Boris in Isolation-where is he? what will he do?

Right! Onwards and upwards ( to my study) to start the day’s work, a PM’s lot is not a happy one, much like a policeman’s.
Am wearing a shirt and tie ( in case of zoom meetings) but have my comfy old bermuda shorts on....this is the life, no restricting suits for ages, haha.No sooner do I plonk myself in the recliner than the phone rings and I have to heave myself out and sit at the desk.It’s only Jacob though, wanting, in his words ‘to chew the fat’ ...very trendy words for you Jacob old pal I say, and he laughs his high pitched girlish laugh and says he’s trying out a few modern phrases to show how streetwise he is these days. I say nothing. We talk of this and that for a few mins and then he says he has to go, ‘Am being measured by my tailor for some denim jeans..TTFN’ and he rings off.
What now I think, there are five dossiers requiring my attention on the desk but I feel a bit lethargic ( should I take my temp?) and feel my eyelids closing, so back into the recliner.Carrie storms in soon after with a cup of strong black coffee for me because ‘she knew I would be asleep’ ! I assured her I was just resting my eyes and had just taken an important phone call.She does a twirl whilst I sip my coffee and says ‘Well?’ I gape at her for a second and say “very nice! New hairdo?” She gives me a pitying look and says ‘new earrings but then you never notice the small things do you!’ It’s quite true actually, on a visit to Holyrood I tripped over Nicola Sturgeon. I drink my coffee and say “Is there a digestive biscuit to be had?”

Carrie, get me some mouthwash, no I haven't been swearing in front of Wilf, I want to gargle away the covid germs,

I'm off to the office anyway, the quacks have said it's OK and perfectly safe. There's lots of files around. Need Dom. Dom always read these. I should make a start, but there are so many. Play quick game of F***, marry, avoid with the female Conservative MPs. But get stuck on the cabinet. I mean there's Pritti. You would, well you might, but when she gives you that look.....

Must pay attention to the fishing rights now, don't want all those french bateaux trawling round our waters. That reminds me Carrie I fancy a bit of sturgeon for lunch (or will that be the other way round), and maybe some shooting after lunch, bag me a drake for dinner, (drakeford inner, see what I did there Carrie? Got to foster the old union you know.

Carreeeeeee, there's a set of false teeth in my porridge, what, I nearly choked, there's a microphone in them, that blasted old spy from gransnet has been sniffing round again.
Code name Lemongrove, doesnt fool me. Its an anagram of Ole Nomgrev, that renowned Russia spy.
Careful what you say now, don't tell them your name Carrie.

Ha Ha very funny LauraNorder and Lemon

Come on Carrie must get Breakfast done, oven ready, popty ping, get breakfast done.
On to the green agenda, good lord what have you been feeding Wilfred, too many peas, cor glad I’ve got my mask on.
Come on, have to get breakfast done, get it done.
Pass the playing cards dear, oh no two jokers are missing, how am I supposed to deal, what, what, no deal, will have to reshuffle, a reshuffle indeed, that won’t be priti.
Must get breakfast done

???

Brilliant Lemon Thank you

Crackle mumble mumble “Ah, bedtime! Best time of the day
Eh Carrie?” It’s really strange, but since I started this home working thing, I can hardly keep my eyes open! Have had several little naps already, think I’m more like old Winston than I realised, I’ll be taking up painting next. In fact I do enjoy a bit of colouring in, now that I think of it.
Just before I went to brush my teeth had a surprise call from
Michel Barnier! Charming chappie and so amusing, he said he was sorry to phone so late and hoped we weren’t in the middle of dinner!Haha, it had to be a joke because it was gone
9pm by then.Am not sure if he’s French, Belgian or a Swiss to be honest, but I know he isn’t German because when I met him last year I greeted him in fluent German and he congratulated me on my language skills, but took me by the arm and led me to Frau Merkel ( she frightens me a bit).Anyway I had it wrong because he spoke to her in French.
Anyway, tonight he told me a few anecdotes and discussed
A new play he had just been to see, then (I can hardly say this for laughing.....told you he was an amusing man) he said that we could have all the British waters we wanted but that the EU wanted all the fish! Haha, Michel I said, you crack me up”

Now that you all have access to what’s going on.....there will be many updates no doubt, and I shall look forward to listening in.?I may have to bug other residences over the next few months ( in the national interest of course.)
There are so many conversations of import to hear, I may
Cross the Channel and seek out Michel Barnier’s gaff, or cross the pond and slip into the Oval Office....

We look forward to regular updates lemon. When you overhear BJ flirting with his latest girlfriend who will you tell first? Carrie or Gransnet?

"That tip I gave the deliveroo driver was an awful lot considering my salary."

As long as lemon can still zoom in on here, that's fine.

Lemon sorry you now have to isolate for 14 days!

varian

It sounds so authentic lemon. Have you got the flat at 10 Downing Street bugged?

I have to be honest....yes.As I was an MI5 operative in a former life, I decided to nip up to London on one last job, I miss being in the field sometimes.
Posing as a Deliveroo driver, I gained access easily through the back door ( the security is really lax) I bounded upstairs to the PM’s flat.He was delighted to take the box of Pukka Pies off me ( I said they were from Michael Gove) and while he was ferreting about looking for a plate I managed to bug a lamp in the sitting room, the toaster in the kitchen, a bedside table in the bedroom and the bathroom cabinet.
By that time he’d found a plate and a knife and fork and was tucking in happily.Pausing only to collect a £2 tip from him, I
Raced down the stairs, onto my bike and was off!

Nice one Trisher.

Ellianne

Sounds rude.

What does ?!

No worries Ellianne (as I have developed the habit of saying since having an Aussie citizen son!)

Anyway I'm sipping my vino and relaxing, watching Strictly It takes 2 when Carrie comes in and asks what the hell I think I'm doing. "Checking out future job prospects" I joke. "If Balls can do it so can I" I don't mention the totty but she picks up on it anyway and tells me there's no way I'm subjecting us to the Strictly Curse. By the time I've convinced her I'm hers for ever the programme's finished. If it comes to it I'm doing Strictly and not that thing where they make you eat bugs. Too much lke boarding school and you don't even get a trip to Australia now. And then there is the totty.......

Sounds rude.

Well I’m not reading all those documents from Sage, far too boring. Where’s my handy guide to Latin phrase to impress the plebs ?
In flagrante delicto ? Oh maybe not
In vino veritas ? Er, no

PS good alliteration.

I'm being "lighthearted" Lucca, you should know that by now! It shows our versatility that we can laugh sometimes, with the occasional dig, as well as being serious.

Ellianne.if I were a sensitive soul I could feel you were picking on me. As it is I’ll have a glass of wine and congratulate self on keeping vow to ignore the Meghan mauling and harry hounding threads.

Keep em coming Lemongrove!

"What I'm really really missing are those weekly visits to see her Maj. They were supposed to be the highlight of this tedious job. Carrie, switch on another episode of The Crown so I can get my fix."