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Pupils taught how to respect and behave around women.

(37 Posts)
Blossoming Thu 01-Apr-21 14:21:33

This is a positive step, and the most heartening thing to me is the pupils requested it.

www.itv.com/news/granada/2021-04-01/pupils-at-wellacre-academy-get-lessons-in-how-to-respect-and-behave-around-women-following-sarah-everard-death

welbeck Sun 04-Apr-21 17:18:05

it starts from infancy.
babies not being thrust into the arms of someone they clearly dislike, or just don't want to be near at that moment.
toddlers being told to go kiss aunty, or even worse, uncle.
most young parents now realise how wrong that was, but some older relatives still have these expectations, and it can cause conflict.
if children are brought up with appropriate autonomy, they are more likely to naturally recognise the rights of others.

welbeck Sun 04-Apr-21 17:11:19

absent, i don't quite understand your point.
is not everyone worthy of respect, unless they do something to lose it. how would a profoundly disabled person earn your respect, if they could not move or speak.
and how do you distinguish respect from courtesy.

grannypiper Sun 04-Apr-21 14:08:16

Girls also need to be taught self respect and self defense

Sago Sun 04-Apr-21 12:23:58

It is up to the parents to teach manners and respect, sadly though many parents do not know the meaning of the words.
So the poor teachers have to cram something else into an already full curriculum.

I am not on FB but my daughter sent me a screen shot of a young girl 15 ish, she was pouting and exposing most of her breasts.
She was asking if anyone male or female wanted to pop round and lick chocolate off her breasts.
It wasn’t worded quite as politely.

How can this girl have so little respect for herself?

There is little hope.

lemsip Sun 04-Apr-21 09:55:28

eazybee I agree with you. couldn't have said it better myself.
Manners are not just the 'say please and thankyou' type. consideration for others and do as you would be done by.

my family were taught about law and order as we grew older.

eazybee Sun 04-Apr-21 09:35:01

You cannot sit pupils down and give them lessons in respect for each other. It needs to be inculcated very early on, with constantly addressing simple behaviour issues among children; pushing, shouting, rough play, taunting; thanking others for kindnesses such as opening doors, carrying things etc. You then have a basis to work on as children grow older that you treat each other with respect, and also yourself;
Parents have to deal with these issues but so many don't, and the influence and power of social media is insidious and very hard to combat, as is that of alcohol. Schools have to deal with the consequences; they are not the instigators.

Oswin Sun 04-Apr-21 01:11:15

kircubbin2000

A lot of girls have no self respect and copy behaviour seen in Love Island and pop videos,many of which are practically obscene.
They dress in a slutty way and you can see the pictures they put on Snapchat or Instagram,. No wonder boys are confused.

Oh gosh. What an awful thing to say. So girls are being sexually assaulted and harassed and you lay the blame with the girls?!

Iam64 Fri 02-Apr-21 13:45:21

Blossoming, thanks for the OP. What a lot of negative responses. Good on these pupils for wanting some support and structure in discussing complex stuff. I hope the staff have more support than they;d get here

kircubbin2000 Fri 02-Apr-21 13:44:12

A lot of girls have no self respect and copy behaviour seen in Love Island and pop videos,many of which are practically obscene.
They dress in a slutty way and you can see the pictures they put on Snapchat or Instagram,. No wonder boys are confused.

CShotnik Fri 02-Apr-21 13:39:37

It starts at home! Value a moral compass. Teachers are required to reach into areas they do not belong, respect is earned.

M0nica Fri 02-Apr-21 13:15:07

Unfortunately schools end up having the failings of parents. But we need to draw a line between what happens in school and happens out of school.

Schools need to have very strict rules about sexually explicit behaviour and talk in school and then, most importantly, they must implement it. Sex education also needs to address the subject.

Outside school, the schools can have no remit. If under 18s indulge in sexual, talk, harrassment or abuse, as these children are of school age, then the school gets mentioned even though the offences are unrelated to their schooling.

I think it needs to be made clear to children that any conversation, action or incited action is sexual abuse and that it will be reported to the police. The police must then take appropriate action, whuch may be anything from a reprimand to a court case and again must apply the rule.

It is the certainity of punishment not the severity of punishment that matters.

BlueSky Fri 02-Apr-21 12:42:32

Good post BlueBelle!

absent Thu 01-Apr-21 22:08:01

I have always believed that respect has to be earned and should not automatically be granted. I wince when I hear someone say show some respect to [some random group of people]. My feeling is why should I respect someone just because she or he has acquired some feature through no skill of their own – say, growing old or being a woman. Equally, I cannot respect someone simply for her or his being a teacher, a doctor or a government minister, for example, if that individual is actually lousy at the job.

Of course everyone should be treated with courtesy, even if they are discourteous or downright rude themselves.

Rosie51 Thu 01-Apr-21 19:58:03

Redhead56

I brought both my children up to be polite and respectable. I don't believe it is the schools responsibility it is the parents.

Of course it's the parents' responsibility, but if they don't who else can attempt to fill the gap but the schools?

Katie59 Thu 01-Apr-21 19:52:56

Yes society as a whole must show more respect to each other, most of us do but it is pretty depressing reading this thread how little respect there is. With so many children brought up in households where lack of respect is a everyday fact of life, what hope is there.

Redhead56 Thu 01-Apr-21 19:42:29

I brought both my children up to be polite and respectable. I don't believe it is the schools responsibility it is the parents.

Rosie51 Thu 01-Apr-21 18:52:09

GagaJo

EllanVanin, the teachers you are referring to are sexual predators. NOT proper teachers. This has ALWAYS gone on. I remember 2 teachers who were like this when I was at school. The difference is, then it was all hidden and swept under the carpet.

As with any child abuser, they are very careful to hide and cover their tracks, so no one can tell.

Please do not tar proper teachers with the brush of perverts.

While I totally agree that these people are sexual predators, surely that also goes for sexual predators in any other walk of life be that clergy, medical, the police, social workers etc etc. Are they all to be disassociated from their professions, so not proper clergy, proper medical practitioner, proper police, proper social worker? Sexual predators will always try to gain easy access to their preferred prey, and if they are able enough to qualify as a teacher for example that will ensure a steady stream of potential victims. Of course the vast majority of teachers, like the vast majority of people, are not sexual predators.
To return to the original post, respectful engagement with all others must start from toddlerhood in the home, but does need to be reinforced by schools as the child progresses. I'm not necessarily advocating specialist lessons throughout the education years, but a zero tolerance for disrespectful behaviour in all areas would be a good start. School enforcement of acceptable behaviour is even more important for those children who grow up in homes where this isn't the norm. Society as a whole needs to be more willing to challenge unacceptable behaviour in public instead of wilfully ignoring it.

sodapop Thu 01-Apr-21 17:54:08

Those sort of messages should begin at home and be reinforced at school. Unfortunately many parents of both boys and girls do not teach self respect or respect for others.
Parents should teach by example in an ideal world.

Mamardoit Thu 01-Apr-21 17:19:19

Yes unfortunately there was sometimes double standards. A lad was just sowing his wild oats but a girl doing similar was called some awful names. So many offensive names used to describe women too.

Smileless2012 Thu 01-Apr-21 17:17:31

This is something that should be supported within schools, not taught by them, that is the responsibility of parents.

H1954 Thu 01-Apr-21 17:11:13

Many years ago I recall my friends father telling his son to 'get out there lad and get as much as yer can' whilst preaching to his daughters to 'keep their knickers on'! Double standards or what?

Fennel Thu 01-Apr-21 16:59:01

"This has always gone on" - We as a family were shocked to hear that younger son's english teacher had ended in prison after an affair with a ?16 yr old pupil was revealed.
Even though it seemed to be a genuine love affair from both sides it was legally child exploitation.
This would also be seen as a 'lesson ' by other teachers and pupils.
Another strange story -the husband of a friend was a primary teacher . " of his 9yr old pupils accused him of touching them. They later owned up to making the story up but he already had a bad name and resigned.
So many aspects to the problem.

AGAA4 Thu 01-Apr-21 16:53:35

Children always learn what they see. If a child is brought up in a home where no respect is shown to the girls/women of the family then I don't think lessons at school will help much.

Also teachers would have to undergo training to teach this with any success and most are stressed with their load already.

GrannyGravy13 Thu 01-Apr-21 16:33:06

Surely it’s all about appropriate and good behaviour throughout the school and beyond, which in my opinion should be common place.

There are only so many hours in a school day and at the moment as the UK education system emerges from a year of Covid turmoil the teachers have enough to cope with.

GagaJo Thu 01-Apr-21 16:30:37

EllanVanin, the teachers you are referring to are sexual predators. NOT proper teachers. This has ALWAYS gone on. I remember 2 teachers who were like this when I was at school. The difference is, then it was all hidden and swept under the carpet.

As with any child abuser, they are very careful to hide and cover their tracks, so no one can tell.

Please do not tar proper teachers with the brush of perverts.