Is it offensive to tell a woman that she looks nice?

Gracesgran It isn't just a photo. It's a stunning photo - Carter-Silk was quite right. It's whether he should have actually said so that's the issue.
Facial expression is very important in conveying an impression of what a person is like, or what they want others to think they are like. Only 7% of communication is verbal.
Most people have several different personas - for example, a nurse will be behave differently with his or her patients from how they would behave with family, and that will be different from how they behave with friends on a night out.
I am assuming I am looking at the photo that Charlotte Proudman deliberately used as her LinkedIn profile.
It would be fine on Facebook, or for her parents to display on their piano.
But it just doesn't say Professional Woman to me.

Re OP. It's fine to tell someone you know (male or female) they look nice.

But not right coming from a stranger who doesn't 'know' you and is therefore just judging by appearance.

On the odd occasion my DD or DIL says I look good, there's often an implied 'for a change'!

I agree, janea, about it not saying professional woman. I don't know how well the photo is being reproduced on my screen but I'd say it is a very 'touched up' photo especially when compared to other photos of her.

He was unwise to comment but she was also unwise to make such a public fuss.

The most ridiculous thing is the social media storm about it.

Which I have just taken part in

I don't think she can be a very good solicitor if she can't put a man in his place without kicking up such a fuss.

She's not a solicitor, she's a barrister. I think she's put him in his place very successfully - and also made a stand for women in general, although no-one would think so reading this thread.

I agree Eloethan. Why are so many women against women who stand up for themselves and don't allow organisations, that are very male orientated and have taken a long time to allow women to have any place in the higher echelons of their structure, to go on being as misogynist as this, misusing their power.

It seems to me that the internalised sexism of women in society against other women is being put forward by those who are, just as this man did, judging this women by how she appears in the photograph. I say well done for working and studying to become a barrister and whoa betide any man who thinks he will treat her as just a pretty face.

Sorry, barrister.

I assume from what Farnorth wrote, that Charlotte Proudman invited the man to connect with her on LinkedIn, like asking someone to be a friend in Facebook.
He replied inappropriately, but I don't think that saying the photo was stunning was a crime against women, and I don't think that her response was standing up for women in general either.
Social media and professionalism is a dangerous mix and I'm not sure that the rules of engagement have actually been established.

Well, I still think she could have 'put him in his place' more smartly and succintly - and with a lot less fuss.

Unfortunately, I don't think she has done herself any favours with regard to future employment.
She may be right but she still has a lot to learn about how to handle awkward or annoying situations.

sleazy bugger

Unbelievable!

If either of our DDs put a picture like that of themselves on social media DH would probably say ' hrmmph!. Can't you put more clothes on, dear? You don't know who might see that'
(It could be that sleazy bugger jingls mentioned)

Why did she not just give him a verbal slap. The fact that she had to use social media to get her point across just indicates to me she is not actually a strong woman and is unable to stand up for herself. She should spend some time working in the licensed trade, she would soon learn the art of a good put down

The fact that she invited him to connect with her on LinkedIn makes a difference to how I view what happened. He didn't just come out of the blue with his comment about her highly processed to make her look physically attractive LinkedIn profile pic. I'm thinking that he could have made exactly the same response to a man's profile pic. Which means, in effect, that her making out that it's a sexism issue is nonsense.

He commented on the picture, not on her. It's a subtle difference but not one that a good barrister would miss.

Woman needs to get over herself... There was nothing 'offensive' (and how tired I am of that blunt-edged weapon) in Carter-Silk's message - it was maybe a tad fulsome - but only a small, metric tad...

I am all for women's equality in all spheres - but getting hoity-toity does no woman any favours.

True enough, we don't know what sort of "invite to connect" was given.
Do you think, though, that if he was commenting on a man's picture, in a work context, he would have started by saying "I appreciate that this is probably horrendously politically incorrect but that is a stunning picture!!!" ?

The fact that she invited him to connect with her on LinkedIn makes a difference to how I view what happened.

LinkedIn is a business site thatbags. If she had gone to a networking breakfast - (as many business people do) - and introduced herself having been told he was in the same line of work (as many business people do) and given her business card and asked if she could send her CV (as many business people do) do you think it would be OK for him to send an email back similar to his message?

Or is the problem that you really think that she should not be pushing herself forward - dear me, she is a woman after all - and, in the live scenario, you would have expected her to wait until he introduced himself? That is all she did!

It seems that there have been other occasions when this man has made inappropriate comments. Maybe she has already experienced too much sexist treatment in her particular workplace and just got really sick of taking it on the chin.
We just don't know do we?

Gracesgran of course it is not wrong to advertise one's professional services.
But if you include photographs of yourself you have to be very careful of what the image is saying about you.
If you want your potential market to focus on your professional standing and abilities, it might be wise to focus your advertising on that.

No you don't Jane. Blaming the victim is never going to help. If you hit me it is you that is responsible however I have dressed, spoken, etc. You would be just as responsible for inappropriate action in a work situation. Your argument would logically lead to women being covered from head to foot in a veil. For heaven's sake let men take responsibility for their own actions or do you believe they are unable to? Perhaps you think, because they are men they have less responsibility than a woman.

Fair point, gg, at 09:36:32 in your second paragraph about CVs.

It is possible though to crtiticise or praise a portrait without criticising or praising the person whose portrait it is. I'm thinking of a recent painting of the queen which I really didn't like. I didn't think it was a good painting.
one can think similar things about photographed portraits. Which is the point I was making.

So Alex was a bit of a twit. I think she was too if she didn't speak to him about it privately first.

Gracesgran if you read my earlier posts you will see that I haven't blamed anyone. I said they were both unwise. The main point I was making was that the use of social media in a professional context is a minefield.
To extrapolate this situation to accusing me of suggesting that women should be covered in veils is ridiculous.

I dont think that the use of social media in a professional context is a minefield.
What minefield?
Just remember it is professional setting.

It seems that there have been other occasions when this man has made inappropriate comments

If that is true, it doesnt surprise me in the slightest.
If someone has got to age 57 and is making inappropriate remarks like that, he is almost bound to have made others.

I wonder how many of your realise what this women's career has been about. You can find a resume here

This is a flavour:

Charlotte specialises in advice and representation of in all aspects of family law. Charlotte is a leading expert in forced marriage and has provided pro bono support at Toynbee Hall, the National Centre for Domestic Violence, the Iranian and Kurdish Women's Rights Organisation. In addition, Charlotte researched transnational forced marriage at the Human Rights Commission of Pakistan. Instrumental in the criminalisation of forced marriage, she argued for criminalisation in the Parliament of Sweden, on BBC radio 4 and at Universities across England. Charlotte was invited by Number 10 Downing Street's Policy Unit and the Forced Marriage Unit to advise on criminalisation.

... and we are talking about how she looks in a photograph.

To extrapolate this situation to accusing me of suggesting that women should be covered in veils is ridiculous.

I didn't accuse you of anything Jane, as I am sure you are aware. What I said was "Your argument would logically lead to women being covered from head to foot in a veil". If you (one) are going to say that women on a business site must be careful of subliminal messages they send out in their photos because men cannot be expected to behave like grown-ups then I would stand by what I said.

This women seems to be doing hugely important work - for women and yet women are picking over to bones of this and are prepared to blame her for his action.