Sex Education for 4 year olds !

* yorkshiregel* For a boy the changes will not start until they are about 14yrs old not necessarily, my son was shaving when he was 11/12 and my grandson at 13 has also been shaving for well over a year. Their body changes began well before 14 years old and I think it's safe to assume that so have many other children.

All my children knew the basics by the time they were 4 - babies grow in mother's womb - NOT stomach!!!; boys and girls have different genitalia. By the time they were 6 they knew about sexual intercourse in the context of a loving relationship.

But the information came from us, which is where it should come from. I do not buy the idea of losing innocence - facts are facts - knowledge is power.

They're not going to be teaching 4 year olds how to put a condom on a banana, it's relationships at that age eg being nice to each other, bullying and the beginnings of staying safe on line.
If it could be left to parents we wouldn't have a society where most young boys watch hard-core porn and treat girls badly.

My mother in her wisdom thought that she should be the one to give me sex education and wrote to the school forbidding me to take part in SE classes.

1) My mother was the biggest/worst prude ever so it was never going to happen.
2) I was mocked and bullied because I had to sit out the classes.
3) I was VERY naïve when it came to sex and really didn't know anything for a fact. Just bits I had picked up long the way.
I got pregnant at 17.

I don't think parents should be allowed to opt children out of sex education at all.

I worked as a teaching assistant for 12 years in a primary school, and I feel sure there will not be sexual content for small children. I was present during the relationship and sex education classes and I was so proud of the way our teachers were so careful and gentle with information. It was absolutely age appropriate, and no child could feel anxious. For the younger children it was sometimes just untangling information they had acquired from each other, and talking about general relationships.
The approach was always cheerful and kindly.
On the other hand, a very few children obviously had seen
things at home, perhaps in videos or had been told things by older siblings that were clearly not age appropriate, and teachers were able to allay fears in those very few cases.

gillybob, thanks so much for your post. Your comments confirm exactly why sex and relationship education should be compulsory for all our children.
handmadedogsweaters - No, it wouldn't be the parents fault if their children were sexually abused by a paedophile, it would be the fault of the paedophile. Comments like the one you made are totally out of order. Anyone who has worked with children who were sexually abused will tell you how devastated their parents were. Especially if the abuser, as is so often the case, was a family member or close friend.
I hope that the current investigations into historical child abuse will encourage adults to accept and welcome the proposals for sex and relationship education for children. Even better if it encourages adults to accept that sex offenders live amongst us, look just like we do, don't have a tail and horns to identify them as not like us.

The daughter-in-law of one my friends was told that her 7-year old would soon be having sex education at school. In order to prepare him for this she decided to tell him a few facts - maybe too many! as his reaction was 'That's disgusting. I am now going to be sick.'

Personally I think 4-years old is far too young. My grandson is 6 and it worries me that if he receives information about keeping his body safe, etc, how will he react to me being in the bathroom with him, or even sharing his bedroom when we all go on holiday together?

Giving children information won't scare them Aepgirl.

this is where we need an edit button - it sounds as though Aepgirl's friend gave her 7 year old information in a way that was less than helpful. That's where its helpful to have teachers etc who are trained and at ease delivering age appropriate information.

IAM64 I know all about sexual abuse as I was abused in childrens homes and foster homes as a young girl. Now if my parents had told me about sexual abuse etc. (before I went into care)I would not have been the dumb naive person I was at the time of the abuse.So therefore YES I do blame the parents,for not protecting the children by making them aware of sexual abuse. In fact I will say it is abuse on the parents behalf by not speaking to their children re. sex offenders etc.

I'm sorry about your experience and understand your anger, handmadedogssweaters.

Aepgirl if your GS is 6 and doesn't want you in the bathroom as he is there then you need to respect that full stop.

Because I worked with pregnant women and babies my daughter always knew where babies come from,and as to how they got there I copped out and said mummys and daddys had a special cuddle!She always knew the proper name for boys and girls genitalia,much to some other parents disgust I have to say.

I don't think children start their periods at 5 or 9 years of age at all or at least it's very rare if they do. No one told me about sex at school or anywhere else for that matter my wife and I did not have sex before marriage she is the only girlfriend I have ever had we have been together 48 years married 45 and I thank god for her every second of the day. Not knowing about sex when we were young never did us any harm.

You were lucky, caretaker. You might have been told some very odd things by your mates, and continued to believe them for the rest of your life.

You might have been in a family who didn't treat one another with respect, and thought that was the norm for sexual relations.

You might have been very worried by a wet dream, thinking that something had gone wrong with your body.

You might have had an innocent intimate cuddle with a teenage girlfriend that somehow ended with her becoming a pregnant schoolgirl.

You might have met someone who abused you, and had no idea what was happening or why.

It isn't all just about periods, you know.

Caretaker times have moved on I don't know anyone who is with their first sexual partner.
Sex is more fluid now and while they won't be educating the four year olds about it they defiantly need to prepare the 13+ about consent, contraception, morning after pill, abortion etc

It was no big deal to me or my wife what we did not know we read up on it to learn. I went to an all boys school and my wife to an all girls school. I was nursing for 37 years my wife 42 years as nurse/midwife.

But that's exactly the problem. You didn't have a fraction of information at your disposal as what my a toddler now can.
Can you honestly not see how while you're fine there are serious risks to leaving children find their own way?

We read in the press day after day about child abuse recent and historical also the the uk has one of the highest rates of under age pregnancies. Children have been given sex education from 11 years of age in UK schools for the past 30 years it has not stopped the pregnancy rates or the sexually transmitted infection rates again the highest in Europe.

"Young people are more likely to be diagnosed with an STI than older age groups. In 2015, among heterosexuals diagnosed, 15 to 24-year-olds accounted for 62% of those with chlamydia, 52% with gonorrhoea, 51% with genital warts, and 41% with genital herpes."

The 15-17 year old conception rate in England and Wales halved from 1971 to 2014, probably at least partly as a result of better sex education.

Caretaker I think you will find the teenage birth rate is dropping. I am delighted that you and your wife were so compatible and got it right first time, but surely you do not think this is the way it should be for everyone? Suggest you read Chesil Beach and be thankful.

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As I understand it sex won't really be involved for the youngest children, just relationships in general. In fact someone did say that parents will still be able to withdraw their children from the actual sex lessons.