the website of a firm she worked for, as opposed to her own LinkedIn profile. There's something about her facial expression which is just a little too familiar to be completely professional for a barrister, IMO.

I think they were both unprofessional - he for making the comments, and she for reacting in the way she did.

You're right jane, if you look at other pics on Linkedin, people are just looking into the camera, not stood side on and looking a little seductive in my opinion. Look professional and she would have got a professional message.

And what is wrong with any woman not wanting to be hit on in a professional way? "women (half your age)". Surely any woman of any age in a professional capacity would not want attention in a discriminatory way? Not that I think that was the case here. Or does she only represent young people as a barrister?

There's something about her facial expression which is just a little too familiar to be completely professional for a barrister, IMO.

Well I suppose that's how you see it do but you don't know her and it is just a photo. To be honest I just thought it was someone making a neat best of themselves which is what she should be doing. I don't really want to have an opinion of someone I don't know.

His remarks were inappropriate and and somewhat passe in a sort of "Terry Thomas" way. I do think the woman overreacted somewhat though. All in all a bit of a storm in a teacup, in my opinion.

So rubylady, based on the perception of a "seductive" look in the photo, you think the man was entitled to make remarks which he stated himself were not appropriate?
I think he should have acted like a grown-up person and kept his comments to himself.