Mother blames school

Ilovecheese The Education Welfare Officer used to cover several schools, and would meet with Heads of Year perhaps once a week to discuss pupils with persistent absence issues. An EWO wouldn't have visited this home on 1st day absence. Nowadays individual schools each have their own person responsible for attendance, but with massive budget cuts, such people may well be one of the first redundancies. The work now is done by clerical staff from the phone only.
What has been lost is a person who could speak to pupils in the street, asking why they're not at school.

I think the school did have the mother’s number, Rosina, but didn’t ring it. If she’d known her children weren’t at school she’d have contacted other people on the spot to find out why when her husband didn’t answer. A child not turning up at school or not being picked up without a message being sent to school should set alarm bells ringing. At the primary school where I worked we had an automated texting system that would send standard messages to at least two contacts to ask for the reason. If no answer came then yes, the attendance officer would chase it up, by trying other family members/neighbours and calling at the home if necessary. We sadly had a case similar to this where a parent had died completely unexpectedly at home, and we found out quickly. We did have a lot of vulnerable families though so had to have systems in place to protect our children. Keeping contact details updated was a job in itself.

Some parents give one number, and if there is no answer, what is to be done? Some people forget to update mobiles, or switch them off. Why didn't the mother give the school her number? I agree, too much 'blame' is going on now; things happen, sad and awful things happen, but they are not always someone's fault, not deliberate, and fingers should not be pointed.

most mobiles can dial 999 without log in, so children, even very young ones, could probably manage it.

When my gd was at secondary we had to give a mobile number and a landline number. They would call on one or the other if you did not know they hadn’t turned up at school or if you did not ring in.
Not everyone now has a home phone and it was up to you to give out numbers when you filled in form when they started school. Our gds school had our landline, and 3 mobile numbers. Even if the mother was working away she had to give a number. My d works all over the country but they still had her number.

To be fair to the mother I read that she did ring more than once and thought her husband's mobile was off. When she still couldn't reach him in the evening she must have contacted her mother as the grandma went round and found the house in darkness and milk still on the doorstep and the door not answered. I'm assuming (but not sure ) that she alerted the police. Mother was by then concerned and hurrying home in any case. She had no idea her daughter had not turned up to school. I dont think its fair to blame mother (or school.) The idea of 3 phone numbers is a good one I think.

The children will suffer as much trauma at they're TOLD to suffer. We can run around telling them what a terrible experience it was for them, or we can praise them for coping so well when a sad event happened. Seems like the Mum has got off to a bad start. But if this is from a newspaper rather than personal knowledge...

If I have my grandchildren (aged 5 and 3) to stay with me I have an arrangement with a friend round the corner who has a key that she rings me at 8 in the morning and if I don’t answer she would come round. It sounds a bit melodramatic but it puts my mind at rest - otherwise I would torture myself with visions of me dying in my sleep ...........!

Terribly sad but really our schools are struggling as it is, being judged all the time. The fact that they do try to contact home if a child is absent is surely enough. I'm the 3rd contact for my 2 DGC (after Mum & Dad) and have been called twice, but - as others mentioned because one of them had had a fall or was poorly. That's another thing, if they have any little fall or bang their head school have to ring and let you know - even though the child is fine and they don't want you to come and collect them.
My heart does bleed for the cases mentioned though but I'm not sure we can ever prevent something so rare.

Very sad story, but at the end of the day the mother phoned and didn't get an answer so it was her ultimate responsibility to find out why. She would have been expecting to speak to her husband so a follow up was necessary. However we can all be wise after the event. The school did take some action, not as if the ignored a no show.

I believe emergency calls can be made from mobile phones without a password or fingerprint

At The end of day . It parents responsibility to make sure the child knows how use to phone . open doors go out side ask neighbour for help . Know grandparents to know to phone them.
And if the parents are together it mother responsibility to phone and make sure everything is ok.
If they are not together school age should be able reach the other parent when they need to .
But to be to scare to go downstairs there was some thing wrong there .

The impression I got from the interview was that the mother was not blaming the school - she was just suggesting that schools should perhaps keep on record more than one contact number in case of emergencies.
However, it should have been made clear that a child being absent for a day wouldn't be considered an emergency - the emergency would be if the child fell ill at school and someone needed to be contacted, as has been mentioned in posts above.

In the case of the little boy, Luckygirl, that was very sad; apparently the mother was estranged from her own family and the little boy was mute as far as I recall. The school sent someone round on more than one occasion but no-one answered the door.

I agree, you can't blame the school. My first thought, when I heard the children had spent so long with their father's body, was that had I been the mother, I'd have rang and rang and then got in touch with someone else if still no reply.

This is an age that likes to scapegoat and blame. Political parties, lobby groups, single interest groups and charities like to create victims and perpetrators to divide, create resentment and arouse strong negative emotions as these create an emotional, easily led following of hotheads. The blame culture leaches into private life as this case reveals. The woman is rightly devastated and we can all sympathise with her horrible experience - but she is wrong to blame the school.

General blaming and scapegoating harms everyone. Sometimes there is actually an individual or group which can be directly blamed for a misdemeanour and they should be censured. However, it is illogical and immoral to seek for 'someone to blame' whenever something goes wrong.

Heartbreaking story .... but sounds like the Mum is trying to get rid of her own guilt for being away, and putting the blame on the school. There is no blame, it’s just a tragically sad set of circumstances.

I agree that schools cannot cover all bases and really can only do their best.

The other case that was highlighted in the news coverage was a little boy whose single Mum died from a seizure and he too died several days later, presumably from lack of fluids. It was a block of flats and no-one noticed that neither had been seen for several days. Very sad; but I am not sure what could be done to prevent this.

At my grandchildren's schook they have 3 numbers they can call - dad, mum and another That way they just would work down the list- parents need to call the school if their child is absent - maybe following all this schools will look at their protocols

In a Primary school the register is taken, unauthorised absences are recorded, the school office checks these against answer phone and verbal messages etc; those not accounted for are rung on the contact number given, and a message left to contact the school. Our local primary has four hundred plus children and fourteen classes, so it takes at least an hour every morning to deal with absences, and someone is paid specifically to do this. Then she starts on the school dinners. There is not time to do more. It would help if parents updated their contact numbers, (one mother had six mobile phones, not one operational), didn't switch phones off, and responded when called. Not the schools' fault; they cannot be held responsible for this tragedy.

I've just seen the interview and agree that yes, it was very sad indeed. However, just how much responsibility are schools supposed to take ?
I agree that having two additional emergency contacts beside the parents is a very good idea - but, as paddyann says that is for the school to use if a child is ill and needs picking up, not to check up on every child who may be absent for a day or two.

The mother said that she did ring home and eventually rang a neighbour who couldn't get an answer (I think). Is it a good idea to leave a key with a trusted neighbour for emergencies?
The girls were apparently 4 and 2 at the time so quite young but even small children have been known to make 999 calls or to alert a neighbour.

This happened in 2016 I thought it had just happened
Yes I think all kids should be taught how to get help from very young yours was well taught Monica I think families do need to take responsibility as well as schools

This is a sad story but hardly common is it? This happened in 2016. Apparently she rang in the morning and got no answer herself - you might ask why she didn’t follow this up herself. I think emergency numbers that schools hold are really for if a child is taken ill at school. You can’t reasonably expect schools to be tracking where children are if not at school can you on just one day? The school probably only rang in the first place because of some system of recording unauthorised absences and having to tick a box that they’d rung - schools are judged harshly now on the unauthorised absences they record. Sometimes sad things just happen and nothing can prevent it - sometimes no one is to blame and there are no lessons to be learned.

DH travelled a lot when DC were small, before mobile phones, he often went places where any phone call was impossible. By the time DS was 3, I had trained him to know that if mummy was asleep and wouldn't wake up he was to ring 999 and tell the operator the problem and give them his name and address. We use to rehearse the procedure regularly. He also knew how to open the front door (he was a very reliable child). Thankfully nothing ever happened so he never had to put the process into action.

I didn’t see the news as I was out but just had a quick look at the BBC news on my iPad and I see the children were two girls aged five and three, so what if they weren’t in school surely the mother would ring home to say good morning and good night to the kids When my Dad was left alone and housebound I would ring at least twice a day basically morning and night just to make sure he was safe My daughter gives me a quick text or ring each morning as living on my own she just likes to check I m up and well

The poor mum is obviously in turmoil I hope the little ones get some counselling thankfully they are very young

As Eloethan says, not a blame game, but a sensible suggestion where there are schoolchildren and separated parents, two phone calls makes sense.