Gransnet forums

News & politics

A grandma has given birth to triplets !!

(65 Posts)
Spidergran5 Wed 06-Apr-16 09:50:23

Just read that a 55 year old grandma has given birth to triplets www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/04/05/pgrandmother-age-55-gives-birth-to-triplets/

Rather her than me!!

absent Sun 24-Apr-16 06:46:02

Nobody has a baby for the baby's sake. Having a child is always a "selfish" action, whether it is just because you have that overwhelming urge to give birth, hold and raise your own child, sharing that, perhaps, with the man you love and, possibly live with (or you need to supply the heir to the throne or a title). It's a pretty atavistic thing, so criticising this woman as selfish is fairly silly.

rubylady Sun 24-Apr-16 00:30:26

Good luck to them all, I say. There are that many born to parents who don't care about them or abuse them that these babies sound like they are going to be well loved, if looked after by a nanny, but then lots of children are these days. She must think she is up to it all and really she shouldn't be answerable to anyone but her and her partner and her own family.

Nelliemoser Sat 23-Apr-16 20:59:47

A colleague of mine found herself pregnant at 49 when her then youngest child was 10. It was a surprise. shock

NanKate Sat 23-Apr-16 19:54:24

Well said Mancunian

Meg92leic Sat 23-Apr-16 19:31:19

I think it's very selfish but it's her life

Meg92leic Sat 23-Apr-16 19:29:05

Very selfish I think but it's her life

Mancunian61 Fri 08-Apr-16 20:56:44

I don't agree with couples having children late in life and by that I probably mean over 40. When I read of such stories its always focused on the mother/father and how they feel fit enough to look after the children and everything will be fine. I think it is very a very selfish view of things and the child itself is very rarely thought about.

As an only child of older parents (mother 40 and father 45) myself I know what is can be like and what effect it can have, the main points being:
- people/children thinking your mum is your grandma, especially at school gates
- older less fit parents not able to keep up the same
- being a generation out in the family, your cousins being what would normally be your parents age and second cousins being your age
- having to deal with parents ill health/deaths when your children are very young
- not ever having that special relationship with grandparents of your own
- your children missing out on really knowing your parents
- not having your own parents to talk to as you mature and able to have an adult relationship with them
- money to look after children is less of an issue, a child wants the love and care from its own parents

The above points are just the main ones, I'm sure there are many more if I thought more about it.

I realise that surprise babies happen in later life and that parents with older children sometimes have little surprises but for much older couples/mothers to plan babies in my eyes is selfish.

Sorry for the rant, but it is close to my heart and I loved my mum and dad very much and they have been passed for nearly 20 years now.

aggie Fri 08-Apr-16 13:38:32

Well makes a change from Grandmothers looking after toddlers if she passes the buck to the Crèche /Nanny

Anya Fri 08-Apr-16 13:15:30

Very good point wizzy it is the fact that these were triplets that made headlines. One late baby would have passed unreported.

Shazmo24 Thu 07-Apr-16 22:46:29

I'm 55 but still having monthly periods :-( so could still in theory get pregnant...what a horrible thought

Judthepud2 Thu 07-Apr-16 20:54:36

But Tricia she had to have eggs provided by a donor so she actually couldn't!

TriciaF Thu 07-Apr-16 20:11:01

Just to show she can? Prove she's still "young"?
That's what I still wonder about our neighbour.

Judthepud2 Thu 07-Apr-16 19:52:36

I've just reread the article and noticed that the mother intends to return to her well paid job to pay off the loan, so actually other (probably younger people) will be looking after the triplets for her. ?

So.... erm.....no problem then? But why? Anyone?

Judthepud2 Thu 07-Apr-16 19:46:14

Wizzy I think you will find, if you look carefully at the posts, that there is a feeling that having even one baby at 55 is a bit shortsighted. Especially as this lady has a family already. Frankly the idea of becoming a mother at that age with broken nights, toddler tantrums and energetic little ones to chase after appalls me. Many of us look after GCs and find it much more exhausting than when we were in our 20s, 30s and 40s.

Good luck to them. I'm sure they will be wonderful parents but at what cost to themselves physically?

Wizzyh Thu 07-Apr-16 18:58:38

As a mum of twins(Ivf) and triplets(natural) I know she's going to find it hard, but ultimately rewarding. I haven't read the article yet, but it is worth bearing in mind that that she probably didn't go into it with the aim of a mulitiple birth. I expect she probably just wanted the one baby, like most of us do, and multiple embryos were implanted to increase the chances of a successful outcome.
I didn't expect my 2 embryos to survive - the odds of getting any success at all is so ridiculously low. Wasn't particularly pleased to discover that I'd have to deal with twins!
What do people think she was supposed to do when she found out that she was expecting not the one baby but 3? I was terrified when I found out that I had triplets on the way, but certainly would not have considered a selective abortion - how would you choose which one, and what if the entire pregnancy then failed? She really had no choice, and I know that I would be devastated by some of the comments I've heard and seen about her 'stupidity' in having triplets at her age. There would have been next to no comment if she'd had just the one baby.

NanSue Thu 07-Apr-16 18:36:45

Why on earth would a 55 year old woman with a grown up family want to put herself through bringing up another 3? I can maybe understand women that have not been blessed with a family at all but IMHO IVF should only be available t to the under 50's. Surely there has to be a limit!

HannahLoisLuke Thu 07-Apr-16 17:32:21

Apparently she and her husband paid for the IVF with a bank loan but the eleven weeks in hospital was on the NHS which is struggling to provide essential treatment for people who are ill.

I had my son naturally at 47 and it was pretty hard going when he was small as I approached the menopause.
Lovely now that he's 25, he makes me laugh all the time so wouldn't change a thing.
Worst years were the toddler and teenage ones but that's always the way.

SusieB50 Thu 07-Apr-16 17:01:22

My sister had two children 14 months apart at 41 and 42 She says the first two years were just a fog and remembers very little, and now she says the mood in the house with menopausal and teenage hormones can be "tense" . But they have
( the children) grown up, into the most delightful young people and my little grandchildren just adore them . I had my kids fairly young - 25 and 29 and as my sis is 8 years younger, I am more like the granny than auntie .

Anya Thu 07-Apr-16 16:32:21

I think you'll find they haven't been funded from your taxes LL9

granjura Thu 07-Apr-16 15:51:09

agreed luckylegs sad

Luckylegs9 Thu 07-Apr-16 15:45:35

It is a very selfish thing to do, all about her, has she given any thought to how those children will cope. To have triplets is challenging at any age and requires a lot of stamina, but at that age silly. Hope our already stretched NHS hasn't funded IVF. Think Ronnie Wood becoming a father at 68 too old as well. If nature decides you can have a baby in your 40's so be it. Surely there should be a cut off point, preferably sone time before you collect a pension.

nanaMM2006 Thu 07-Apr-16 14:06:47

I too would like...a like button

trace6470 Thu 07-Apr-16 13:51:37

My Dad was 65 when I was born and I couldn't have asked for a better dad

jocork Thu 07-Apr-16 13:16:13

I had both my children in my mid 30s and was always aware of being an older mum - though it's not so uncommon now - and I was less able to run around with physical play than the younger mums. My husband was younger and did a lot of the active stuff at weekends while I mostly watched as they clambered over adventure playgrounds and slid down vertical drop slides! Unfortunately we split up when they were teenagers and that was tough becoming a single mum in my 50s. I had wanted a third child but after a few miscarriages decided when I reached 40 that was time to stop trying. In retrospect that was probably for the best and I certainly wouldn't have wanted to become a new mum in my 50s, naturally or otherwise. I was worried about being mistaken for their grandparent and I think it is really unfair for the children. Someone on here said 'selfish woman' and I agree!

Skynnylynny Thu 07-Apr-16 12:43:03

I had two more children when I was 42 and 45. They were bonuses.