The priest at Lyras funeral

You really think that at every funeral a priest should say "the deceased was gay/heterosexual/swung both ways"?

Odd.

Read her letter to her younger self then come back and tell me that being gay was only a part of her life in the privacy of her bedroom

Not our sex life, sorry but that was a daft question.

Of course "gay" isn't a rude word. Neither is "sex". They're just not often mentioned at funerals. ^Because it's not necessary".

trisher no way am I getting into details of NI politics with you. Got enough to deal with with notanan.

Being Gay is not a career
Why have a memorial/funeral at all if not to remember what mattered to that person, whatever those things may be?

At my husbands funeral there was no mention of the fact we were a heterosexual couple, or he was a heterosexual man

Your relationship wasnt mentioned at all? Really?

And being straight is very different to being gay. It shouldnt be but it is. Especially in places likd NI.

Being Gay is not a career

Just how did you want the sexuality to be referred to? In what words exactly?

"Gay" isnt a rude "private" word.

If being gay was a part of someones life I would expect it mentioned in any memorial of their life the same way you would mention if someone was a devoted teacher, or a keen sports person.

Gonegirl They need a government. Stormont has been empty quite long enough.
Then perhaps Arlene Foster should do as the majority wished and step down.

Of course it would be totally wrong for the priest to say, "the deceased was in a gay relationship, and we don't like that". Did that happen?

Just how did you want the sexuality to be referred to? In what words exactly? Most priests and vicars wrap it up in "love".

So, notanan, did you want the priest to say something like, "it's a shame there can no longer be any sex in this relationship*? What kind of funerals have you been to?

Speaking to a group of politicians who sit together at a funeral but refuse to sit together to run the country is less important than saying ‘the deceased was in a gay relationship ‘.

At my husbands funeral there was no mention of the fact we were a heterosexual couple, or he was a heterosexual man.

Did the priest not shake her hand on the way out? Give her some words of comfort?

Thats big of him
Still considers their relationship "lesser" than others by only marrying MF couples though doesnt he?

They need a government. Stormont has been empty quite long enough.

I think a partner of the deceased would get a meaningful message as well as a hand hold.

Gonegirl To pretend that someone attending a funeral and having their hand shaken is an acknowledgement of their relationship is just plain ridiculous. In the past when homosexuality was illegal partners would attend and be called "good friends" or "companions" now most are able to take their rightful place but that doesn't mean that everyone who shakes their hands and mutters words of consolation acknowedges or accepts their real position.

That doesn't make sense. You are saying that because the church in NI is hard on gay people, the country has no right to be properly governed in all areas.

I am saying that it is repulsive for the RC church to present itself or any of its representatives as any sort of moral compass in NI

Sexuality doesnt = sex acts.

Straight peoples sexuality is discussed as the default. Its not seen as a "private matter" until you discuss someone who deviates from the default, and then suddenly its uncouth to mention it.. . Why skip over a major part of someones life? It would like me dying and the fact that Im a mother not mentioned at my funeral just because the actual act of birth is usually done in private!

Just where was this "glossing over"?

Are you saying her partner was shut out from the funeral? Made to sit in a corner at the back? Did the priest not shake her hand on the way out? Give her some words of comfort?

Really?

I have never been to a funeral where sex was mentioned. How does it go? "Oh yes, they loved having it off three times a week". "He was a right bugger for not using a condom". " She was a bit of a nympho on the quiet you know".

Mind boggles.

That doesn't make sense. You are saying that because the church in NI is hard on gay people, the country has no right to be properly governed in all areas.

That is usually acknowledged to be a private matter between two people.

Its not a private matter at funeral of a straight person though. Its pretty openly talked about.

She was gay. It was part of her life, a big part. Glossing over it does her a disservice.

The hypocracy of preaching about how others should behave. When they behave so badly to people like Lyra themselves.

What hypocrisy in the service please ?