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The fear women live with

(335 Posts)
Whitewavemark2 Thu 11-Mar-21 08:35:38

I have been listening to the news about Sarah Everard and reflecting on her death.

One comment that definitely rang true with me is the comment that “there won’t be a woman in the country, who, walking home after dark, doesn’t feel a frisson of fear if they sense someone walking behind them”

The commentary then went on to say that a woman being killed in this way is a very rare occurrence, but someone then said the killing of women is not rare, in fact since Sarah’s death 6 more women and a little girl have been killed. These I assume are domestic violence.

But that knowledge is utterly appalling. Something really must be done. I feel very troubled by this.

Nanna58 Tue 16-Mar-21 17:46:42

Okay, well- let’s not just roll our eyes, we need to find ways to help those people who aren’t seeing that they may not be raising their boys properly to face it and do something about it, and if that’s not possible even to bypass the parents in some instances, educate more at school and even involve Social Services by viewing mysogenistic ‘ upbringing ‘ as a form of child abuse. Just sayin....

suziewoozie Tue 16-Mar-21 17:46:04

AGAA4

No. I will still not go out at night alone. This is just putting a sticking plaster on a serious underlying problem.

It’s what happens so often - governments want quick easy short term cosmetic fixes to complex long term multi faceted problems. That’s not to deny that some ‘quick wins’ won’t help but it’s like the free school meals problem, reinstating them in the holidays won’t solve deep seated problems of poverty and deprivation.

AGAA4 Tue 16-Mar-21 16:47:21

No. I will still not go out at night alone. This is just putting a sticking plaster on a serious underlying problem.

suziewoozie Tue 16-Mar-21 16:47:09

Blossoming

Do you feel reassured by this announcement ladies?

www.gov.uk/government/news/government-moves-to-provide-reassurance-to-women-and-girls-15-march-2021

In a word ...No

Blossoming Tue 16-Mar-21 16:43:19

Do you feel reassured by this announcement ladies?

www.gov.uk/government/news/government-moves-to-provide-reassurance-to-women-and-girls-15-march-2021

AGAA4 Tue 16-Mar-21 16:40:02

I had a chat with my son about this and he said that men need to address the issue or it will just carry on.
He told me he has seen the way men behave towards women and is sickened by it. Unfortunately most men will just ignore the catcalling, leering at young girls etc. and just think 'total prats'.
If men made it clear that the behaviour is reprehensible and not funny maybe things would get better.

suziewoozie Tue 16-Mar-21 16:29:12

Summerlove

Nanna58

As I have posted previously we seriously need to be pro active and not re active , let’s have a complete and in-depth review into what can be done to raise boys in such a way that this terrible problem can be ,hopefully, if not completely eradicated, much lessened.

The problem is that so many people feel they are raising their boys properly

Ain’t that the truth ?

Summerlove Tue 16-Mar-21 16:27:38

Nanna58

As I have posted previously we seriously need to be pro active and not re active , let’s have a complete and in-depth review into what can be done to raise boys in such a way that this terrible problem can be ,hopefully, if not completely eradicated, much lessened.

The problem is that so many people feel they are raising their boys properly

Nanna58 Tue 16-Mar-21 14:14:45

As I have posted previously we seriously need to be pro active and not re active , let’s have a complete and in-depth review into what can be done to raise boys in such a way that this terrible problem can be ,hopefully, if not completely eradicated, much lessened.

suziewoozie Tue 16-Mar-21 14:05:50

varian

The certainty of being caught is a vastly more powerful deterrent than the punishment.

Research shows clearly that the chance of being caught is a vastly more effective deterrent than even draconian punishment.

nij.ojp.gov/topics/articles/five-things-about-deterrence

The Tory party and their supporters in the press love to talk about longer prison sentences when they should really be addressing the scandalously low conviction rate for attacks on women.

Exactly - people who commit all types of violence against women can rely on one or more of the following
The offence not being reported
The offence not being investigated/ recorded
The offender not being caught
The offender not being prosecuted

varian Tue 16-Mar-21 13:59:16

The certainty of being caught is a vastly more powerful deterrent than the punishment.

Research shows clearly that the chance of being caught is a vastly more effective deterrent than even draconian punishment.

nij.ojp.gov/topics/articles/five-things-about-deterrence

The Tory party and their supporters in the press love to talk about longer prison sentences when they should really be addressing the scandalously low conviction rate for attacks on women.

suziewoozie Tue 16-Mar-21 09:33:45

vegansrock

The law does not protect women. Longer sentences for defacing a statue than stalking. very low convictions for rape. Horrible case in the paper today about a women murdered by her ex, despite him having convictions for violence , magistrates released him on bail. Two days later she was murdered by him slashing her throat.

Sadly it’s worse than that - longer sentences for defacing a statue than for rape. That puts us in our box doesn’t it ?

Iam64 Tue 16-Mar-21 09:28:14

Apologies for my inability to post links. Marina Hyde’s article in today’s Guardian gives a clear report of her experience of sexual harassment yesterday. She was walking to pick up her son from primary school. The man followed her, used aggressive offensive language.
If every woman reported this kind of incident and it was logged as a hate crime - would that make any difference

Beeb Mon 15-Mar-21 14:03:54

vegansrock I agree. The law does not protect women. Think I was trying to say that laws have improved a bit. We now have offences about stalking and coercive, controlling behaviour, and domestic violence is being given higher priority by the police. It’s not enough though, much more needs to be done. Discussions like this are so important to raise awareness and put public pressure on the system for change.

maddyone Mon 15-Mar-21 10:55:34

The difference in policing of the two events is astounding.

Impartialandeducated Mon 15-Mar-21 08:45:21

Sparkling... what are the police supposed to do? Well there are precedents during which police supported the demonstrators back in May. Police took the knee, entered into amicable banter, largely ignored the apparently therapeutic looting from shops. The pandemic threat level was actually greater at the earlier stage. So why not adopt a similar policy? Those women would have posed no threat in terms of the initiation of violence and the catharsis of smashing glass in order to misappropriate tekevisions and the like was rendered impossible by the nature of the venue. I suspect that british womens lives do not matter!

vegansrock Mon 15-Mar-21 08:19:57

The law does not protect women. Longer sentences for defacing a statue than stalking. very low convictions for rape. Horrible case in the paper today about a women murdered by her ex, despite him having convictions for violence , magistrates released him on bail. Two days later she was murdered by him slashing her throat.

JdotJ Mon 15-Mar-21 08:10:44

As I read on another platform.
'All women live under a curfew'

Beeb Sun 14-Mar-21 23:18:36

Thank you Whitewavemark2 for starting this thread. It’s a huge subject where it’s easy to get sidetracked. So many good points have been made. I agree with those saying there is societal responsibility - how we raise children, understanding the potential effects of abuse , and recognising the impact of violence portrayed in the media and in films. My understanding ( people may disagree) is that biological differences in terms of instinct and testosterone, generally mean that males can be more aggressive and visually stimulated than females. This isn’t justifying sexual harassment or violence, but needs to be taken into consideration when trying to make progress with the issues. Legislation has improved to protect women but there is obviously a long way to go. It’s also important to state that it’s only some males who behave badly and not tar all with the same brush.

Summerlove Sun 14-Mar-21 21:53:57

AcornFairy

*Summerlove*. I don’t understand your comment about “women’s faults” in response to Katie59 ‘s post. If only we could find common ground instead of looking for who is at fault. None of us are ever going to be perfect, so surely establishing positive ways forward instead of creating divisions is something to aim for.

Boehr were told not to go and they went anyway.

implying that women who were hurt or hurt because they were told not to go and they did anyway.

Would be lovely to find common ground where women weren’t constantly blamed for men’s actions

Sparkling Sun 14-Mar-21 21:20:21

It’s ok for crowds of people to gather in a pandemic and the police are supposed to look away. It was totally irresponsible.
Just what are the police supposed to do. Non of us can have even our family close but people that demonstrate are supposed to be free of the virus are they . The police are in trouble whatever they do, they do a difficult job trying to protect us according to the law. The courts should have banned the gathering. I am disgusted the way government and courts will not make these decisions and leave the police to get the flack. It is dreadful and shameful what happened to Sarah, but this hasn’t helped anyone.

suziewoozie Sun 14-Mar-21 20:40:33

B9exchange

Bluebelle, what did you mean by But surely this is different what could this girl have done to Wayne Couzens to have made him so violent?

She didn't do anything to him, he just attacked her out of the blue, but even if she had said something to him out of fear, does that justify kidnap and murder?

You shouldn’t be discussing this - it’s now subjudice. I’m sure you want a fair trial don’t you? You should ask HQ to delete it

suziewoozie Sun 14-Mar-21 20:38:03

Thank you for posting that Pedwards.. I think the problem is with many people see the world in very black and white terms. They want the security and simplicity of someone being simply a goodie or a baddie . If we acknowledge as a society how much we let some of our children down and that some of them grow up into broken adults, it would mean assuming a societal responsibility rather than just writing off the broken adult as bad and not worthy of help or understanding. It would also mean accepting responsibility for providing better support to struggling families, better housing, benefits, child care and education. I think as a society less and less people want to do that and those of us who do are sneered at by many.,

Impartialandeducated Sun 14-Mar-21 20:31:05

Whitewave not sure what you mean. Is it that the police cannot simply let it pass just as they did last May on many nights in support of BLM. Do career criminals from anoyher continent merit more acknowkedgement than British women.

B9exchange Sun 14-Mar-21 20:30:26

Bluebelle, what did you mean by But surely this is different what could this girl have done to Wayne Couzens to have made him so violent?

She didn't do anything to him, he just attacked her out of the blue, but even if she had said something to him out of fear, does that justify kidnap and murder?