The fear women live with

Delene100

This has always been the case re safety for women. We have to use our common sense. I would rather splash out on a taxi than walk in the dark for over an hour. The outside is not safe anymore so we have to view all strangers as potential foes. I am 70 now but years ago I was groped on a crowded London tube. I firmly stuck my stiletto heels into his foot and got off at the next stop.

I had a call from a friend yesterday that she and a friend, was walking in broad daylight, with her five year old child. Her friend was stabbed in the leg and she was slightly bruised. We all need to carry something like a small can of hairspray or panic alarm. We need to keep ourselves safe by not walking alone at night, arranging to take a taxi home, etc.

Not wanting to speak ill of the dead, the deceased broke lockdown rules by visiting a friend. Sadly no one mentioned this. May this lovely young girl rest in peace.

Victim blaming with bells knobs and whistles. Hang your head in shame Delene 100

Taxis are not safe. Grooming scandals and John Warboys anyone? I made sure my then 17 year olds had the emergency cab fare (along with dad or I will come and always stay in a group etc etc). They told me 20 years ago taxis were awful because “sleazy drivers’ tried it on.

I am optimistic that things can and will change, albeit slowly. Women no longer on the whole put up with the type of sexism and harassment that they did in my youth. However obviously we still have a long way to go. I just wish there was more solidarity amongst females, instead of some of the less than supportive comments, and acceptance of the status quo on here.

Atqui

Ban pornography for a start

And this is another depressing aspect. Thanks for that ?

Ban pornography for a start

Galaxy

And taxis are not safe. You might want to listen to the precautions young women feel they need to take getting into a taxi. I actually dont think the vigils or protests will change things to be honest. It's to do with all sorts of things, prosecution rates, the disbelief of women, the myths that surround the behaviour of rape victims, porn, the list just goes on and on.

Fair point re taxis. Quite a counsel of despair there ?. I think the current discussions might just might make some people a bit more aware but this type of change is so difficult. I think the most depressing aspect is the everyday sexism that goes unremarked upon or is seen as not a big deal. That’s a place to start and we could all play a part in that - well those of us who think it matters could. Like the poster’s husband who told off the men in the pub. Drip drip

And taxis are not safe. You might want to listen to the precautions young women feel they need to take getting into a taxi. I actually dont think the vigils or protests will change things to be honest. It's to do with all sorts of things, prosecution rates, the disbelief of women, the myths that surround the behaviour of rape victims, porn, the list just goes on and on.

Excuse typos - I’m just fed up of having to repeat myself

Kandinsky

In an ideal world we should all be able to live our lives in peace & harmony, going where we want when we want without a care in the world. But it will never be like that ever. There’s just too many nutters about & no amount of candlelight vigils will stop that.
Woman have to be sensible ( and so do men as they get murdered by strangers more often ) I have two daughters. I always tell them to get a cab home and never walk home alone at night. I tell my son that too!
It’s just not worth the risk. It’s never going to change.

Who’s talking about an ideal world? We’re talking about doing what we can to make it a safer works. No one expects a vigil to do that - any vigil is a symbol of a hoped for change. And it’s not ‘nutters’ ( which is an ableist word anyway and demeans people with mental health problems) but ordinary men who cat call from van windows, leer at schoolgirls, tub up again women on the tube, grope them by the photocopier and generally facilitate and enable the more extreme of their brothers to indulge in violence. And perhaps you’ve got advice from low paid women about taking a taxi home from work or a nurse returning to her car late at night after finishing her shift ?

In an ideal world we should all be able to live our lives in peace & harmony, going where we want when we want without a care in the world. But it will never be like that ever. There’s just too many nutters about & no amount of candlelight vigils will stop that.
Woman have to be sensible ( and so do men as they get murdered by strangers more often ) I have two daughters. I always tell them to get a cab home and never walk home alone at night. I tell my son that too!
It’s just not worth the risk. It’s never going to change.

Galaxy

You can be careful for yourself. I am sorry but that's just nonsense said to make people feel better.

You can be careful of yourself but that doesn’t always work. These incidents can happen at the most unexpected times.
We can’t be in flight mode 24/7.
A couple of weeks ago there was an article on a tv programme extolling the joy of walking at night. Works wonders for your peace of mind apparently.
I couldn’t have been the only woman watching that thinking ‘what’!!

SueDonim

Wow, Delene100, you don’t want to speak ill of the dead and then you do just that? As for taking taxis, have you not heard of John Worboys? Carrie Simmons was one of his targets, who thankfully escaped. Others weren’t so lucky.

The real issue is taxis cost money - I posted an example of a shop worker attacked on her way home. Doubt she could afford taxis.

Wow, Delene100, you don’t want to speak ill of the dead and then you do just that? As for taking taxis, have you not heard of John Worboys? Carrie Simmons was one of his targets, who thankfully escaped. Others weren’t so lucky.

Alegrias1

Does anyone else see a correlation between "men get attacked too" and "all lives matter"?

Yes.

A thread about women’s fear often gets turned around to men’s.

All very similar.

Marginalized groups don’t deserve their own threads

Women are demanding that the streets should be safer, what we should be demanding is that our children boys and girls, should respect more and behave better. Of course that means accepting the responsibility ourselves to do our part

And that’s done through education abs discipline in the home. Education in real life.

Something many of us have done for years.

Others, find it all a joke and encourage it. Even women. Some call certain assaults “silly”. They complain their sons are afraid to look at a woman.

You’ve really missed my point.

Many families are complicit.

Read a cat calling thread.

This is a widespread problem, and nothing to do with “not being allowed to discipline in schools

www.gov.uk/government/consultations/violence-against-women-and-girls-vawg-call-for-evidence/violence-against-women-and-girls-vawg-strategy-2021-2024-call-for-evidence

I wonder what words of advice/wisdom/condemnation Delene has for the shop worker attacked on her way home from work?

Delene what a distasteful post and a terrible thing to say.

Wayne Couzens broke the oath of the police as his job would be to uphold personal and physical safety to the public.
A much bigger thing to think about and for men like that women have no chance of being safe.
Sounds like he acted worse than an animal.

Who needs to worry about the attitudes of men when we’ve got women like Delene? I can’t decide whether to respond properly to her post or if I’m far too angry about it so to do.

I found your post distasteful and inappropriate under the circumstances Delene100 and I second your’s Galaxy.

For fucks sake.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Alegrias1

Does anyone else see a correlation between "men get attacked too" and "all lives matter"?

Yes.

facepalm

We don’t need to bring back the birch,we do need to expect a much better standard of behavior, yes, that will mean restricting personal freedoms, but do we really want paramedics, firemen or police abused at emergency scenes.

Instead of complaining we should do something about it, it’s just crazy that nurses at A&E have to be protected from patients by security guards, or don’t we care.

lemsip

He has been a police officer for 10 years NOT 3 as previously stated by a poster...

He transferred to the Met in Sept 18 from the Civil Nuclear Constabulary where he was one of the armed police guarding Dungeness. He had worked there since 2011

You cant. And even if you do they will just do it to another woman.