Urmstongran
Your dismay is palpable! Not surprising though.
The problem from my POV is that those who are making the mighty decisions on this issue (and others) are mostly not part of the 'every-day' world that we inhabit. They live in a rarified, cocooned environment of Westminster and Politics. I believe the likes of PM May 'understand' the electorate - and their needs / wishes - only through the headlines of the (largely) tabloid press. And it is to these headlines that she responds, and plays. Do these 'pollies' have the faintest idea of the lives of ordinary people, do they even have the worries or burdens that many of us have to face every day? I doubt they are bothered with money worries, or health-care issues (they might have health problems, but they can afford private care).
Their world revolves around Party - and the politics that support that party (whichever stripe).
We don't have any Statesmen or Stateswomen - we have mediocre, intellectually-challenged, self-serving career politicians. So what good will it do to vote for any of them?
... which is basically what you are saying.
Maybe, as they have made such a complete mess of Brexit we underlings should make the decisions for them. Cards on table, I am a Remainer, but how about we Leavers and Remainers, decide which form of Brexit we deliver - there must be enough of us able to be sufficiently dispassionate to do what is in the best interests of ALL? I still think Brexit is a bad idea, but - we are where we are.