Should there be apologies made for adoptions

I still can't see how anyone could object to an apology if that is what some (obviously not all ) of the girls that this happened to would wish for. It would be, as has been said earlier in the thread, an acknowledgement of their pain, and if it helped in any small way, I really can't see the harm.

As for "where would the girls and their babies have lived?" my friend and her baby were looked after in small commune after her parents would not let her go home with her baby (at 17 years old) the commune supported them both. They were good people, not religious, just decent.

An apology from the Government is meaningless Ilovecheese how was it their fault that girls were treated in this way. Just pandering to emotions.

I agree with "what would the neighbours say " Anniebach but I still think that this was a result of pressure from religious leaders of most denominations. At the very least they lacked compassion and at worst vilified the girls.

The story from Felice backs that up Sodapop.

If the likes of the Anglican, R.C. Methodists and Salvation Army hadn’t run the homes where would the girls have gone ?

I fostered some babies direct from hospital and sometimes was involved in working with the new adoptive parents, showing them how to do things like bathing, feeding etc.

The religious houses did some dreadful things in the way they managed young girls who were pregnant.

An even worse alternative back in those days was the illegal backstreet abortions, often resulting in such buchery that the girl could never ever have any future pregnancy.

Some local authorities back then did try to set up fostering arangements for these young Mums to go into with their babies - when they could not return to their homes. However, foster parents back then, djdnot receive any sort of wage or payment, just a very small amount of money to cover out-of-pocket expenses, so it made it extremely difficult to attract people into fostering.

I am, so fortunately, not in a position to know whether an apology can help in any way. It does, thought, accept how wrong so much of this forced taking away of babies were. There were, of course, many of these babies adopted into otherwise childless homes, and brought up with great love and care.

I think the government has less apologising to do than the various Churches who were implicit in the shaming of unmarried mothers and were the force behind many of the sad stories we hear from earlier decades.

I blame the "hard-hearted Hannahs" who took the babies from their mothers-----without question. All they were short of were jack-boots. What type of a woman could/ would do that to anyone ? Did none of them have a voice ?
Pankhurst's words/ marches were in vain weren't they ?

The mother and baby home I was in was not at all bad, (nothing like the Magdalene laundries although we did have to do a lot of washing and housework!!! but people were not unkind to us )there were girls from all over Devon there,about 10 I think and I still remember the matron,Mrs Leeman a very dour Scotswoman but with a heart of gold.When my daughter turned 18 I did get in touch with a society that helps bring adoptees and their birth parents together but she had not registered to find me and I can’t say I blame her, she had no choice in the adoption. A social worker at the time did say to me that very often the adoptee will wait until her parents have passed away and then search for the birth mother. I don’t think I have any right to expect anything, all I would like to know is that she has had a good life and that would be enough for me. And thank you for all your kind comments ??? I did keep in touch with one of the ladies who used to help at the home for years and years until I had a letter from her daughter saying she had died of cancer and that broke my heart, she had been such a kind woman

Shinamae I'm glad it wasn't an awful place. The home near where I lived seemed to look after the girls well. They would use the shops close to my house and would walk down with the babies in prams to buy bits and pieces.

I found the mothers had a facebook group and exchanged many stories about the area, the home, the staff etc. Lots seem to have positive memories about staff members they liked.

The home was a religious home.

Why was the girl always blamed and ostracised?

Thank heavens for contraception.

Those denominations may well have run the homes Anniebach but it was pressure from them that made it necessary in the first place.

It's very fashionable today to demand apologies for things that happened in the past but I can't see it doing any real good. For one thing, those apologising had nothing the to do with the original wrong, so how can their apology be worth anything.

I don't see what difference an apology would make. You can't change the past.

the govt at the time allowed those practices to go on.
they did not stand up for the human rights of the mothers or babies.
they could have brought laws in to give rights and basic sustenance and shelter to young mothers in that situation.
but they didn't. not until much later.
so i think it is right and fitting that they issue an official apology.

Totally agree, welbeck

Same case with Japan and the pleasure women cases - shame on Japan for ignoring the damage decades later.

What a contrast today,thank goodness. My granddaughter had a baby, my great grandson,aged 17 in the middle of her final school year. She repeated the year the following year and took the little boy to school with her a few times to show all her admiring friends. She went on to university and did 2 degrees and is now still with her original schoolboy partner living in the house they bought together and working as an intensive care nurse in a major hospital. Lots and lots of support from the boy’s parents and my daughter which continues. One happy 19 year old great grandson who is a real cool dude with such young and energetic parents! What a different scenario it could have been in previous generations.

Not 19 year old of course,9,

It was down to the parents who thought more about what others thought and the church for bring such hypocrists. Christ taught live and forgiveness, they showed none. Priest fathering babies, shows how much they believed in God, how much they valued people, especially their isn't child they just wanted out of the way or the innocent girl they ruined. How are governments responsible for that way of thinking at the time. My mother said to me when a teenager, she would stand by all of us and blow the neighbours if we got into trouble as she called it, but she didn't want us to be mothers until we had a husband we loved, she never mentioned sex, periods or anything like that but she was a loving mother who thought more about her family than what society went along with. Injustices have happened through the time and attitudes gradually change when people oppose them . It's unbearable what those young girls suffered its enough to send you mad. I just hope those babies they loved sought them out, I know I would never stop searching. If government wanted to help the victims they could make a central register easily available, if both parties wanted it. If its two youngsters, with their lives in front of them, both families should be responsible for the child, if they wanted the child adopted do it openly, not be forced into marriage. None of us got into trouble as they called it. We can't be apologising for things that happened years ago of which we had no control over, children down mines, child prostitution, slavery. We learn by our mistakes and you are not talking about everyone feeling that way and predudicd , just some. Everything is out there now, back in the day it wasn't.

the govt at the time allowed those practices to go on

Which is not the govt now, so an apology is worthless!

Anyone can stand up and say ‘sorry’, but it’s just words, it doesn’t change what happened or make it go away.

Pointless.

An apology may not be appropriate as has been said , but an acknowledgment that things that happened were wrong might, in some small way, help, certainly couldn’t hurt.

Having worked on my family tree and several trees for others I
find in 19th century and early 20th century illegitimate children lived with their mothers family.

I did research into the local mental hospital, there were women from wealthy families ,inmates, reason was immorality .

I mentioned this earlier Anniebach and in fact I worked as a nurse with some of the women who had been in hospital for decades classed as moral defectives. Some were eventually moved from hospital into the community but they were old and institutionalised by this time. Such a sad waste of lives.

Yes when I was a teenager my school seemed to think it was a good idea for us to do work experience at a long stay hospital, it was mostly for people with learning disabilities (and that's another situation where acknowledgement of mistakes might be a good thing) but there were also elderly women in there who we were told had had illegitimate children, they were completely institutionalized and displaying lots of concerning behaviours. Why my school thought it was appropriate for either the children or the residents I have no idea.

Sorry Welbeck I would find such an apology meaningless and just Government currying favour and mouthing platitudes.
We will agree to disagree.