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The fear women live with

(335 Posts)
Whitewavemark2 Thu 11-Mar-21 08:35:38

I have been listening to the news about Sarah Everard and reflecting on her death.

One comment that definitely rang true with me is the comment that “there won’t be a woman in the country, who, walking home after dark, doesn’t feel a frisson of fear if they sense someone walking behind them”

The commentary then went on to say that a woman being killed in this way is a very rare occurrence, but someone then said the killing of women is not rare, in fact since Sarah’s death 6 more women and a little girl have been killed. These I assume are domestic violence.

But that knowledge is utterly appalling. Something really must be done. I feel very troubled by this.

25Avalon Sat 13-Mar-21 08:45:05

No Galaxy I don’t think it is nonsense to be careful for ourselves. We can carry rape alarms, learn self defence, etc. How else do we try to keep safe? We shouldn’t have to but we do. Most men are physically stronger than women and short of carrying a firearm how do we stop the bad ones? We have to be aware and cautious sadly. I

lemsip Sat 13-Mar-21 08:44:22

He has been a police officer for 10 years NOT 3 as previously stated by a poster...

suziewoozie Sat 13-Mar-21 08:36:26

Alegrias1

Does anyone else see a correlation between "men get attacked too" and "all lives matter"?

Yes

BlueSky Sat 13-Mar-21 08:36:06

Agree Sparkling. How dreadful for your grandson to have been attacked. This is a big worry for us who have DGS too, not just DGD. I don’t know what the solution is sadly.

Galaxy Sat 13-Mar-21 08:34:45

You can be careful for yourself. I am sorry but that's just nonsense said to make people feel better.

25Avalon Sat 13-Mar-21 08:32:09

Ok Singapore has public cannings but that hasn’t stopped the “wrongdoings” that lead to the canning so it doesn’t work, just as the birch didn’t work in this country. It is barbaric.

We should all be able to go out freely at anytime but I don’t know what you do to achieve this. We can protest all we like but there are still nutters out there who present a risk. Putting a 6pm curfew on men is unworkable and not the answer either. There are far more decent men out there than these few who perpetrate these dreadful crimes. Anyone vulnerable has to be careful for themselves. It’s not how it should be but how it is. At best all you can do is educate and instil decent values across society but the majority already have that.

BlueBelle Sat 13-Mar-21 08:21:33

Oh gosh nana8 what about a stake and bonfire or perhaps the gullitine while you do your knitting
Yes me. Do get killed on the streets but almost always by other men so the simple equation is men are often violent
But surely this is different what could this girl have done to Wayne Couzens to have made him so violent

I was very surprised to read he only entered the police 3 years ago I didn’t even realise you could start a police career at 45 ?

Oldwoman70 Sat 13-Mar-21 08:13:28

nanna8

Maybe places like Singapore have the right idea. Public canings.

Can't agree with that - it merely confirms that violence equals power.

I would prefer to see imprisonment combined with compulsory courses regarding equality and respect

Alegrias1 Sat 13-Mar-21 08:07:30

Does anyone else see a correlation between "men get attacked too" and "all lives matter"?

suziewoozie Sat 13-Mar-21 07:46:40

nanna8

Maybe places like Singapore have the right idea. Public canings.

No

nanna8 Sat 13-Mar-21 07:32:27

Maybe places like Singapore have the right idea. Public canings.

Sparkling Sat 13-Mar-21 07:30:04

I won't walk alone in certain areas, I park my car where it can be seen easily, carry an alarm and havevhad a few unpleasant encounters over the years,don't go out after dark on my own now, but I know these awful men are the minority, but you always have to be vigilant. So do young men, in the wider area of my home three young men have been knifed to death, we hear of it a lot, not a rare occurrence, my grandson had an unprovoked attack and was beaten up for his iPhone, he is over 6ft and fit, gym and running etc, but no match against a gang of 6 coming from behind him, all on Ct.v. He is the kindest person and would never raise his hand except to defend himself. I do think most people get their values from their family, unfortunately dysfunctional families frequently have children that are. Violence breeds violence. It is men and women that suffer abuse. I feel so much for Sarah's family, her boyfriend and friends, a lovely young woman with her life before her, taken in this savage way.

Katie59 Sat 13-Mar-21 07:27:03

Summerlove

If their families think the same, of course they won’t discipline.

You are literally defending rape culture by blaming alcohol.

Dont be silly their families would be horrified if they saw or heard them behaving that way, yes there are families that set a bad example most dont.

Society does not discipline children, many parents don’t, schools don’t, police don’t, bad behavior does not have consequences, until they commit a major crime. Many young men simply don’t grow up and spend much of their cash on alcohol and drugs.

Women are demanding that the streets should be safer, what we should be demanding is that our children boys and girls, should respect more and behave better. Of course that means accepting the responsibility ourselves to do our part

Eloethan Sat 13-Mar-21 00:14:38

I don't want the police "taking their jackets off" to sort out criminals. That makes them criminals too and no better than vigilantes. I want people who are accused of a crime to be taken to court in a timely way. Unfortunately, because our justice system has been run down for the last few years, compounded by the pandemic, some cases will now take years to come to court.

Summerlove Fri 12-Mar-21 23:26:20

If their families think the same, of course they won’t discipline.

You are literally defending rape culture by blaming alcohol.

Summerlove Fri 12-Mar-21 23:23:46

Katie59

“ ....they get these attitudes from their family and those the mix with”

Not their families, they do it because they can, nobody disciplines them, even those that go to private schools are just as bad, a few drinks and any respect goes out of the window.
On the other side a good few of the girls behave like alley cats.

.....who is meant to discipline them, if not their families?

suziewoozie Fri 12-Mar-21 22:00:15

Katie59

“ ....they get these attitudes from their family and those the mix with”

Not their families, they do it because they can, nobody disciplines them, even those that go to private schools are just as bad, a few drinks and any respect goes out of the window.
On the other side a good few of the girls behave like alley cats.

Really?

Katie59 Fri 12-Mar-21 21:57:13

“ ....they get these attitudes from their family and those the mix with”

Not their families, they do it because they can, nobody disciplines them, even those that go to private schools are just as bad, a few drinks and any respect goes out of the window.
On the other side a good few of the girls behave like alley cats.

OnwardandUpward Fri 12-Mar-21 20:59:28

I am almost speechless @Suziewoozie

Perhaps he would have been jailed if he was unemployed, but maybe they would have used a different excuse. It's disgraceful because they will probably do it again.

Sometimes these men just move area or change their name to avoid detection.

suziewoozie Fri 12-Mar-21 19:21:56

Yes Onward nothing will change when this current fest is over. My other takeaway is that he would’ve bern jailed if unemployed?.

OnwardandUpward Fri 12-Mar-21 19:07:13

suziewoozie

My takeaways from this case

It took over 2 years to get to court
Her life has been on hold
Men’s jobs matter more than women’s lives and safety
She was silly for coming back from work

It's not acceptable.

What can we do? Why have we come so far as women, to not be doing better than THIS?

We've just had women's day and women are still being trafficked, women are still being killed for being women. In India wonen are gang raped and then stoned. It's not acceptable. In the UK we think we have rights, and then something like this happens and I just wonder, do we?

EllanVannin Fri 12-Mar-21 19:01:38

suziewoozie

EllanVannin

Remember when police used to take their jackets off to these characters ? I do. This was the 60's. Police were more on foot then so were more aware and they were never far away if you needed them because sub-stations were dotted around and you always felt safe.

Oh the good old 60s - no police corruption, no fitting up of the innocent, no racism, no sexism. Please let’s keep a sense of proportion about the police service and the past.

What's that supposed to mean ?

suziewoozie Fri 12-Mar-21 19:01:27

My takeaways from this case

It took over 2 years to get to court
Her life has been on hold
Men’s jobs matter more than women’s lives and safety
She was silly for coming back from work

OnwardandUpward Fri 12-Mar-21 18:49:37

suziewoozie

Gosh that was kind, thinking of his job

www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/dad-who-attacked-woman-walking-23694175

That is shocking.

This is what we're up against, ladies.
They could at least have printed his photo, to warn women who he is. You know, he's going to do this again. He hasn't been punished. This is horrific and not just.

Condolences to the family of Sarah flowers

In her name , lets try to make a difference. I don't know how, but let's try. If there's something we can do - for ourselves, our daughters, granddaughters, sisters, aunts, mothers, daughter in laws and mother in laws then lets do it.

suziewoozie Fri 12-Mar-21 18:42:29

Gosh that was kind, thinking of his job

www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/dad-who-attacked-woman-walking-23694175