Murdered in New Zealand

Well he was still anonymous on the news this morning
She was silly to go back to his hotel room but haven’t we all done it in the heat of the moment I remember inviting (it turned out to be a one night stand but that’s not what I saw at the time) date back to my house for coffee +++ completely stupid but I bet many many people on here if they are honest have done the same

Bluebelle when I was a student.... I had some fun times.

yes petra, I was. I can't cope with bickering today. It's sad for the family, all of it.

The guilty party has now been named.

My daughters also went travelling; one went to NZ after completing her degree and some years later she eventually emigrated there. She now lives just minutes from Scenic Drive, which is a very beautiful place leading to the Watakere Ranges.

I encouraged all of my children to travel; I wanted them to experience a range of cultures as the ‘foreigner’ so that they would have an understanding that we are all global citizens and that what unites people is greater than that which divides us.

I lived abroad when I was younger and I think the experience has impacted on me hugely, I’m sure I feel greater empathy for asylum seekers and refugees simply because I know how discomfited I felt as an immigrant.

I truly hope that youngsters won’t be put off travelling by this dreadful event - and that parents understand that this could have happened anywhere in the world, including in towns and cities in this country.

My daughter went travelling to Asia and Australia with a friend when she was in her mid 20’s, so not so young. Friend ran out of money, DD carried on on her own round Oz. This was before mobiles and widespread internet use. She later told me about sleeping in hostels where rough looking blokes were in adjoining bunks, in remote places in the Outback.
Thank goodness I didn’t know all this at the time. I would never have dared to do stuff like that, would never have been allowed back in the day. I’m proud of my independent, resourceful daughter, but when you hear about what happened to poor girls like Grace Malone....my DD met up with an Aussie lad, but he was a good guy and she married him.

My children all went travelling too and just didn't tell me things they knew would make me anxious at the time. Yes, it was before mobiles with the older ones.
Although I hoped they were streetwise, you cannot go through life mistrusting everyone.

Poor girl, meeting a monster like that, her poor parents, it is heartrending.

grapefruitpip !

thanks Madgran.

Yes mine all travelled and my grandkids have now started the second eldest (19) travelled to Cambodia Vietnam loved every minute then back packed through Europe inter railing

granny activists I don’t know where you got that he’d been named from The BBC news has just said he cannot be named for legal reasons that’s at 6pm

I'm a great believer in groups and safety in numbers. Travelling and meeting people with other friends is magical, but going somewhere private and lonely with a stranger is never a good idea. You need to know the person properly before you put yourself in a vulnerable position.

Technically he cannot be named for the foreseeable future but in this day and age news can come from numerous media and it was obvious someone would put his name (and photos) out there. There is a difference.

Bluebelle
His photo and name has been on the DM site since lunchtime.

Totally agree Chesnut. Safety in numbers is more sensible than individual friendships with people you know absolutely nothing about.

Women would be much safer if they had no contact with men whatsoever. Strangely no one advocates that do they.

BlueBelle he was named earlier today and his photo is all over the internet along with quotes from his family members. As his name is still suppressed in NZ I thought it wise not to repeat it here.

If her death occurred as the result of a sex game to which she consented, the man should be charged with manslaughter, not murder. His biggest crime was trying to dispose of her body. He should have called the police and explained what had happened.

That was a lie that he used to hide what he did. There is a current campaign to introduce legislation that no one can consent to being killed during sex. I hope it is successful.

I absolutely agree about the inappropriateness of trying to blame the victim on the basis of their actions. The blame lies squarely with the perpetrator.

On one level I feel that women should be able to behave however they wish and still be safe from such barbaric behaviour on the part of men. But I guess we all advised our DDs about safe behaviour. I know I certainly did.

What a dreadful situation for her poor parents to have their grief tainted by what must feel to them deeply embarrassing public revelations about the DD whom they loved.

Early on before the case started, the rag aka the DM was criticised in NZ for revealing his name. All they said was that NZ law didn’t apply here. True but morally indefensible. My understanding is that his name is suppressed in NZ as he may exercise his right to appeal. How typical that our gutter press in return for a cheap headline would jeopardise that poor family getting justice. It matters not a jot to anyone in the UK what his name is but many of us care about her family.

If her death occurred as the result of a sex game to which she consented, the man should be charged with manslaughter, not murder

That was indeed the job of the jury ladymuck and they have decided it was murder.
To lose a daughter is bad enough, to have her reputation and morals brought in as a “contributory factor” is unforgivable. Those poor, poor people.

Ladymuck his biggest crime was trying to dispose of her body? Tell that to her family.

The 1950s is alive and well and living on GN.

His biggest crime was trying to dispose of her body. He should have called the police and explained what had happened

I don’t think so. ?.

Firstly, condolences to the family and friends of this young lady. Have to agree with Chestnut. I trust no one, it is unfortunate that sometimes on holiday your guard is not what it should be. You relax more and I think you are less wary. Having said this I absolutely detest Tindr and have warned some younger friends not to use it. There have been sadly other murder victims who have met someone on it. I think this app attracts alot of strange people. I mean no disrespect to the young lady, I just want people to be careful out there.